"see it pass me bi -- decay inside"

*opens a doc*

me: ok brain now let’s write

my brain:

Chapter 77 in a nutshell:

Red flags and warning signs of an abuser include but are not limited to:

Extreme jealousy

Possessiveness

Unpredictability

A bad temper

Cruelty to animals

Verbal abuse

Extremely controlling behavior

Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships

Forced sex or disregard of their partner’s unwillingness to have sex

Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods

Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens

Sabotage or obstruction of the victim’s ability to work or attend school

Controls all the finances

Abuse of other family members, children or pets

Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair

Control of what the victim wears and how they act

Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly

Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others

Harassment of the victim at work

What Traits Do Abusers Have in Common?

There is no one typical, detectable personality of an abuser. However, they do often display common characteristics.

An abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence and its effect on the victim and other family members.

An abuser objectifies the victim and often sees them as their property or sexual objects.

An abuser has low self-esteem and feels powerless and ineffective in the world. He or she may appear successful, but internally, they feel inadequate.

An abuser externalizes the causes of their behavior. They blame their violence on circumstances such as stress, their partner’s behavior, a “bad day,” on alcohol, drugs, or other factors.

every week there's another news item that immediately tops the list of real life events that sound like an overwrought politics SNL sketch and every week all i can do is laugh because otherwise i'd be resorting to arson

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT OUR ENTIRE PLAN FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS HINGES ON A FILE THAT I COULD HAVE BUILT?

I’ve been teaching Kitten Kindergarten classes for a few months and it’s been a super interesting process. Kitten behavior is so different from puppy behavior, so I had to play around with the class structure quite a bit to find something that works. Each class we work on socialization to new people, animals, stimuli and places, introduce a behavior to train, and walk the owners through cooperative care strategies.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/s43ps2cywycvnpn/AABkSXkkzLddg9fcDTbWN3mca?dl=0

So, there's really only a few responses a reader can have when reading an author's negative statement about their own work. One, if it is at that start of a a work, they take it a face value and do not read. Two, it subconsciously primes the reader to notice that mistake pointed out by the author more than usually would. Three, the reader does not care and/or is now prepared to assure you that you're a good writer. Four, the reader now feels self-conscious if they enjoyed your work because if you think it is bad what does it say about them if they enjoyed it.

In most of these cases, in writing that comment, you've already implicitly decided for the reader how they should read the work - to view it in the light of something bad. Isn't that awfully convenient to the awful voice in your head? To help it color the world in a unflattering light?

A guy at church once told me, after I’d set a plate of cookies down on a table and said, ‘I used too much salt and the chocolate is a little bitter,’ “Why do you always insult your baking? You just make me afraid to eat it, even though your baking is always great. Set the cookies down and let me make up my own mind.”

What helped me is by adding neutral comments that pass no judgement; for example when showing an artwork to a friend: “This is the first time I worked with paints.” Or give random info like: “While writing this chapter I did some research into this kind of topic. I learnt some interesting stuff.”

-people telling you to fuck off on your own posts

-anons getting mad at people for not knowing things about them due to the anon being on anon

-when like a kid starts shit with an adult and doesn’t have their age in their bio and the adult is rude back and then the kid is like “omg you’re bullying minors i’m 12 you worthless pos”

-when people reblog like a totally normal post with a bunch of weird headcanons and then you realize they’re talking about like the band kiss or whatever

-bidoof’s law

-“you know what? fuck this. fuck you. *the worst take you can possibly imagine*”