If someone jerks me off with a puppet it counts as a threesome, right?
read your bible
thanks!

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@theilonius
If someone jerks me off with a puppet it counts as a threesome, right?
read your bible
thanks!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Everything about this is a masterpiece: the girl that says “wow” and the girl that says “hi” shyly and bill awkwardly lifting his hand to say hi to them I’m cracking THE FUCK UP
The way they all immediately straightened up their postures like the fuckin pope walked in 😂 the sheer power this cool science man has over the american people is palpable
a marriage of humankind's two greatest design achievements: the illuminated manuscript and the cool S
I like when the bus stops directly in front of you out of the line of waiting people and opens its doors. Chosen by the dragon
I hate this post. Ever since I read it I can't help but think "chosen by the dragon" whenever the bus stops in front of me or "denied by the dragon" when it doesn't. Every. single. time. That's a minimum of ten times a week. Do you know how annoying that is

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you’re stupid
Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.
I am a glorified office administrator who understands server hardware why am I the only person in this company who gets what social engineering is?
Total stranger on the phone who we’ve never spoken to before: I have power of attorney over the CEO of this corporation and we are a customer of yours. Please change the administrator password on the server to XXXXX
My boss, putting on white grease paint and a red wig: Oh, of course! Let’s do it quickly so that you’ll want to keep working with us since you’re going to be making business decisions!
Me: I would sell you to satan for one corn chip and I’m allergic to corn but before you do this maybe you should call someone who is actually on our contact list for our customer and see if they’ve ever heard of this stranger.
My boss, looking through a selection of shoes that honk when you walk: Oh, but she said that it was very important that none of the employees know what was happening because they’re making staffing changes.
Me: As your lawyer I recommend that you just call a single one of our contacts and see if they’ve ever heard of her name.
My boss, shoving all of our technicians into a VW beetle: You’re not my lawyer.
Me: HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW? I COULD BE! YOU SHOULD MAYBE CHECK ON THAT.
TIL everyone’s employee ID at my company is the last five of their SSN.
Boss: On the bright side, it’s only the last five
Me: YOU CAN COMMIT FRAUD WITH FOUR
Security firms that are hired to check the security of banks will often use the following tactic: They will walk up to the teller in a suit with their ID badge and a clipboard and go:
“Hello I am [name] from [security firm] we’ve been hired to verify the security of the facility I need to see your computers.”
“Erm…I’ll have to verify that with my managers.”
“Congratulations, you have just passed the security verification.” [Scribbles on clipboard] “But in all seriousness I do need to verify your security so I need to see your computers.”
“Oh okay.” AND LETS THEM IN.
“Social engineering” is a way too fancy word for what it is. I know a guy (not personally) who broke several people out of prison by essentially writing “Greetings, please release this person, signed, whoever the judge is” on a piece of paper and faxing it there. Because no one would have a fax machine in their own house I guess.
not to derail, but holy shit that praxis
I’ve had clerks just give out a whole ass SSN when I asked.
An inspection in 2014 found the password for the Louvre’s surveillance camera system was “louvre.”
Shout out to this tiny yet crucial error on an otherwise actually very informative post about myths about tax returns and the IRS
oh boy! something in my mailbox from the IRA? I wonder what it could be!
one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"
the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

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help... no you're thinking of breaking bad
Breaking Things
this world is so funny
but I’m done laughing
my cat when shes been wiggling all silly and happy while i pet her and then bites the shit out of me and leaves
dungeon meshi but they end up in the back rooms, a cursed idea that was eating away at my brain
Peer-reviewing @monikoishi's tags because they're banger.
before you post, consider:
is it FUNNY BUT ONLY TO YOU AND A FEW SELECT MUTUALS?
is it USELESS?
is it a COMPLAINT?
will it KILL YOUR FUTURE CAREER?
if any of the above are true, hit that POST button!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
free him
Horrible job everyone
@hellsite-hall-of-fame