Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bay in The Mummy Returns (2001)
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Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bay in The Mummy Returns (2001)

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the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy is presents a romance-style female-focused fantasy adventure, which is rare for blockbuster movies.
 - you are Keira Knightley, the high-spirited and ever so slightly spoiled child of a doting father who happens to be the governor
 - every man in the world is crazy about you, from the dashing naval officer who asks for your hand in marriage to the handsome young blacksmithâs apprentice who you met as a child and feel a strong bond with to the devilish pirate lord who saves your life and flirts with you shamelessly and you make out with him once but itâs for a good cause
 - you have two weddings, one where you femme it up and then it turns all emo when it rains on your wedding day and the groom is dragged off in chains by another guy who secretly has the hots for you and then you have a second wedding where you dress as a man because youâre the pirate king now and you exchange custom vows and witty banter during a sword fight with zombies
 - you are Keira Knightley
- all three of your potential love interests end up on the same ship at one point they have a lot of tension between them but they donât fight because you told them not to
- a random pirate you knew for half an hour names you his heir and now you command one of the biggest and most important fleets in the sea
- not only that but you became the Queen of all pirates who now obey you and are at your command. You use your powers to destroy the fleet of the East India Company
- thereâs a kraken
Iâm sorry, KING of all Pirates, please.
Poor thing, she's dying from cringe đ
I can't leave comments because of some network error
On the ecology of 'ethical' vampires
A few days ago I was privileged to be part of a wonderfully unhinged conversation about the ecological impact of vampires who exclusively hunt animals for blood. Afterwards I thought to myself, what better audience for such a discussion than tumblr?
Shared with permission from the amazing @puddlebrigade (who intends to write a related short story), @somefishycat, @nonbinary-octopus, and all other participants.
(It got rather long, so I'm putting the rest under a cut:)
It has been remarked by some that hobbits' only real passion is for food. A rather unfair observation, as we have also developed a keen interest in the brewing of ales and the smoking of pipeweed. But where our hearts truly lie is in peace, and quiet, and good tilled earth â for all hobbits share a love of things that grow.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The Power of Leverage
Hey, so many of you are familiar with fix-it fanfiction, the superglue which holds together the hearts canon has shattered, right? Well, I have a point to make. As of right now (1-28-2020), there are 6,659 fanfictions in the Leverage category on AO3. You know how many of those are fix-it fics? 25. A measly 0.38% of Leverage fanfiction is tagged as fix-it. For comparison, 2.20% of MCU fanfiction and 1.25% of Supernatural fanfiction are fix-its.
So yeah, Leverage is so amazing that hardly anything needs to be fixed. But we already knew that. No, it gets better. Of those 25 fix-it fanfictions, 16 (64%) of them are actually fix-its for OTHER fandoms. Leverage has been used in fix-its for White Collar, The Walking Dead, Coupling (UK), The Flash, DCâs Legends of Tomorrow, Kings, Person of Interest, Pacific Rim, Once Upon a Time, The Losers, Merlin, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the actual 2016 US election (yeah, that).
The point here, being, not only is Leverageâs own canon one of the most perfect to grace television, it is so brilliant that it can literally bust in and fix everyone elseâs canon as well.
The bit about fixing other fandoms literally made me laugh out loud. Maybe more of a cackle. I love this show so much
Parker: *to the heartbroken or otherwise traumatised characters of other franchises* You are suffering under a tremendous weight. We provide⌠leverage.
Eliot busting in to fix your canon
Hey, so, I re-ran the numbers and as of 4am on 6/9/26:
In the Leverage (US TV 2008) fandom only (so not including US TV 2008 & Related Fandoms or Redemption) there are currently 12,309 fics. (Nearly double Jan 2020, go us).
Filtering for âFix-itâ brings us down to 85 or 0.69% (noice).
Excluding Crossovers puts us down to 27 fics total. That means that out of the 85 fix-its, only 32% are to fix the Leverage Canon itself and out of all 12k Leverage fics, only 0.22% are to fix Leverage Canon itself.
Meanwhile, Supernatural is sitting at 8,657/320,089 or 2.70% and the MCU is 13,675/635,920 or 2.15%.
And thatâs me being generous by Excluding Crossovers. Iâm willing to bet a bunch of those Crossovers in both are other fandoms coming in to fix the Supernatural and MCU canons. Almost certainly the more than in the Leverage + Crossover fics. Someone whoâs better at tag filtering or has a longer attention span than me can sift through all 3k-ish fics with Crossovers to get the exact numbers! đ
If/when Shopkeeper and Sylvia ever meet, instead of some showdown, weâll get this:
Shopkeeper: So, er, Yor and your guy. Are theyâŚ
Sylvia: Oh most definitely. We have an office pool betting on how long until one of them realises. Thereâs another one an informantâs running on whoâs going to confesses first. Do you want to join?
Shopkeeper: 3 months? Itâd be wedding season then.
loid picking out matching family outfits under the guise of âit makes us look like a more unified, loving householdâ when he actually just likes matching with his girls
This has been said a bunch of times but my personal hc is that Loid is absolutely spoiling his girls rotten.
Yor is very frugal and before meeting Loid, she only had a few clothes for work and her black dress to kill people in. But as the manga progresses we see her in beautiful and different outfits a lot more.
Anya lived in an orphanage so the only clothes she must've had were literally the ones on her back when Loid adopted her. In the manga (for now) she has so many cute outfits she seems to enjoy wearing.
Love that for them.
WISE going bankrupt in real time thanks to cute outfits for one of their agent's families
stopppppp im going to pass away just thinking abt this
#what a way to discover you have a priase kink
When I got my first tattoo I told my rather beautiful tattoo artist that I refused to be a wuss and she said âOh dont worry, if you squirm I will pin you down.â
And that lives in my head rent free.
