A terrible god, lost and abandoned amidst the sands of time only to be recovered sometime in the early 1990's when a new housing development was built on top of him. This out-of-time deity occasionally writes things of merit, but mostly wonders why the Void never returns his calls.
Lucienne Prophet watched the Chosen One die. Now there is no one left to stop the apocalypse. But she will not sit back and wait for death, she will try to stop the God of Darkness no matter what stands in her way.She’ll have to recruit some people abandoned by the Empire of Light to help her stop the end of the world. A blood mage with a centuries long vendetta, some spies with questionable methods, and a woman made of fire.Will the war finally consume Lucienne? Will the gods of Light and Dark finally destroy each other and the world in their long war?
I wrote this 116,000 dark fantasy knowledge back in 2019. It's long, but it's good, I promise.
The book is heavily influenced by things like Mass Effect and the original Dragon Age. We have prophecies that may or may not be true (I mean the Chosen One is dead in chapter 2 so like... yeah), we have blood magic, we have vows of eternal vengeance and hatred, we have blood oaths, we have morally ambiguous spies, we have a world spanning religious empire of light and beauty that totally isn't rotten to the core, we have Lucienne and Aracelis as a pair of leads that are really the only thing that the other has to hold on to in the End Times, and we have a badass wardog named Sasha (she's the best).
Below will be some heavy spoilers just in case you want to know about all the things before you commit.
Lucienne Prophet watched the Chosen One die. Now there is no one left to stop the apocalypse. But she will not sit back and wait for death,
SPOILERS
Aracelis is a blood mage in the last remaining country outside of the Ilanem Empire
She's committed crimes and is imprisoned when the paladins of light invade and start to destroy her country
She loses her boyfriend in the fighting and swears death upon all of Ilanem, summoning a blood demon of vengeance that is bound to her body and soul
Lucienne Prophet is the last surviving friend of the Chosen One who died trying to stop the coming apocalypse of the Corrupt and the God of Darkness Cimenor
She hates Michael (the Chosen One) because he abandoned her, leaving her for dead, and got her husband killed when he rescued her. Both Michael and his god refused to save or heal either of them, so Luce is very bitter
Luce has a wardog named Sasha who's last order from Luce's husband is to protect her no matter what
Luce refuses to just let the apocalypse happens since the Chosen One is dead, instead she takes her Rangers to the most dangerous places and continues to fight, pushing herself beyond the breaking point
Recognizing that Luce is the only hope for stopping this war, she is "chosen" by the God of Light, something she doesn't want, but she will use
Luce recruits and uses the other military branches as she is elevated to a position of power, recruiting a couple of spies, Roth and Charna, who lead the Inquisition, she also recruits the immortal and, up until this point, hidden Aracelis into her crusade
Aracelis secretly convinces Luce to do a ritual to give herself blood magic as well, as Aracelis thinks that the only way to really fight this thing is to use every tool at their disposal
Luce also frees a fire spirit that had been chained up and used as a symbol by the Church of Light
over the course of the novel battles are won and lost, Aracelis and Luce get closer
but Aracelis is compromised, more than she knows
the deals that she made to destroy Ilanem also want her to kill Luce, who she has been in love with for a long time, she refuses to do so
which results in a tense fight with Luce (and a Corrupt Dragon) and ends with Luce seemingly killing Aracelis
but Aracelis is immortal, she can't be killed by something as trite as swords
that doesn't change much for Luce who killed her
Aracelis swears a blood oath to Luce, now magically compelled to help her in every way
Luce, Aracelis, Charna, Roth, and the fire spirit Shula go to confront the God of Darkness and it's armies of Corrupt
Roth and Shula die in the assault
Luce manages to kill Cimenor, almost dying herself
Aracelis is compelled to not act during the battle as the darkness has a hold on her
the novel ends with the victorious team returning to Ilanem only to be greeted by the "resurrected" Michael and the God of Light who wants them all executed for heresy
Aracelis fights her nemesis and Charna helps
Lucienne as a chosen of the Light God can't fight, but when she manages to act, is severely wounded
Aracelis kills the Ilanem god and finally completes her end of the deal, freeing herself from her vengeance demon
Sasha lives through the entire book
Aracelis at some point admits to having feelings for Luce, Luce in turn is beyond stressed out and simply cannot think beyond surviving the next few minutes, although at the very end she recognizes that she does in fact have feelings for Aracelis
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waaaay back when I was a cashier in retail we would talk about dumb shit while unloading the truck, and we got to the "what would you do in a zombie apocalypse" me and another worker were like yeah we would just die. End it all, we can't fight or run or shit. I refuse to put that much effort into survival.
