Cactus in a Cowboy Hat

<Lila> Buongiorno!  I’m Lila Rossi and I’m playing Irene, who is a direct descendant of the original Irene Idler written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

<Interviewer>: So, can you tell us about how your audition went?

<Lila> (Giggles) Oh, no! No no no! It was so bad! I said and did everything wrong and completely alienated some of my future castmates. I’m surprised they asked me back. (Rueful look).

<Interviewer>: Why do you think they did?

<Lila> (Thinks for a minute) As much as I would like to say it’s my talent, (self-deprecating laugh), it’s all due to the brilliance of Signora Amelie, our casting director. She clearly saw some potential in me and gave me a second chance. (grateful smile)

<Interviewer> Can you tell us a bit about  your character? What brings her to this setting?

<Lila> A scholarship! (Laughs) Well, that’s part of it. I mean, who wouldn’t want a world class education for free? Especially amongst people who should have always been her peers? (Looks thoughtful) Well, that’s part of her reason and the one the Headmaster gives for bringing her there. But he has a secret agenda involving…(glances at someone off-camera)...another student at the school. I can’t say who of course, but if you’ve ever read Doyle’s…I mean…the author’s works before, I’m sure you’ll be able to work out who. And yeah, Irene has her own agenda. 

<Interviewer> What’s Irene’s personality like?

<Lila> (Thinks) Smart. Curious. But also…headstrong. She likes to be in charge of any situation she’s in and resents being told what to do or how to act. Sure, she’s going along with others for now, but she has her own plan.  To be honest, she’s the hero of her own story. (Brightens) Maybe a spinoff movie of her own!

(Pause)

<Interviewer> So, what is Irene’s relationship with…the person she was brought to school to meet?

<Lila> (coyly) What makes you think there is one? (giggles) Well…she finds…them…interesting…and if anything…happens…that might be okay if that’s something she chooses for herself. But she likes having options. (laughs)

<Interviewer> I understand some of your classmates were also cast in this movie. What’s it like filming with people you know?

<Lila> (smiles warmly) Mylene, Ivan and I have been friends since college or what Americans might call Middle School. We don’t have many scenes together but it’s wonderful seeing them on-set. 

<Interviewer> Anyone else? Chloe Bourgeois and Marinette Dupain-Cheng for example?

(Lila’s expression becomes carefully neutral.)

<Lila> Chloe and I never got along. There can only be one queen bee in each class after all and I don’t think she liked the fact I’m well-traveled and more…I hate to say more likable. Charismatic, maybe? I don’t know. (Forced laugh before becoming thoughtful.)

<Lila> (Continuing) Marinette and I had a big misunderstanding the first day we met and we could just never resolve it. It would be easy to say she was jealous of me back then but she was so popular and talented I don’t know why. Just chalk it up to personality clashes I guess. (Shrug)

<Interviewer> Any disagreements on set?

<Lila> (artful laugh) On a Graham Films production? Never! Signora Amelie would never allow it. Chloe is our set photographer but I barely know she’s there most of the time. Just some camera clicks. Marinette, on the other hand, is one of the protagonists of the film. (Barely noticeably winces.) She’s also helping out in the Wardrobe Department and even designed a few pieces, like our school uniforms and some formal dresses? (Looks off-screen) Can I talk about this? Be careful? All right. 

<Lila> There’s a scene with a…formal dance? We’re about to film it and the dress Marinette designed for me is absolutely stunning. (Sighs happily) I can’t wait to wear it. I hope they let me take it home after the movie wraps. Or maybe wear it to the premiere? I don’t know. (laughs)

<Interviewer> We have to wrap soon but is there anything else you can tell us about the movie?

<Lila> (mysterious smile) Not without breaking my NDA! (Faces camera) Don’t forget to go see [redacted] when it comes out next spring!

*****

They look so good together.

Barry tried to concentrate on his dance partner and make pleasant but meaningless conversation but he couldn’t. His eyes kept straying to Felicity and Jack as they quite literally took center stage and danced together. They had been nervous and clumsy when they practiced together but now their moves were graceful and their dance seamless. They’d barely been acquainted, or re-acquainted, for two months and now they moved with perfect synchronized moves.

He tried not to grind his teeth and turned his attention back to his own dance moves. It was a credit to his dancing instructor that he hadn’t missed a step but Irene seemed to notice when his attention wandered and she gave him a tiny but sympathetic smile.

“Try not to think about them,” she whispered and rubbed her thumb gently across his knuckles. He knew it was a blatant attempt to divert his attention off them and onto her but he was glad. He smiled back at her, polite but with a touch of sincerity. It wasn’t her fault he was distracted and he was impressed that she hadn’t made a scene.

Barry looked down at Miss Adler. She usually looked shrewd and calculating when she thought he wasn’t observing her but now she looked empathetic and nearly sincere. She really was attractive with her chestnut hair and almond shaped olive eyes. He wondered why he never felt drawn to her beauty or brains; she had both and could be charming when she chose to be. He was sure the Headmaster was trying to throw them together in the hopes that romance would bloom and the Holmes line would continue. He thought it was a little too soon to consider marriage and romance but the Society would argue. They no doubt saw him and his friends not as future leaders but stock in an ongoing breeding program. It was a little depressing.

“Your dress is lovely,” he finally told her.

She raised her eyebrows and looked more amused than angry. “Yes. I know.” She took the lead and swung him about. “Is that the best you can do?”

It was on the tip of his tongue to apologize but he didn’t. That would have been a sign of weakness. He was Holmes after all and the Holmes Family would never admit to having flaws.

“You’re as lovely and clever as a fox and your dress brings out your eyes and makes your hair gleam,” he tried again. He re-took control of the dance.  “You should wear this shade of green more often.”

Irene gazed up at him and looked amused. “Not completely original but at least you’re making an effort.”

Barry raised a brow. “And what,” he asked her with exaggerated haughtiness, “would you consider an original compliment?”

Instead of being offended she laughed and began to give him ways she would like to be complimented. He allowed his mind to wander back to Jack and Felicity, nodding and responding to Adler at just the right times.

