Tohe

Combine fake games with the fantasy of being able to get a sticker off in one piece (and remove the residue!) and I'm in! I finally get the appeal of these type of games.

I love pinball, but digital versions are very hit-or-miss, mostly when they try to recreate the physical tables instead of adapting them for digital, like thinking about the shape of the screen a player has.

This one, the pinball mechanics are just part of the game, and are implemented really nicely! It feels really good, with a weighty ball and nice physics. The tables could use some more variety, but it's in early access, so that'll come.

The Roguelike part layers on top well too. You're in a mine with a cannon, against a bunch of nasties. You alternate between playing pinball and firing your cannon, with the points you scored on the pinball field becoming the damage you can do with the cannon. There's a bunch of modifiers and the normal roguelike stuff that you collect, in a pretty rapid and satisfying way.

The pinballs are cannonballs and vice-versa, so you get a big variety of effects, some which affect the pinball side and some the shooting side more. Having only played it through once, I'm not sure if you've got enough control to build big combos across your whole "hand" of cannonballs, because the order you get to use them in is random. But adjusting to the different effects of each and maximising your score/damage with them is really cool.

It's from the same devs as Umurangi Generations, another very good game that's hard to talk about.

I think they're games to experience, as the loose, self-directed way that you experience their worlds is part of the story.

In this one, you're a penguin. You get to slide around the ice and snow in a really fun way. And then you run into humans, who are straight out of Lovecraft's stories. Like, directly. This game is a re-imagining of Lovecraft. However I don't think it's a horror game. Because you're a penguin.

Combine fake games with the fantasy of being able to get a sticker off in one piece (and remove the residue!) and I'm in! I finally get the appeal of these type of games.

I love pinball, but digital versions are very hit-or-miss, mostly when they try to recreate the physical tables instead of adapting them for digital, like thinking about the shape of the screen a player has.

This one, the pinball mechanics are just part of the game, and are implemented really nicely! It feels really good, with a weighty ball and nice physics. The tables could use some more variety, but it's in early access, so that'll come.

The Roguelike part layers on top well too. You're in a mine with a cannon, against a bunch of nasties. You alternate between playing pinball and firing your cannon, with the points you scored on the pinball field becoming the damage you can do with the cannon. There's a bunch of modifiers and the normal roguelike stuff that you collect, in a pretty rapid and satisfying way.

The pinballs are cannonballs and vice-versa, so you get a big variety of effects, some which affect the pinball side and some the shooting side more. Having only played it through once, I'm not sure if you've got enough control to build big combos across your whole "hand" of cannonballs, because the order you get to use them in is random. But adjusting to the different effects of each and maximising your score/damage with them is really cool.

Combine fake games with the fantasy of being able to get a sticker off in one piece (and remove the residue!) and I'm in! I finally get the appeal of these type of games.

I realize now that it was a book about me dealing with depression before I even knew it. Looking back at how blatant the projecting was, it’s obvious now. It wasn’t then.

In the story, the middle-generation people are lost. They’re apathetic. They’re just a placeholder. The only job they have is to keep the ship running, have kids, and die. As the middle generation of people began becoming adults, suicide rates were skyrocketing. Crime and drug rates were jumping. This generation was completely apathetic because they felt that they had no use.

In the story, a small group of people in the middle-generation create the Weather Project. They turn the ship into a terrarium. They make magnificent gardens and take the DNA of animals they took with them and recreate them and they make this cold, metal spaceship that they have to live their entire lives on into a home. They take what little they have and they break it and rearrange it into something beautiful. They take this radical idea and turn the ship into a wonderful jungle of trees and birds and sunshine.

And I realize now how much it reflects my state of mind as I transitioned from a child into an adult while dealing with depression. You always hear “it gets better” and “when you’re older things will be easier” and I was so sick of waiting for it to get better. I was in the middle-generation stage. And I was sick of it. I was so sick of waiting.

When I was in highschool I didn’t know how to end the story. I didn’t know how to have a happy ending. I didn’t have the life experience then to finish the story in a meaningful way. I didn’t know how to make it better for these middle-generation characters.

