Tumblr dot Comedy

Here's Joma and Morrow's GoFundMe, because they were indicted on federal charges.

Here's Joma and Morrow's GoFundMe, because they were indicted on federal charges.

At Halloween last year, the tiniest little girl dressed as one of the Folk came to my door. There's an increasingly magnificent native beautyberry to one side of my stoop, with its marvelous electric purple berries served up in great tumbles, and she was transfixed by it. She got her candy, I complimented her costume, she started down the stairs, and then stopped, and turned back around. Her: "Are those for-eating berries?" Me: "Oh, you are so smart and clever for asking first! That is such a good idea, I'm so impressed! These are Callicarpa, called beautyberry, and they are edible. Usually they are for cooking, though, to make syrup or jam, and they're not very nice right off the bush. But they are a food berry, and you're so smart to ask!" Her: "Can I...try one?" Me: "If your mother says you may." Her mother, from the walk: "Are you SURE, like, 100% sure. That those are food." Me: "A hundred percent sure, ma'am. I could show you a couple of websites on them, if you want." The Girl: *waits for her mother's nod, then gently reaches out and takes three very small berries and puts them into her mouth* The Girl: *makes an inquisitive face as she chews, walking down the path toward her mother* Me, turning back inside: "Husband, you should have seen this very smart little girl just now!"

I always assumed when ancient people were figuring out what was edible and what wasn’t, it was a really scary thing people were forced to do to survive. I didn’t realize this was a service that some people just feel instinctively driven to provide, even when there’s literally no reason to do it and almost every reason not to

if theres one thing that really pissed me off from my 3 years of architecture i took in high school it's learning about how we used to have all these little techniques to maximize or minimize heat or warmth and now we just merrily abandoned all those to have the same copypaste style buildings everywhere that are often INCREDIBLY unoptimized to the local weather and climate so we can just throw more money at our heating and cooling bills

where i live it is hot as balls approximately 80% of the year. i do not want a massive butt-ugly grey mcmansion with a huge echoey open-concept kitchen-livingroom-foyer-diningroom-staircase that has huge windows so i can have an hvac unit the size of a barge heaving and straining to keep it at a constant 72 the grees. i want a north indian traditional style home with small windows to force the airflow to cool, decorative grates to limit the amount of sunlight, and a COURTYARD with a POND *smashes unspecified large object*

I hate learning about instances of "oh yeah we know how to do that, we just don't".

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

i hate these motherfuckers so much. our sewer system used to be infested with them. they;d crawl out of my fucking toilet at night looking for warmth, standing up from the bowl waving their shitass little arms at me. they don’t have eyes but you can feel them staring back at you, asking for hugs or god knows what with that pathetic whine that permeates their entire way of existence. uppies! uppies! i’m not giving you uppies you wet toilet freak

Found the source of the infographic that explains how the results were obtained!

we did it, we created furry gerrymandering

Two animals who appreciate the Warm Lamp

The 4th of July commemorates the American Revolution, an event which took place in Qing-dynasty North America during the reign of the Qianlong Emperor, Gaozong

It represents a succesful uprising against the rule of one of the local warlords feuding in Europe at the time.

Despite the Europeans' primitive and haphazard seafaring, they were able to establish a handful of outposts on a continent previously unknown to them. By the reign of Gaozong, they had imported enough Europeans (as well as African captives from local wars) and been successful in their campaigns of banditry against the established local civilizations that they had coastal cities, their own warlords—and armies that were well versed in bandit tactics. July 4th marks the signing of the declaration of war. To this day, some places in North America set off fireworks as part of a ritual celebration that includes traditional songs and foods.