Jack and Felicity were dancing together and he felt a stab of envy. They took turns leading and sometimes Jack would make Felicity laugh; the sound floating over to Barry and he loved the sound of her familiar giggle despite himself. Felicity was petite, lovely, and fair; Jack rather handsome, taller and slightly darker in complexion. Yet their hair was nearly the same color, their eyes a similar shade of blue. Together they looked like a matched set and Barry felt betrayed somehow by both of them.

The song they were dancing to ended and Barry brought his partner to a gentle stop before applauding politely for the orchestra. He bowed politely to Irene who gave him another knowing, sympathetic smile. 

She curtsied to him. “Thank you for the dance,” she said formally and leaned in as if going for a kiss. Barry forced himself to stay still. Everyone was watching them.

“I hope your next dance is more enjoyable,” she whispered and gave him a saucy wink before sashaying away from him and towards Marlowe.

Barry wanted to sigh and leave the dance floor but to do so would draw too much attention, at least right now. Instead, he strode over to Felicity’s side and snagged her hand and gently pulled her away from Jack.

“You don’t mind if I dance with one of the prettiest girls here, do you, Watson?” he asked.

Jack blinked and looked at Holmes as if he wasn’t expecting him. “Well, I think that’s up to her.”

“Right. I can’t believe I even asked.” He looked at Dupin. “You’ll dance with me, right, Flick? In a way you almost have to. Traditions must be upheld even when they’re stupid.”

Felicity looked at him and laughed in surprise. Barry would never admit how much it warmed him to make her laugh. She shrugged her shoulders at him and grabbed his free hand. “I guess I can be magnanimous, even though you’re acting like an ass.” She pulled him to the center of the room. “I’m leading and I don’t want a word out of you.”

"But my darling Flick," Barrington Holmes smiled genuinely for the first time that night. Mischief dancing in his eyes as he appraised Felicity Dupin. "How ever can I wax poetic on your beauty and dress choice if I'm to be mute?"

*****

They look so good together.

Jack stood at the edge of the dance floor and tried to decide if he was angry or not. Sure, Barry had strolled up to Felicity like the spoiled brat he was and dragged her off to dance. Jack’s first instinct was to pull Felicity away and spend a few enjoyable minutes kicking Barry’s ass but before he could Felicity looked over her shoulder and winked at him. Jack figured she was trying to tell him not to interfere and she could handle herself. Besides, Jack would probably get himself suspended or stuck with detention. He doubted the Headmaster would have expelled him; the man had made a huge show out of finding and recruiting “The Watson” so the worst Jack would get was a stern talking to.

He felt several people staring at him and tried not to look like he was about to attack the most important person there. He attempted to look bored and slightly turned away from the dancers. Aubrey wasn’t impressed by his “lone wolf” crap and handed him a glass of punch. Her gaze up at him was one of sympathy but at least it wasn’t pity. She looked from him to the pair dancing and rolled her eyes. It was all teen drama, she was saying and he felt a little better. He took a sip and gave her a nod of thanks. She grinned and let Nick Charles IV guide her to the dance floor. Well, at least one other student saw him as a person and not just a Spade.

He couldn’t help but watch them dance. Their movements were graceful and in sync. Barry kept one of his hands respectfully on Felicity’s shoulders and not her waist. He held the other at shoulder height, just as their dance instructor had taught them. They glared at each other even while they smiled and twirled and Jack felt very amused despite feeling left out.

Felicity and Barry made a striking couple. Holmes was tall with a golden tan, green eyes and blond hair. He was classically handsome in a way Jack never could be. Felicity was petite and fair and barely came up to her partner’s shoulder but radiated strength. Her dark hair was pulled up in a classic Grecian style and she even wore a tiny little crown.

Like a goddamn queen. Jack doubted he was the only one there who wanted to kneel and worship her.

They fought against one another and somehow this made them balance each other perfectly. Yin and Yang, all that kind of shit. They weren’t even looking at anyone else because they were too lost in each other, even if they were arguing. There was an elegance to them.

Jack tried not to sigh because people would think he was being disrespectful or bored. Dupin and Holmes had a history, even if Watson was supposed to be Barry’s partner and Felicity the rival who nonetheless respected her opponent and vice versa.

Yet Jack had spent nearly a decade away from these people and barely knew shit. Felicity and Barry had a bond of shared history, maybe even in-jokes and stories he couldn’t be a part of. He shouldn’t like Holmes because of what his family did to Jack’s mom and Felicity should have been no one to him.

But she wasn’t. She was Filly. She was the only one of his classmates he remembered and watching her dance with a guy he was learning to like and respect hurt when it shouldn’t.

Suddenly Jack felt ashamed, like he was watching something private, almost intimate. For a second he could almost see the future; Barry and Felicity would marry one day, joining the Dupin/Holmes families into one line. They would have multiple kids and at least one of each would carry the name of Holmes or Dupin. They’d be incredibly blissful in-between all the snark and happily bitch at each other until they died.

His neck began to close up and he felt nauseous at the thought of them being happy, even if that made  him a selfish asshole. He’d probably be “Uncle Jack” and babysit the kids, telling funny stories about his friends while he slowly died inside. If Barry ever asked him to be Best Man while Holmes married Dupin, Jack would puke in his face.

Jack finished his punch and gave it to a passing waiter who was collecting them. The glass was genuine cut crystal and even the waiter had a small diamond stud in one ear. He’d never get used to this rich people's bullshit.

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket but he didn’t want to pull it out in front of everyone. He pushed his way through the crowd and towards the bathrooms for some privacy. He hoped it was Jayden or Elinor; he could use a distraction from this lovey-dovey, courtship over daggers drawn crap.

He glanced at the dance floor. Seabert and Elinor were still dancing with that guy Filly said was his cousin. It was probably Jayden.

Jack ducked into a stall and pulled out his phone. Only three words were written there.

“Andrey isn’t here.”

Andrey? Who the hell was Andrey? He knew he wasn’t very socially savvy, but he couldn’t recall anyone in any of his classes named Andrey. Maybe he was a Heart or a Club…

Oh, wait.

Andrey probably referred to Prince Andrei Bolkonsky, from War and Peace. He remembered reading it in school back in the US but he also remembered Filly dragging him into her room one night to watch some musical. They lay on her bed and she popped in a bootleg DVD on an ancient DVD player. It was called Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812, based on War and Peace. He was pretty sure he fell asleep halfway through but Felicity loved it and even cried a little. 