But now that I’m older, I’m learning. That if you sit and wait for things to get better, it never will. You have to take your life and break it apart and rearrange it into something beautiful. You have to make the cold metal ship into the garden that you deserve. You have to make your own meaning. You have to plant your own garden.

its okay to have stagnant periods, all life has periods of time in its life cycle just to exist and conserve energy and its okay for people to do that too.

like why is the park locked after 5pm so I can't go and sit under a tree after work? to punish rough sleepers for the terrible crime of being homeless and alive

why do I have to buy a drink, beg for a code and fuck around with an awkward keypad for 5 minutes in order to take a piss? because fuck homeless people

why do I need to provide proof of address and photo ID to do everything? because we had to create a really hostile environment for migrants

why can't you sit anywhere? well because god forbid people sleep when they're pushed out of shelter. can't risk that.

Just- not for the reasons you may think.

There was a service dog team boarding the plane ahead of us. Normally I just give the usual ~6-10ft of space so we aren't crowding two dogs right next to each other when they need to work- but I noticed something. Her dog was fairly young, and while he was behaving he kept stopping to look behind so he could see us. She, however, didn't look around at all, just asked him what the problem was and to move forward. To which he complied, but then would stop and look at us again after a couple steps.

I called out that I was behind her with a service dog of my own, and that her dog was behaving but definitely distracted by mine, so if she would like I could give them more space. Initially she tried to say no, that wasn't necessary- but then her dog stopped to turn around again. She said that he was new, and that she hadn't expected him to be so unnerved by another dog.

We were the first two to board with a long line of people behind us. I told her no worries, take the time she needs, the plane won't leave without us and we're boarding with plenty of time to spare. That I noticed she didn't look around when her dog turned and recognized the style of harness and assumed she had a vision related disability and wanted to let her know what he was struggling with so she could adjust. That I would keep my distance so he could properly guide her onto the plane. I asked the people behind me to give us a moment so she could board safely. Everyone agreed to it- surprising at 5am and especially because the family immediately behind me had young children I could hear them teaching about what service dogs are- and equally called encouragements for her to go at her own pace.

She said as she walked with more confidence now that her dog was focused again, that she actually had no vision whatsoever and had just been placed with this dog to assist her via an organization.

She was able to board without further interruptions and then I let her know when I walked by her so she could make sure she understood her dog's reaction to mine. She thanked me for that, and for the assistance with boarding.

I waited until she was off the plane to gather my dog and my things.

But I wanted to talk about privilege- you see, while we both have a disability, mine affects me overall far less. It's a 100% fact that with testosterone, I barely have need for a service dog at all, and only bring one as a "just in case", similar to the cane I keep in my car that I haven't touched in a year. This woman is completely blind- her disability affects her in a much more immediate and drastic way.

As a more seasoned handler and team, I have more confidence to demand accessibility considerations. As a man, I'm more readily listened to. As someone with a large, dark colored dog- I even have the mythical "scary dog privilege" where her cute and friendly waggy lab might not. So when I say, give this lady space for her dog to do his job, as someone with a clearly marked, well behaved dog who can see what the problem is, those behind me stopped dead in their tracks and listened.

This is a social privilege in action. As a confident, cis-male-presenting, sighted person with a well behaved dog, this nervous blind woman struggling with her dog needed someone in her corner to advocate for her while she figured out what she needed to do to get her dog back on track.

My privilege over her in this moment is not an example of oppression. It could have been- had I not realized the issue and taken action to help, had I pushed past her, had I started heckling her about her dog's behavior or her own handling. But it is something that I don't need to consider in my everyday life- after all, I'm not the one totally reliant on a dog to tell me if my surroundings are safe, and my need for a dog is very small these days besides.

And- it's changeable.

During my bus trip with Creed back when I was more reliant on him, and he was still alive, I had several bus passengers pitch a fit about having to tolerate a dog on the bus. Despite his good behavior and his clearly marked vest, it was decided by several seats around me that his presence was a problem. Until an old white man in a wheelchair was put on the same bus, and yelled at them for being so intolerant.

I once caught an old white man as he stepped into the mall I was also entering to shop, and fell back against me while having a seizure. I stayed with him until paramedics arrived. I have no idea who he was. An older white woman interrupted AKC staff at a show they were harassing me about my service dog gear- she was a friend of a friend, though a stranger to me at that time. She died a few months later from complications of a lifelong addiction.

And I think this sort of situation is one that this website does not often consider. Between two under-privileged people, social privilege can change on a whim depending on context and the exact intersections at play for *all* involved.