And my manager was like no!!!! If that happened, I would drive to find you guys in my truck and we could eat stuff from my wife's garden and I would make sure everyone I know survived!! I would carry you all on my shoulders away from the zombies!!
Anyway, random shout out to that guy. You were too kind for retail management, Devin.
also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.
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another update: Amal El -Mohtar wrote a small article on her blog (https://amalelmohtar.com/i-tried-to-title-this-post-for-twenty-minutes-and-failed/), one which contains the words “[…] and the upshot of it all is that corporate marketing people at Simon & Schuster now know the name Bigolas Dickolas.”
I know it made it up to #6 at one point. Being a pre-existing fan of both Trigun and This is How You Loose the Time War made this especially enjoyable.
LMFAOO YEAH I JUST SAW IT HIT #3 been trying to keep this post updated but didn’t want to spam, and the speed at which these things have been happening is beautifully astounding so:
trigun, following bigolas dickolas, has also become a trending topic in business and finance
Interview with Bun (or Mr. Bigolas)
Crossover art (https://twitter.com/xxrat__punkxx/status/1656446745088278529?s=20)
thread of semi-current placements on the book
memes
and the situation very much escaping online confinement xD
A significant number of hours later (and too much to summarize):
Time War summary: reached #3 on Amazon overall, #1 (and 2, And 3) in science fiction romance, #3 in lit and fiction, social media presence overseas, and-
printing with a bigolas dickolas sleeve and so much more
Bridging the two: so many articles
slate article
techcrunch article
insider article
kotaku article
Gizmodo article
tor.com
polygon
and etc
And then on the bigolas dickolas trigun side-
And then after tweeting @ dark horse for a potential trigun maximum (trimax) reprint due to the eng verison being out of print for several years by this point:
so everything can now basically be summed by by this tweet!
(I don’t know if i’ll keep updating this thread considering how many branches there are and idk how much more this can escalate, but I’m keeping an eye on the situation so we’ll see!!)
For those asking what time war is about, per Mr. Bigolas’s post: DO NOT look up anything about it. Just read it.
For those asking about trigun, it is an amazing manga, anime adaptation, and new reboot anime.
its been over a year since all this first occurred, but felt it was necessary to tack on that bigolas dickolas declined the Hugo that the infamous tweet was nominated for 😂
Ugly Duckling sequel where the swan is like hey it's nobody's fault and I don't think anyone did anything wrong per se but nonetheless I did feel really alienated and depressed for most of my youth and those years do continue to affect me in the present day and their mom is like, so what you're saying is that you think I'm a failure and a bad duck.
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The magic of childhood is that you were constantly encountering new things. The best way to feel that way again is to fill your life with new experiences.
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Old Nate painting taken down from Leverage office wall so as not to make Sophie sad
"Hardison, this thing cannot be in my pantry, get it out of here"
Reverse heist where Parker places it on display in the British Museum
Records changed to make it look like it was wrongly identified as early work by someone who later became intensely famous and respected, and like a lot of money was paid for it
Assorted experts in colonized countries alerted to embarrassing "mistake"
General mockery ensues throughout the art world
Press joins in general mockery
Parker steals painting BACK along with a few other minor artifacts (that happen to quietly find their way back to rightful owners)
British Museum reports actual thefts, is accused of trying to run an insurance scam as no one would take notoriously fake painting
Painting mysteriously appears in background shot of tech billionaire's home interview
#im LAUGHING Nate would be proud#it’s the ot3’s way of coping at first (he’s still there with them!!) but then he becomes a con of his own#hardison toasting old Nate with ‘’and you said there were no new plays’’#parker talks to old Nate during the reverse heist/heists#eliot grumbles about old Nate in the pantry but will prop him on the counter and set out a small glass of brandy for old times sake#Nate might be gone but he’ll always be there with them (@thecookiemonster77) ;-;