Afterwards he asked her why. “It’s because it’s sad and so many people are unhappy with their lives, right?” He tried joking with her. “Well that’s very Russian. Life is hard, which is why Pierre was trying to find enlightenment…”

She laughed a little then, even though she still cried. “Yes, it’s very Russian,” she agreed. Felicity smiled and looked away, staring at something only she could see. “Professor Chunin would say the same thing,” she told him as she scooted a little closer to him on the bed. “He was Russian and encouraged us to read War and Peace.”

Jack didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t known Professor Chunin but had heard his mom mention him. She seemed to like him. “It’s kinda dense,” he said lamely.

She’d laid her head on his shoulder. He’d stiffened but she hadn’t seemed to know what she was doing. “Yup. It’s the densest damn thing I’ve ever read in my life.” She smiled, lost in memories. “Professor Chunin brought this in for us to watch because he thought it’d help us understand the book more.”

“Did it?”

“A little.” She was quiet and then said, “This production has Phillippa Soo. From before Hamilton.”

He was impressed. “Before she was famous? Wow.”

They watched the last ten minutes of the musical together and then he went back to the room he shared with Holmes. He wasn’t sure why she’d dragged him over. Did she just want to spend time with him? Mourn her professor and the whole reason they were investigating? Help him understand why this murder was so important to them personally? All of it? 

Jack appreciated her subtlety but every now and then he wished she’d be blunt. He knew she and the others saw his plain way of speaking as “too American” but at least he’d know where he stood and what was going on. 

He put the phone away and left the bathroom. He scanned the walls of the ball room. He was pretty sure he’d seen some decorative weapons on the wall.

Showtime.

*****

Their dance was nearing its end and Barry…was reluctant to stop dancing with Felicity. Having his hand on her shoulder, listening to the music, staring into her beautiful eyes…he was enjoying himself. Far more than what was proper for a member of the Holmes family.

He’d known her nearly all his life; she was a Founder, the descendant of the true Founder, really, and she should be leading the investigation. She was brilliant, determined, and spirited.

She’d been sweet and friendly to him at first; they’d gotten along well in Primary school for the first year. Then it was as if a switch had been flicked and she’d been given the chip on the shoulder created by her ancestor.

She argued with him over everything; challenging him when he was sure he was right. Felicity made him question the rights and privileges just handed to him as a Holmes. Her eye for observation was sometimes even better than his own and she had a talent for evidence analysis he appreciated.

His father and his professors didn’t seem to like it when he acknowledged a Dupin might be better at something than a Holmes and he received special tutelage after school.

We are grateful to the Dupins for the idea to form the Order but it was Sherlock Holmes who used his influence and contacts within the British government to actually make it happen. No one wanted to join when Auguste Dupin suggested an international organization to fight crime. Everyone wanted to support the famous detective Sherlock Holmes. 

Really, the lack of recognition on their part.

Does the Dupin family have an eidetic memory? I think not.

On and on it went and over time he began to absorb the lessons given to him by the family tutors. He grew into his role as the rightful heir to their little society and distanced himself from Felicity. He concentrated on growing stronger bonds with the others, especially Jack. Except when he became condescending towards Dupin, Watson drew farther away from him. It was perplexing; Jack was to be his best friend and Felicity his friendly rival.

And then Jack left them. Left him.

Then there were two…

He and Felicity never regained their earlier camaraderie. He always thought she blamed him for Jack’s leaving and he couldn’t disagree. They had no choice but to put him in the past and grow up without Jack.

Barry wasn’t blind. He prided himself on his powers of perception and it hadn’t escaped his notion that puberty had been rather kind to Flick and she’d developed into a beautiful young woman. He rather liked the spark in her eyes and pink cheeks when she made a point during an argument. He wouldn’t admit it, but he preferred the smug little smile she sent him when she knew she won against him.

He wondered what would happen if he asked her out once this case was solved. Would she laugh in his face? Would his classmates judge him? Headmaster Doyle might forbid it, something about diluting the bloodlines. Founders didn’t intermarry for a reason.

Well, marriage was a long way off for any of them but would it really be so bad? Just a spot of romance?

He felt his Kiwi Watch buzz and by the widening of Felicity’s eyes, he knew hers had too. He glanced at it out of the corner of his eye and read the message.

“Andrey isn’t here.”

Felicity glanced up at him and he scrunched his nose at her. She recognized it as his nervous little tic and knew exactly what it meant.

Time to act your heart out and put on a show.

She blinked twice at him. “Message received. Follow my lead.”

*****

Felicity stopped in the middle of the dance floor bringing their waltz to a screeching halt.

“Are you seriously bringing up 2018 right now?”

Her voice was pitched loud enough to attract attention but not so much that she would be overheard by everyone in the room. Just the professors, Headmaster Doyle and any other adult or interfering classmate they needed to distract. 

She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a hostile glare. God, she was amazing.

Barry took a step back and gave her a look of such smug superiority it should be patented. “We both agreed you were wrong then and I’ll remind you again now.”

She made a sound that was somewhere between an offended gasp and a squawk. “We never agreed to that!”

“My memory is known for its accuracy,” he shot back.

The other dancers stopped to watch them. Even the orchestra had stopped playing. Aubrey and Nick moved closer as if preparing to separate them.

Intellectually, logically, she knew this was all part of the plan. Barry was a talented actor with a flair for the dramatic nearly as great as his ancestor’s had been. However she had been put down by his family all her life, mocked as inferior. Barry was only mimicking what he’d been taught. He was only pretending to be condescending to aid their plan.

But something in his fucking delivery just pissed her off.

Her hand flew up almost too fast for her to stop it and before it connected she just mentally shrugged and decided to apologize later.

Felicity knew she hadn’t hit him too hard but in the sudden quiet of the room it sounded like a flashbang. If everyone wasn’t staring at them before they sure as hell were now.

There was now an angry red mark in the shape of her hand on Barry’s face. The scarlet contrasted with the dark colors of his evening wear and almost looked artistic. He scowled angrily and stomped towards her. She took a few steps back towards the swords before she remembered they needed Jack to step in and join the act and stood her ground.

Jack had been watching from the sidelines when he saw Filly slap Holmes’ self-righteous face. He was just about to cheer for her when he saw Barry take some threatening steps towards his much shorter opponent.

