Today's Document

Janaina Medeiros

romaā

Origami Around

Discoholic šŖ©

blake kathryn

if i look back, i am lost
Not today Justin
todays bird
YOU ARE THE REASON
cherry valley forever
Monterey Bay Aquarium
occasionally subtle

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor

PR's Tumblrdome
Keni

ellievsbear
noise dept.
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
seen from Germany
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from Argentina

seen from France

seen from T1
seen from France
seen from Netherlands
seen from Iraq

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@ghost-slut18

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Graweedy Falls
literally have had this queued for a year
In honor of the holiday
Yāall gonna just forget Nichijoint like that?
This is the only obnoxious weed joke post Iāll post all 4/20 but some of these are legitimately funny
Queued for a whole year cunts, greetings from 2019
Dedication
say hello to Papaya
I dont think I've ever seen more Bernie pics than I did today and it's the one pic over and over and over again
I think this one's my favorite
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal Iāve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jonesās Whatās New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.Ā
Hereās the thing about when, uh, Whatās New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not āhey someoneās playing Whatās New Pussycat again.ā Itās āhey, Whatās New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays youāre thinking maybe someoneās playing Whatās New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays youāre either thinking āwhoa someone just played Whatās New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and itās a really long song.ā So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?Ā
Now, John and I weāre watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to whatās going on. And weāre staring at this one guy and heās sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and heās like staring at his coffee cup like this, and heās been onto us since the beginning. And heās sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And heās staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. Itās dead quiet. Then, I donāt know if you know this, but the song begins very quietlyā¦
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHATāS NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and Iām punching in the Whatās New Pussycats alright? Iāve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me āhey hey hey before you punch in another Whatās New Pussycat letās drop in one Itās Not Unusual.ā
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven Whatās New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, ITāS NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jonesās Itās Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven Whatās New Pussycats. Itās true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. Itās Not Unusual fade out. Itās dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHATāS NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like āyup some crap as always.āĀ
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and itās still forever hilarious omg

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AAH
instagram story by mikeyway
[Jan 22, 2021]
when ur father takes u into the city to see a marching band but instead all u see is an inauguration lmao
someone send some asks telling me abt tumblr news since i took a random ass break out of nowhere pls and thank u
Hajime: [lawyer voice] the prosecution makes a compelling argument, but have you considered this *puts middle finger up*

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I dont think I've ever seen more Bernie pics than I did today and it's the one pic over and over and over again
I think this one's my favorite
lmao yall thought u seen the last of me
anyways my new interests are homestuck and danganronpa pls dont kill me lol
lmao yall thought u seen the last of me
theresĀ āi ship rare pairsā and then theresĀ āi would rather ship a boy and a girl who have barely ever spoken in canon than ship two girls or two boys who are constantly there for each other and very emotionally closeā and theresĀ āi would rather ship two white boys who have barely ever spoken in canon than ship a white boy with a girl of color because i refuse to relate to her and i fetishize mlm relationshipsā etc
Fun fact: Dolly Parton is not blonde. All her blonde dos are wigs. When she goes out with her husband, because he doesnāt want to be in the public eye, she has her real hair and wears more typical middle aged southern lady outfits and people justā¦. Donāt recognise her. She just Clark Kents her way into maintaining a private life.
Sheās the real life Hannah Montanaļæ¼
Wasnāt she Hannah Montanaās aunt š?
I have to add some details because their story is pretty cute
At 18 Dolly moved to Nashville. The very first day she was there she met a guy outside the Wishy Washy Laundromat. Her husband, Carl Dean, has said āMy first thought was Iām gonna marry that girl. My second thought was, āLord sheās good lookin.ā"Ā
After 2 years of dating they wanted to get married but her record label said no because women are more profitable if theyāre single. They eloped at a little church before the label could stop them and put off their honeymoon so Dolly could focus on work
In 1966 Carl accompanied her to a dinner/awards ceremony, it was his first time going to an industry event. After the dinner he said to his wife āDolly, I want you to have everything you want, and Iām happy for you, but donāt you ever ask me to go to another one of them dang things again!āā And she never did
He lives a quiet life in Nashville and runs an asphalt business
For their 50th anniversary they renewed their vows at their home in front of family and friends, it was the wedding theyād wanted but couldnāt have when they first got married
I know the tweet is supposed to be some kind of āhaha men badā but honestly heās the goals there. You have a great and super rich wife and no one ever bothers you

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in case you were wondering as of november 10 you have to go to page 54 of the supernatural tag on ao3 until you see fics that were published before november 5
someone has written one where dean owns the four seasons total landscaping and castiel works at the sex shop
After seeing the dad how do I channel, I really wanted this one. I searched for it and, tada! Mom how do I? Seems rather new, but I love it anyway.
This is such a cute and helpful idea, especially since some people either didnāt grow up with someone who could teach them this stuff or they grew up with parents who did everything for them. I knew a lot of guys in college who didnāt know how to do laundry or cook!
Mom How Do I
Dad How Do I