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>problem i have because of npd
>look up how to cope with npd/that problem
> "how to break a narcissist" "how to manipulate a narcissist" "how to abuse a narcissist" "how to cope with narcissists" "how to get rid of a narcissist"
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I want You in the Most purest yet most Disgusting way Possible.
I've just realized that I've had to fake empathy so much that I've started doing it internally
Like I will see something that society hates or that is frowned upon and I will think "that is so terrible, oh my god"
Then I kinda step back and realize, I don't actually care and I've just been faking being shocked or upset for other people to the point that I've started instinctively doing it in my own head even when I'm alone
npd culture is
no i dont want to hang out with you
I want you to want to hang out with me
π
no wonder you're a narcissist,fucking asshole. narcissistic abuse is real.
it's not real womp fucking womp
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Something ppl won't talk about with npd is I want attention, I want it so badly, but the second I get it I feel nothing but guilt because I genuinely cannot tell when I've been "stealing" attention away from others or when it's an even amount of attention
So the second the focus is on me it's "oh great now everyone hates me because I'm being a narcissistic asshole and I have to shut up"
And it drives me insane because I want that attention I want the focus to be on me, but fuck the guilt. And also the "oh god I can't mess up one word or phrase or everyone's going to judge me and hate me"
Being a fucking loser while also having NPD isn't for the weak. I block so many random people I see as a threat to my ego simply because I can't handle the fact that I'm just an average person, which hurts to admit.
It feels significantly worse when any of my friends are less loser-ish than me, too, since I can't just block them like I would anyone else, so I just kind of grow to hate them for it.
having npd traits and not even being hot or talented or charming has truly got to be the worst combo