He forgot about the plan at that moment and what he was seeing wasn’t real. He forgot he didn’t know the Dupin/Holmes dynamic very well. He even forgot he’d witnessed how well they could work together when they put their differences aside. All he knew was someone he cared about was in danger and he was going to stop it.

Besides, he had wanted to punch Barry in his smug fucking face for awhile now.

He stomped his way over to where they were standing. Students and faculty scrambled to get out of his way but seemed too shocked to try to stop him. He guessed this isn't usual Spade behavior. Whatever.

The tension in the room rose as Holmes and Watson squared off against each other. Everyone seemed to be holding their breaths as they waited for one or the other to say something. A few people backed away like Irene Adler, who eyed the two boys with distaste. “This is disgusting. If I were Felicity I’d bonk their heads together and leave,” she muttered to Marlowe. Then she turned her back on her fellow Spades and pretended not to see the two boys arguing. Marlowe chuckled and searched his pockets for his phone.

Felicity took a few steps back but didn’t go too far. Jack was perfect; all brash bravado and chivalrous anger. She hoped Barry would pick up on his performance and act accordingly.

She felt gentle hands on her shoulders. Elinor and Seabert stood on either side of her, Freddy hovering behind them nervously. They were probably there to “get her to safety” once the fight began. Clever way of making an exit.

Jack’s fist swung and connected with Barry’s cheek.

Right in the same spot where Felicity had slapped him.

Goddammit, they hadn’t planned that part!

The blow staggered Barry more than he thought it would and he had to catch himself before falling over. He was lucky he hadn’t been hit in the mouth. No need to bleed and add an extra layer of drama.

Barry forced a laugh even though his face was throbbing. He was beginning to think he should have studied more boxing and less chess. It was too late now.

“Really, Watson? You-you’re going to punch me in the face? You’ve spent far too much time with those American barbarians.” He put on his best cocky grin and used the most condescending tone he could manage with a swelling face. “You want to fight me for Flick’s honor?” He spread his arms as the audience around them gasped and murmured among themselves. He wondered if the school could block the Wi-Fi and keep this squabble off social media.

He continued as if no one had made a sound. “Let’s go. But not with our fists.” He began to walk backwards and Jack followed him without thinking. He smirked and his voice became smarmy. They were getting near the decorative swords that had been displayed on the wall for nearly a century. Perfect.

“Don’t be so pedestrian as to fight with your fists,” Barry taunted and Jack glared at him. “If we’re doing this, we’re going to do this right. Swords are the only way for two proper gentlemen to duel.”

There was a glimmer in Jack’s eyes and Barry realized he’d picked up on Barry’s meaning. For a moment he thought Watson was going to fight him for real. 

A sword duel was a perfect distraction. It was flashy and would release some of the mounting tension he and Jack had been building up for the past few weeks.

Felicity decided now was the perfect moment to speak up. “Are you kidding me?! Are you out of your damn minds?”

Jack was almost to the swords. “It’s okay, Filly,” he tried to be reassuring,”I won’t hurt him. It’ll be over in a minute.”

“This is damn stupid!” She fired back. “I don’t need anyone to fight a duel for me! If Barry needs his ass kicked, I can beat him up myself!”

“Sorry, dearest,” Barry called out. “This isn’t just about your honor any more. Watson and I have had this little skirmish building up since the day he came back here. Isn’t that right?” He asked Jack.

Watson joined him over by the swords. The two boys stared at each other and neither wanted to be the first to look away. “Damn straight. Someone should’ve humbled your ass a long time ago.” He shrugged, his grin just as self-assured and cocky as Holmes’. “Might as well be me.”

Barry laughed. He was enjoying himself, even more than dancing with Felicity. “You can certainly try.”

Felicity looked around as she couldn’t believe what she was hearing and even moved forward as if she intended to throw herself in between the two boys to stop the duel. Seabert and Elinor grabbed her arms and gently tugged her away from Barry and Jack.

She tried to wiggle out of their grasps but they held firm. She looked at Headmaster Doyle, locking eyes on him, hoping he’d intervene.

The man seemed frozen, unable to look away. The mature responsible adults were as mesmerized as the teenagers filming the sword challenge for BikBok.

As she was forcibly led off the dance floor and towards “safety” she was heard to utter one more phrase”

“You have got to be shitting me!”

*****

Somewhere lost in his own head Felix a thrill went up his back as he thought of dueling on screen. He pretended not to notice the stunt crew, now dressed as school staff, make their way closer to the duelist. He felt relieved to know this “fight” would be closely monitored so no one would get hurt. He was relieved that Rossi seemed to be behaving herself lately but he didn’t trust her silence. However, at least this time he knew they’d have evidence on film. Well, enough thinking about unimportant things, it was time to hope he remembered everything Agreste taught them.

*****

Barry went over to the twin sabres displayed on the wall and smoothly pulled one out of its sheath. He briefly admired the blade. It was a reproduction of something his ancestor had been gifted by a grateful king for rescuing the man’s hound or something. It wasn’t steel or even sharpened but it was good enough for their purposes. He tossed the sabre, hilt first, towards Jack.

The crowd gasped but Jack caught the sabre and in one fluid motion moved into the “en garde” position. His face was impassive but his eyes glowed with a mesmerising blue flame. Clearly Watson was looking forward to “pretending” to duel Holmes. Barry hoped Jack would remember this was supposed to be a distraction and not accidentally disembowel him. 

“Giving me my weapon first, aren’t you generous?” Jack spoke a little louder than usual as he tried to keep the crowd’s focus on him.

Barry grinned, slipping the matching blade out of its scabbard with a flourish as he brandished it at his classmate. “Not really.” He pointed at Jack’s blade with his own. “That’s the broken one.”

Watson lowered his sword and glared at him. “So, you’re not just an asshole, you're a cheating asshole.”

Holmes moved into the “en garde” position. “I’d prefer to say strategic.”

“That doesn’t make you any less of a dick.”

Barry smiled but never took his eyes off his opponent. “Ready when you are.”

The crowd held its collective breath. There were some in the crowd who thought Holmes could use a little humbling and anyone with eyes could tell there was tension between the two should-be partners and this fight was bound to happen. Okay, the sabres were unexpected but not unwelcome. Some people thought Holmes and Watson would look more interesting with dueling scars or a missing eye.

