Jasper's Corner

[ID: a photo of Neil, a rat, sitting in front of a toy xylophone. It's captioned "Neil banging out the tunes, April 13, 2006." End ID.]

mymusician... oughh my little bug [remembers parasocial relationships are bad] [remembers infantilization is bad] this complete stranger is their own huge bug

my favorite pastime is ruining my sleep schedule for more alone time

this is how they make lacroix

Roll the fuck up, I NEED THE ENRICHMENT ACTIVITIES.

Pelican mouth perfect size for camera lens

the real danger of spending too much time with friends is you stumble out of ten days of happiness and good food like oh my god THAT was real life. my job means NOTHING

Police vs law enforcement

Look I used to work with tow truck guys and they do not give a fuck. One time the Air Force was doing a recruiting stunt and they decided to bring a plane as like…a prop? I dunno and they parked it in a 20 minute loading zone and 21 minutes later my coworkers IMPOUNDED THE PLANE.

Do you ever wonder how many stories have been told about you? I don’t mean rumors or gossip. A story like “ one time I was at the mall and this girl dropped her hotdog but she picked it up and ate it” what if I’m that girl??how many times have people seen me do something I thought no one saw and is now being used as an ice breaker at a family dinner? Hmmmmmm?!???!

one time i was in this historical park in new york and i was climbing a tree in order to get a good photo and i fell out just as a family was walking past…two years later i ran into the mom at stop&shop and she gasped and said “oh my god, tree girl?” and i’ve never been the same since

The two forms of trans man facial hair are the chilchuck sideburns and the senshi all of that.

A nine tailed kitsune but all the tails are those floating inflatable men you see outside car dealerships