âWhat is it with queer people and tattoos?â
Something something intricate rituals

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
spent an hour making these instead of writing
me @ the first one on this post:
pats and hugs for the goodest doggo
seven mimir
The Power of Leverage
Hey, so many of you are familiar with fix-it fanfiction, the superglue which holds together the hearts canon has shattered, right? Well, I have a point to make. As of right now (1-28-2020), there are 6,659 fanfictions in the Leverage category on AO3. You know how many of those are fix-it fics? 25. A measly 0.38% of Leverage fanfiction is tagged as fix-it. For comparison, 2.20% of MCU fanfiction and 1.25% of Supernatural fanfiction are fix-its.
So yeah, Leverage is so amazing that hardly anything needs to be fixed. But we already knew that. No, it gets better. Of those 25 fix-it fanfictions, 16 (64%) of them are actually fix-its for OTHER fandoms. Leverage has been used in fix-its for White Collar, The Walking Dead, Coupling (UK), The Flash, DCâs Legends of Tomorrow, Kings, Person of Interest, Pacific Rim, Once Upon a Time, The Losers, Merlin, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the actual 2016 US election (yeah, that).
The point here, being, not only is Leverageâs own canon one of the most perfect to grace television, it is so brilliant that it can literally bust in and fix everyone elseâs canon as well.
The bit about fixing other fandoms literally made me laugh out loud. Maybe more of a cackle. I love this show so much
Parker: *to the heartbroken or otherwise traumatised characters of other franchises* You are suffering under a tremendous weight. We provide⌠leverage.
Eliot busting in to fix your canon
Even when people have Alzheimerâs or dementia they donât ever lose their humanity. My grandma had really bad Alzheimerâs in the end and even though she didnât know any of her family anymore she was so kind and gentle with my baby nephew. It means something, I think, that caring for others is so ingrained in our psyche that not even disease could make us lose thatďżź
One of the most profound moments of my life was when I was walking with one of the Alzheimer patients through the gardens at the assisted living home I worked at a few years ago. He was a scientist, he was from out west. He'd done foundational research on the aftermath of the Mount St. Helens eruption. He looked up at one of the pine trees and misidentified it, thinking it was a California pine tree (yeah, apparently there are east coast/west coast variants) and as we got closer, he sort of frowned and said, "No, that's <insert scientific name here>." And he looked at me and asked, "Wait, am I in the South?" And he looked so confused and scared and I nodded and said, "Yeah, you moved here a couple years ago." And his face got all serious and he didn't say anything else for a minute. I could see the panic and the dread and the embarrassment starting to rise.
So I asked him about the plants, about their scientific names, about what role they played in the ecosystem, what the shape of their leaves said about their evolution, what kind of bugs lived on them, whether or not small animals made nests and homes in them. And he just talked and talked, told me everything I wanted to know.
If he forgot something, he didn't get embarrassed because he was just thinking about some old plants, just some old plants, who can keep track of all those latin names anyway? He'd think of it later.
And it didn't teach me to "respect everyone no matter their mental ability," and it didn't make me realize that "all people deserve respect," because I was already there, I already believed that. But, as he started smiling, telling me all he knew, rolling his eyes when I didn't understand something, thinking carefully about how to explain in lay-terms, as the stress and fear that threatened to crush him evaporated as quickly as it appeared, I received an absolutely critical life lesson like a ten-ton epiphany:
We were made to help each other.
As cheesy as it sounds, the absolute true meaning of life, outside of religious beliefs, scientific theories, political movements, outside of all of it, the only thing that matters at all is whether or not you made a real, tangible difference for the better in someone's life. Big or small. Permanent or brief.
Make a difference, be the change you want to see in the world; it doesn't make you Gandhi, but it might help someone have a better day, and isn't that nice?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This may seem like an exaggeration, the idea that one can learn how to properly think like a criminal by learning how crime stories work. On a personal note, let me tell a story from the Leverage writerâs room.
Apollo Robbins (http://www.istealstuff.com/) runs a crew of professional thieves who consult for law enforcement. He was also our criminal consultant on Leverage. Every few weeks he would visit the writerâs room to advise on the scripts and keep us up to date about new cons and the latest in criminal technology.
One day during the third season he sat in with the writers while we broke a story. We posted the details of a real-life white collar criminal up on the roomâs whiteboard, using him as the basis for our Mark. We looked at his weaknesses, how he moved his money, what his hobbies were. Once we were happy with that element of the story we added a Vault to the mix, one that used an interesting new alarm technology weâd researched. We then spent about an hour figuring out how to circumvent that alarm. We even sketched out a map of the imaginary building so we could keep track of our Crewâs movements during the Job.
âWell, Iâm done here,â Apollo muttered. Noting our confusion, he pointed at the board and index cards cluttering the wall. âThis is exactly how real Crews plan these things. This writerâs room is now a fully functioning criminal gang. You could be thieves.â
Of course writing television pays better than crime (usually), with far less chance of being arrested (usually), so we all managed to resist the temptation. But aside from the day a US Attorney asked us to change a plot because weâd created a scam that was a little too foolproof, or when a Homeland Security Agent admitted they were spooked by a security hole weâd exploited in our season finale, it was certainly one of the proudest moments I had on the show.
Source: âCrimeWorldâ by John Rogers in Fate Worlds Volume Two: Worlds in Shadow. Evil Hat Productions, 2013: 20.
@ fic authors what do you personally consider a successful fic? Whatâs the bar?
actually writing the fic down