Some, especially among the staff, were worried about possible injuries and what could happen to the Society if one or both of the boys were permanently injured or worse. Why was no one stepping in to stop this? Did everyone enjoy the spectacle that much?

Both boys watched each other for a long moment, unsure but didn’t want to risk making the first move. Finally Jack’s impulsive nature took over and he lunged at Barry, making a downward slash towards his sword arm. Barry parried, turning Jack’s blade aside. He tried to press his advantage but the blue-haired boy moved to the left at the last possible moment. Jack took the opportunity to attempt to swat Barry’s ass with the flat of his blade but Holmes spun and parried the attack before returning to the “en garde” position.

The crowd let out a few appropriate gasps of awe but didn’t interfere. Jack smirked. He hoped the audience was riveted by their performance long enough for Filly and the others to investigate what they needed. No doubt Jayden was elbows deep in computer guts at the moment or whatever.

Barry kept his face calm and smug, hoping no one suspected he was getting excited. He felt his heartbeat racing as he dueled with Jack. Their swords clashed with each other, the metal ringing as each tried to gain the upper hand. Watson was better than someone who’d been living in the wilds of America should have been. His movements were smooth and calculated, even as precise as Holmes’ own. It was a shame that they had to be so methodical and careful during this duel. Barry wondered what the other boy was truly capable of and hoped he could find out once Akunin’s killer or killers were found. Yes, plural was more likely. He couldn’t imagine his professor taken down by less than two people-

The tip of Jack’s blade whizzed past, almost grazing his ear. Damn, he’d let his attention lapse. He focused his attention as he thought of what his sword master always drilled into him.

Keep your stance wide. Keep your body lowered.

Barry saw Jack grinning at him. Holmes was sure Watson was having fun. So was he.

*****

May whatever Deity exists save her from toxic masculinity and hurt egos.

Irene Adler did not want to spend her evening watching her classmates fight. Not to resolve whatever past slights they still hadn’t gotten over; nor for the honor of a girl who clearly didn’t want or need them to fight for her. That was especially vexing since one of the boys was supposed to be her escort for the evening.

Well, she was a little entertained at first but now she’s  just annoyed and bored. She glanced at the duelists one more time before making up her mind. It was time to go.

She glanced over at Marlowe. He was frowning and looked just as fed up with Founder antics as she was. Shame she got stuck with Barry, Marlowe was just as handsome, almost as witty, and so much more attentive. She’d make up this evening with him some other time. She gently laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right back,” she told him softly and with a smile and a cloud of perfume, she was gone.

*****

Marlowe thought to follow; it wasn’t necessarily a good idea to be walking around alone with so many strangers walking around tonight. There was still a killer on the loose so as much as he hated the cliche there was quite literally safety in numbers.

He turned when a shout and the whoosh of a sabre had him turn back towards the fight. Scanning the scene in front of him, he was sure neither of those two idiots would get seriously hurt.  He took one more glance at the fencers as he made up his mind.

Marlowe scowled after her. She was a pretty little package of trouble and seemed more than capable of taking care of herself under normal circumstances. Then again, nothing about any of them was normal for most people and even their usual weirdness had gone pear-shaped since school began.

With his mind made up, he started walking after her while fiddling with the pocketwatch in his vest.

*****

“Lila? Dear? A word before we shoot this scene if you don’t mind.”

Lila tried to pull herself away from discussing the ballroom scene with a flirty Gio and looked interested. She felt more than a little giddy at the excitement and glamour of wearing a pretty dress and looking beautiful. Marinette had made her dress light and beautiful to move in and she felt a bit more grudging respect for the girl. She might become a world-famous designer and Lila hoped she could repair their relationship. Networking was important in any career and she now realized she’d underestimated Dupain-Cheng for years. She shouldn't have rushed to claim Adrien and instead have been a little more observant of her new classmates. Imagine if she’d befriended Marinette instead! She could have usurped Alya’s “bestie” status and built a relationship with someone truly talented and useful.

She pasted an alert and interested look on her face. “Yes, Miss Amelie? How am I doing so far?” 

She knew her acting was improving when the woman beamed at her in approval. “Excellent! I’m enjoying the way Irene is interacting with Barry. A bit flirtatious but still refusing to be underestimated. Just as you should!”

Amelie squeezed her shoulder and Lila couldn’t help feeling pleased and proud. Finally, some real acknowledgement for something she was good at! She could prove she was talented and wouldn’t have to lie; it gave her a strange feeling of accomplishment.

The woman approached her slowly, even gently. Her brow looked worried and her eyes looked a bit sad. “Now, Lila, I want to discuss a few things with you if you don’t mind.” She almost wrung her hands with worry but stopped herself in time and instead smoothed down her skirt.

Lila nodded. “Of course.” Amelie reminded her of her own mother when she had bad news and wasn’t sure how her daughter would take it. Like when her nonno died or when her parents were going to divorce because her charming father couldn’t keep it in his pants-

She cut off her thoughts before they could wander and gave the hand on her shoulder a pat. “You’ve always made me and everyone on set feel comfortable,” Lila gave her best reassuring smile, “no matter how scary or complicated the scene was.”

You can trust me to do a good job, her smile said and for the first time in a long time, she might have meant it. 

Amelie perked up and Lila felt pleased with herself for cheering up the director. “Thank you, dear. It makes me feel a little better to hear you say that.”

Her usually bright green eyes seemed dimmed and didn’t always meet Lila’s own. Ah. Bad news to impart. “This scene…is a bit different from what you're used to so far.” Amelie moved away from Lila, then turned back towards her. “Irene has been mostly in the background or crowd shots and has had very little to do with the main plot so far.”

Lila tried very hard not to roll her eyes.  “Yes. So…?” She was careful to make her response sound like an open-ended question.

Amelie pursed and then licked her lips. “So, with the ballroom scene and then with…this scene…Irene is front and center, shall we say. She’s involved herself with the main characters and that will lead to…complications,” she finished with an awkward silence.

Lila blinked, sensing the director felt guilty about something and was reluctant to bring it up herself. “So…Irene’s in danger,” she guessed.

