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Graweedy Falls
literally have had this queued for a year
In honor of the holiday
Yâall gonna just forget Nichijoint like that?
This is the only obnoxious weed joke post Iâll post all 4/20 but some of these are legitimately funny
Queued for a whole year cunts, greetings from 2019
Dedication
say hello to Papaya
I dont think I've ever seen more Bernie pics than I did today and it's the one pic over and over and over again
I think this one's my favorite
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal Iâve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jonesâs Whatâs New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.Â
Hereâs the thing about when, uh, Whatâs New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not âhey someoneâs playing Whatâs New Pussycat again.â Itâs âhey, Whatâs New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays youâre thinking maybe someoneâs playing Whatâs New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays youâre either thinking âwhoa someone just played Whatâs New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and itâs a really long song.â So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?Â
Now, John and I weâre watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to whatâs going on. And weâre staring at this one guy and heâs sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and heâs like staring at his coffee cup like this, and heâs been onto us since the beginning. And heâs sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And heâs staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. Itâs dead quiet. Then, I donât know if you know this, but the song begins very quietlyâŚ
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHATâS NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and Iâm punching in the Whatâs New Pussycats alright? Iâve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me âhey hey hey before you punch in another Whatâs New Pussycat letâs drop in one Itâs Not Unusual.â
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven Whatâs New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, ITâS NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jonesâs Itâs Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven Whatâs New Pussycats. Itâs true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. Itâs Not Unusual fade out. Itâs dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHATâS NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like âyup some crap as always.âÂ
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and itâs still forever hilarious omg

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AAH
instagram story by mikeyway
[Jan 22, 2021]
when ur father takes u into the city to see a marching band but instead all u see is an inauguration lmao
someone send some asks telling me abt tumblr news since i took a random ass break out of nowhere pls and thank u
Hajime: [lawyer voice] the prosecution makes a compelling argument, but have you considered this *puts middle finger up*

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I dont think I've ever seen more Bernie pics than I did today and it's the one pic over and over and over again
I think this one's my favorite
lmao yall thought u seen the last of me
anyways my new interests are homestuck and danganronpa pls dont kill me lol
lmao yall thought u seen the last of me
theres âi ship rare pairsâ and then theres âi would rather ship a boy and a girl who have barely ever spoken in canon than ship two girls or two boys who are constantly there for each other and very emotionally closeâ and theres âi would rather ship two white boys who have barely ever spoken in canon than ship a white boy with a girl of color because i refuse to relate to her and i fetishize mlm relationshipsâ etc
Fun fact: Dolly Parton is not blonde. All her blonde dos are wigs. When she goes out with her husband, because he doesnât want to be in the public eye, she has her real hair and wears more typical middle aged southern lady outfits and people justâŚ. Donât recognise her. She just Clark Kents her way into maintaining a private life.
Sheâs the real life Hannah Montanaďżź
Wasnât she Hannah Montanaâs aunt đ?
I have to add some details because their story is pretty cute
At 18 Dolly moved to Nashville. The very first day she was there she met a guy outside the Wishy Washy Laundromat. Her husband, Carl Dean, has said âMy first thought was Iâm gonna marry that girl. My second thought was, âLord sheâs good lookin.â"Â
After 2 years of dating they wanted to get married but her record label said no because women are more profitable if theyâre single. They eloped at a little church before the label could stop them and put off their honeymoon so Dolly could focus on work
In 1966 Carl accompanied her to a dinner/awards ceremony, it was his first time going to an industry event. After the dinner he said to his wife âDolly, I want you to have everything you want, and Iâm happy for you, but donât you ever ask me to go to another one of them dang things again!ââ And she never did
He lives a quiet life in Nashville and runs an asphalt business
For their 50th anniversary they renewed their vows at their home in front of family and friends, it was the wedding theyâd wanted but couldnât have when they first got married
I know the tweet is supposed to be some kind of âhaha men badâ but honestly heâs the goals there. You have a great and super rich wife and no one ever bothers you

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in case you were wondering as of november 10 you have to go to page 54 of the supernatural tag on ao3 until you see fics that were published before november 5
someone has written one where dean owns the four seasons total landscaping and castiel works at the sex shop
After seeing the dad how do I channel, I really wanted this one. I searched for it and, tada! Mom how do I? Seems rather new, but I love it anyway.
This is such a cute and helpful idea, especially since some people either didnât grow up with someone who could teach them this stuff or they grew up with parents who did everything for them. I knew a lot of guys in college who didnât know how to do laundry or cook!
Mom How Do I
Dad How Do I