The woman looked relieved she wouldn’t have to completely bring it up herself. “Oh yes indeed!” She seemed to regain some of her enthusiasm and dramatic flair. “Irene might have gained Barry’s attention but she also holds the attention of the villains of the piece, as it were. So, in other words…” Amelie spread her hands in front of her as if illustrating her words. “Irene is going to have a conversation with a character, confront their behavior and then…” she searched for an appropriate word. “Be attacked.”

Lila frowned but then nodded. That made narrative sense. “And then what?” She looked around for her tablet. “I don’t remember a lot of lines for this scene.”

Amelie once again looked uncomfortable. “There aren’t any, dear. My late husband only wrote an outline for this scene. I’m sure he meant to go back and flesh it out but…” her eyes began to tear and she seemed at a loss.

Lila did not want shooting delayed because her employer had a crying fit because she missed her dead husband. She grabbed her hand. “I think I understand,” she told Amelie. An idea began to form. “We’re going to start with the bare bones of the scene and then improvise.” She looked at the joy blooming on the woman’s face because she wouldn’t have to explain further. Lila tried to sound humble as she asked. “Am I right?”

Amelie surprised her with a careful hug around the shoulders and Lila surprised herself by not pushing the woman off of her. “Exactly!” She drew away and looked like she wanted to give Lila a cheek kiss but stopped herself in time. “Clever girl! I knew you’d understand!” She pulled away but Lila still felt warmed by her approval.

Amelie walked away and clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Places everyone! Now that the star of the scene is ready,” she gave Lila another approving grin and the girl smiled back, “we can begin. Can someone from makeup give Lila a quick touch-up?” She was already walking away.

Gio sidled up to her and whispered in her ear. “Good luck.”

She winked at him but kept a smile to herself.

She wouldn’t need it.

*****

There were a series of old tunnels that wound their way under the school. They were the subject of their own urban legends. The most plausible were that they had been old smugglers caves back when there was an embargo on French brandy. They were commandeered and used for all sorts of trafficking before finally confiscated and used for escape routes for the faculty and students should organized criminals ever discover the schools’ location. The last known use for them were bomb shelters from World War II. Many lives were no doubt saved by their existence once the Nazi occupied France.

None of that mattered now. All Irene knew was they smell like shit. That wasn’t hyperbole. These tunnels actually smelled as if some drunk or homeless person had taken a steaming dump somewhere before puking on it. As she made her way deeper they began to smell like dusty shit.

She let out a held breath as the air turned stale but at least didn’t smell of waste.  She sensed rather than saw the person waiting for her and tried to look confident and in control.

“You’re late.”

The figure was obscured by the shadows so all she could see was a dim outline. The old tungsten bulbs occasionally caught a glimpse of a pocketwatch. A rather familiar one.

Irene felt a little more confident and she was sure it came out in her voice. She still kept her distance; caution had kept her family not only alive but independent. “Must you keep yourself in darkness?. Do we have to keep having meetings in The Phantom of the Opera’s out house?”

“Are you criticizing my flair for the dramatic?" He took a step towards her, she sidestepped his attempt to approach or intimidate her. “That’s rich, coming from the great-granddaughter of an opera singer.”

She gave him a shrug. “So I know what I’m talking about.”

He didn’t sigh or otherwise seem disgruntled but he did seem ready to get to the point. “Report.”

Report. Like she was a damn soldier. Or a scientist. Or someone who worked for a corporation. Or them.

Irene tried not to make a grunt of distaste or let him know how annoyed he made her. “I’ve laid the groundwork for a friendship with Holmes-”

“And that took you the whole time you’ve been here?”

“I’ve also started a plan to befriend Dupin,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken. She’d learned if she allowed him to interrupt he wouldn’t stop.

“Outside your mission parameters and therefore irrelevant.”

“Dupin has shown to be important to Holmes. Therefore it’s a good idea to befriend her so she’s not an obstacle later.”

“Does anyone suspect you?”

“Of course not.”

He was so quiet she was sure he’d just buggered off and left her standing here like an idiot. He’d done it before. Then he said, “headquarters is…displeased with your lack of progress with the Holmes boy.”

“He’s a direct descendant of the greatest detective on earth,” she argued.

The figure played with the watch again. “He’s a teenage boy. How hard can it be?”

Ah. Here it is. The last of the scripted lines. Time to improvise.

“It’s…more difficult than you think.” She didn’t want to say “hard” in conjunction with a teenager and risk hearing her handler laugh. That would be surreal. “Holmes is nearly as talented as his ancestor was supposed to be. He’d see a cheap seduction trick a kilometer off. It’s better for your long-term plans if I befriend him first. Three months isn’t enough. I need more time.”

“Friends to lovers? Really?”

“These things take careful planning. Plus, alienating another Founder would risk her getting suspicious and start snooping around to help her friend.” She risked a step closer. “I thought secrecy was what you and your assassin’s guild or whatever was aiming for.”

Irene hadn’t interacted much with Felicity, barely at all out of class. Barry’s inner circle was very small. Insulated amidst the founders circle which meant it was difficult to join ranks. She’d mostly been focused on Barry and that made befriending the other girl rather difficult. Felicity was more likeable than Jack or even Barry and she would have enjoyed having another girl to talk to. Perhaps they could giggle over the foibles of their classmates together.

He shifted and there was a click as he closed the pocket watch and put it away. “Feel free to use whatever bullshit excuse you like. It still means you’re not as clever as you think you are.” She could hear the sliding of cloth on cloth as he searched his pockets for something.

This jackass was starting to get on her nerves. “Really? You want to give it a try?” She didn't wait for him to answer and continued. “We’re not just talking about Barry Holmes. He has a lot of support behind him. I’m sure his parents trained him to watch out for fake friends and gold diggers from the time he was in nappies. He is surrounded by layers of security. The whole school is.”  Her patience and interest in this conversation was beginning to wear thin. They had no respect for the nuances of her “mission”.  “Do you have any idea at all how hard it was to get down here in the middle of a ball?” She began to pace in front of him and gestured with her hands as she talked. “I had to wait until two idiots decided to sword fight over a girl just to get down here!”

“And we all appreciate your sacrifice on our behalf, Miss Adler.”

His tone was calm and even but she could tell when she was being mocked and it was starting to piss her off.

This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be what their whole meeting was about. Usually they would give her some additional information about Barrington Holmes that could help her or ask if she’d managed to get a Holmes DNA sample. She really didn’t want to know where they expected her to get DNA from.

He was silent again and she couldn’t stand it. She hated silence unless she was reading. The house she’d grown up in was always noisy and she hadn’t gotten used to the stillness. Their meetings at this point were usually a staring contest until one of them broke.

Irene decided to be the bigger person and walked towards him. “Must you remain in darkness?” She knew she sounded annoyed but thought it was in her best interest to get back to the ballroom in case she was missed. Plus she wanted to know how the duel went.

“Secrecy is necessary.”

Wonderful. More puzzles. She was curious despite herself. And perhaps a little reckless from sneaking champagne with Marlowe. “Tad overdramatic,” she criticized. She gave a little “heh” of laughter. “After all, I know your voice.”

She was feeling bored and restless. It might be fun to see if she could unnerve this guy and see if he would crack.

She heard him take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yes. Shame, isn’t it?” She heard a footstep, then another.

“Tell me, Miss Adler, how many can keep a secret?”

Wait, what?

“In what way?” 

The secret agent bullshit she understood. Planning and strategy was important but secrets? Wasn’t that the entire point of a secret society?

“Well, secrets are kept by obscurity.”

As he explained himself, gloved hands threw a knotted rope around Irene’s neck and began to choke her. She gagged and tried to fight, tugging at the rope, trying to move away from her executor. 

Irene tried to breathe through her nose and pull away from him when he continued.

"Now was it Franklin or Twain? Well, it doesn't matter. The answer I was looking for is: 'two can keep a secret if one of them is dead'."

No! The actress thought desperately. This is my big debut! It can’t be over yet! I have to show them how good I am! Don’t kill my character! I’m still useful.

The silence of the still dim room was only broken by her desperately trying to choke down more air. The hands on the rope were firm and unmoveable.

The fight began to go out of her as it became harder to breath and her oxygen deprived muscles began to fail. She saw darkness begin to crawl into her vision as she lost consciousness.

"Oh do be quick, it's unsightly to be making such noise."

Irene gathered the last of her strength and choked out, “I did everything you told me to!”

Her life couldn’t end like this. She had so many plans. She had to have a failsafe! A recording, pictures, anything! But he’d always insisted on leaving electronic devices at home. No witnesses.

No evidence.

"Yes, and your usefulness has been retired.” The last sound she heard was him taking out his pocket watch. No doubt to make sure her untimely death didn’t interfere with his schedule.  “

“Well…good evening, Miss Adler."

He waited until the hideous death throes had subsided and looked at her face. There were only light ligature marks  on her throat and a few bruises beginning to mottle her neck. One olive green eye was red with broken blood vessels. Her lips were swollen and soon her tongue would be too. He was rather proud he’d murdered her without denying the girl an open casket funeral.

Her death was a loss, true but she was only a pawn, a mundane little mouse easily disposed of. No need to risk damaging a historic building with a ricocheting bullet and blood would have been difficult to explain.

Besides, she wasn’t the only Adler.

*****

“And…cut!” Amelie called out as the crew broke out into polite applause while her scene partner wandered off to the craft table. The blonde woman clasped her hands in front of her and smiled at the still shell-shocked Lila. “Wonderful action, perfect improv!”

Lila fought off the urge to wipe the special effects makeup off her face and throat. A makeup assistant touched her arm gently and told her to follow him to get the special contacts removed.

She turned to look at Amelie, who looked sympathetic but dismissive. She had gotten the performance she had wanted and was therefore done with Lila.

Amelie nodded in agreement at what the assistant had said then smiled gently. “We’ll talk more in a bit, dear.”

*****

Once they were away from Amelie the assistant became…well, not hostile but more or less ignored Lila until they got to the makeup area. Lila actually wasn’t insulted because she was still too stunned by the fact Irene Adler, the character she was sure had a small but important role in the movie’s plot, was quietly killed off with no fanfare and very few lines.

She wasn’t so out of it she didn’t notice the way people were looking at her. She was used to the crew treating her with barely contained hostility for weeks. She was sure Allegra or Claude had told everyone how she’d acted at her audition and the people who’d worked at the studio longer were protective of their clique. No one seemed angry; one or two almost looked like they were pitying her but most people just seemed indifferent.

Lila prided herself on her ability to read people. It was what made her such a consistently successful liar. No one bothered to look her in the eye and barely stared at her. The vibe wasn’t hostility, it was…indifference. It reminded her of when someone who’d worked with her mother had been dismissed. The woman wasn’t hated but wasn’t liked either. She was gone and no one cared. She wouldn’t be missed and had made no impact on her supervisor or coworkers.

That’s how everyone was treating her right now. She didn’t matter because she was playing a tiny part and they’d never liked her anyway. No one but herself and perhaps Amelie or Gio had thought she mattered.

She allowed her shoulder to slump as she trudged her way into the makeup chair. She barely noticed when the assistant removed her makeup with all the impersonal efficiency of a dental hygienist cleaning her teeth. Once done she pointed Lila towards the hair stylist who removed the accessories and clipped in hair extensions they’d placed to make her tresses look fuller.

No one had to tell her the Wardrobe Department would want her dress back. Their dress. She supposed there was no way she could keep it now.

The person who helped her change was only a few years older than she was. She was also much warmer to her than anyone other than Gio or her fellow “villains.”

The girl’s warm brown eyes lit up when she saw Lila and the older girl smiled down at her. “Oi! Aren’t you playing Irene Adler?” She looked Lila over without waiting for an answer. “That dress looks great on you. I loved your death scene.” She unhooked the frog enclosures at the back of the dress and kept talking in a steady stream. “You were so good!” The way you reacted? So realistic! I honestly believed you were being murdered.”

“I’m glad my acting was so convincing.” Lila did her best to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. She was sure she failed yet couldn’t bring herself to care what some nobody in the Wardrobe Department thought of her.

The other person didn’t seem to notice as she helped Lila out of her costume and back into her regular clothes. “I know this was a small part, but you have potential.”

Lila paused before grabbing her locker key from her pants pocket. “Oh?”

Her new admirer nodded so enthusiastically her hair obscured her face, giving her the appearance of a teenaged sheepdog. “You’re joking, right?” She held her hands to her chest and sighed dramatically. “Irene hasn’t had a lot of scenes but I like how you play her as smart but a bit playful. She’s not awed by all these famous families. She’d make a good match for Barry Holmes just as much as Felicity Dupin. At least I think so.”

Lila smiled, feeling appreciated. “That’s exactly how I was trying to play her!”

The new friend (she should learn her name) laughed and Lila felt a rush of warm companionship. Someone who had no reason to lie or cosy up to her liked her acting!  She rather liked having a possible ally among the crew. She hoped this meant they were warming up to her or at least respected her as a professional.

The older girl patted her on the shoulder. “Off you trot. Make sure you clear it with Miss Amelie or her team before you go home. They might need to reschedule you for reshoots.”

Lila paused, seizing on the word like a lifeline. “Reshoots?”

New Friend smiled. “Oh, yes!” She went on to explain. “Sometimes a scene isn’t always right in post. Lighting or sound might be off, so they have to call in the actors later to redo the scene or re-record lines that are dubbed into the scene.” Her nod was that of a seasoned veteran. “Happens all the time, even with the best, most seasoned actors or crew.”

Lila smiled. Reshoots. Additional chances to impress Amelie and show what she could actually do. Perhaps Mme. Graham de Vanily would introduce her to some of her casting director friends or producers.

This was neither the end of Irene Adler nor Lila Rossi. She could work with this.

“Well,” she said with an artful chuckle, “maybe I’ll see you then…” she trailed off as she waited for the other girl to introduce herself.

She grinned as she caught her meaning. “The name’s Lucille, but everyone calls me Lucy.”

“Lucy,” Lila tilted her head. “I like it.”

“So do I.”

*****

The two girls said their goodbyes and Lila wound her way through the labyrinthian halls towards the green room. This part of the set had no cell reception for security reasons so she would have to make her way near the lobby to call her mom for a ride home. She was feeling cheerful and much more optimistic than she was an hour ago.  Now that she had hope, she could plan her way forward. Gio was a wonderful acting coach and while Marinette still didn’t like or trust her, she was still worth cultivating.

Mylene was a better actress than she’d given her credit for in college so it would be good to stay on friendly terms with her. Plus she and Ivan weren’t all that bad to be around now that they’d all grown up a little. It didn’t hurt that he was a talented musician once he got away from the death metal he loved so much.

Now the real problem was getting the rest of the main cast on her side. Or hate her less.

Luka, although handsome, was too raggedy to be her type. And she didn’t want to alienate Marinette. He would probably go along with whatever his talented crush wanted so staying on the designer’s good side was a priority.

Felix always seemed to see through almost everyone so he wouldn’t buy it if she suddenly wanted to make nice, even if Lila had his mother’s approval. She’d have to settle for a professional truce.

She could ignore Claude but Allan and Allegra were her real obstacles.

Allan was repulsed by her and his blonde bodyguard hated her guts. If she thought a “heartfelt” apology would have worked on either of them she would have tried it already. They seemed unmoved by her attempts to be friendly but professional when they were on-set together (she’d complained at length to Gio). Allan avoided her when possible and Allegra wanted her deported, dead, or both. She’d give it some thought but for now she’d settle for being distant but polite. Maybe she’d avoid mentioning them in interviews unless asked directly. Then she could be vaguely complimentary towards their acting skills and she’d “learned so much from them”. She would just have to avoid giving them any more ammunition until the premiere.

So now she had an inkling of a plan, enough to build on later. That always made her feel better. All she had to do now was to wait patiently, even if it required her to...ugh stay in the background.

Gio had given his personal number so she was sure she could stay in touch and wheedle information on how the shoot was going. He was more forthcoming with information than Mylene allowed herself to be and was, no offense meant, a lot more fun.

All Lila had to do was hold off on enacting any plans and observe. She was good at that. She could be patient if it meant more opportunities for a better life that didn’t depend on no one discovering her lies or relying on others for fame and profit.

I can become Europe’s favorite actress.

With such optimistic thoughts in mind she almost missed two people talking about her until she heard her name.

“Aunt Amelie told me Lila did very well in her last scene. She might have talent after all.”

The fact the woman had complimented her behind her back made Lila feel a bit flattered. Also impressed, because saying nice things when couldn’t possibly benefit the woman was not an action Lila was used to. Enlightened self-interest, perhaps?

She didn’t stop walking but she didn’t stop eavesdropping either.

“That doesn’t make up for-”

“Never said-”

Lila had to stop herself from inching closer. She knew those voices. It was Allegra and Claude. Well, think of the devil…

“You won’t have to see her again unless there’s reshoots.”

“I know.”

“Oh, hey I heard Felix say he planned to-”

Whatever Felix had said was lost to a sudden and very loud dispenser. So that death scene was her last. She wasn’t surprised but what was he planning? To cut the scene?

Claude said her name again and Allegra laughed. It was sharp and derisive and ultimately dismissive.

“She hardly matters.”

“He might be wasting his time.”

“Better off not-” “Without her-” “Glad she’ll be gone soon.”

Anything else they might have said was drowned out by the roaring in her ears as the tiny scrap of hope she was holding was obliterated as rage took over. Okay, fine! She’d fucked up and made her life and their jobs more difficult! She’d worked hard, learned her lines, didn’t cause problems and contributed to the future success of the film. She earned the right to be treated like a colleague.

But I behaved.

Her inner voice sounded like a whiny child whose parents were separating because of her mother’s career and she tossed it back into her subconscious.

Any good feelings she felt towards anyone in the cast and crew were gone. No doubt all of them were in on whatever Felix was planning. They all stuck together and no newcomer could join their little club except for Marinette Goddamn Cheng for some reason.

Lila was convinced the other girl had been laughing at her the whole time she was designing that beautiful dress for her. Some kind of consolation prize because the future designer had won everyone over with her perfect little nice girl routine and it looked better if she appeared magnanimous.

She wondered if they’d all been laughing at her this whole time. Even Gio.

She quickened her pace and then stopped when she thought she was far enough away from the two that she couldn’t be caught eavesdropping. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing her eyes and deliberately unclenching her fists.

A new plan began to form; a terrible one that would require all her newly acquired acting skills and knowledge about costuming and makeup design.