i keep just wanting to beg them to be nice to me, to give me the kinds of affection and love i want and need from them, but i feel so fucking weak and i hate them for making me ask.
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i keep just wanting to beg them to be nice to me, to give me the kinds of affection and love i want and need from them, but i feel so fucking weak and i hate them for making me ask.
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npd culture is. are you nice to me and are you praising me because you actually wholeheartedly believe that i am great and inherently worthy and deserving of attention and love for how great my deeds and achievements are, or are you faking your niceness because you feel obligated to give me attention so that i believe you're a good person or are you doing it just to congratulate me because it's the socially acceptable thing to do? and why do you think your compliments matter to me anyway? are you trying to manipulate me? and what makes you believe i care about your opinion anyway? and why
Hiii i saw you have NPD , and i’m curious what the experience has been like for you, especially being in a system. Like does the rest of your system have NPD or just you ?
(asking because i saw you wanted asks + i’m questioning npd)
hi! Thank you for asking! I should clarify we suspect covert NPD, we don’t have an official diagnosis (we do have more an unofficial diagnosis from our therapist) due to many factors. But we have a good deal of traits for the idea to be on the table.
but anyway with that disclaimer. With us we all have NPD, but for some it’s more obvious likely due to being symptom holders, but we do all have it.
as for our experience it’s pretty much what you expect. We are very sensitive to any type of criticism or perceived criticism. we desire near constant admiration to the point it is harmful for us at times. We have little to no empathy, etc.
I should make a point to bring up our spirals as they are likely important to this discussion. We tend to spiral when we have received criticism or have not gotten the amount of attention we need. Our spirals tend to have us hurt or think about hurting ourselves do to thought processes of never reaching the perfection we put on ourselves. We also have a tendency to lash out at people around us, either by ghosting (most common for us) or by yelling at and blocking.
that’s all I have for now, if you have anymore questions or anything feel free to ask, and I hope you figure out soon what’s up with you. Remember to talk to a therapist if you can about your symptoms! Good luck!
people with ASPD and NPD deserve so much better. people can be so cruel towards others they dont understand. im rooting for you guys <3
hi again, just wanted to thank daffodil & everyone else for all the song recs!! they’ve all gone onto the playlist :}
also,
[cw for manipulative behavior]
i just had a trauma bonding experience with my chosen person that also conveniently gave us both a mutual dislike of one of their other friends (who i’ve been subtly highlighting the flaws of for months now to try to get my chosen person to hang out with me more). it’s been heavenly having all their attention <3
just to be clear, i never make up lies abt the non-chosen person, i just take opportunities to talk about their flaws when i happen upon them
-🥂
oh thats great that that happened!! i wish you the best with your chp :)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
wow i really do love myself #imjustdagoat
unfilled base in case anyone needs it
I feel like people don’t understand that sometimes narcissism makes you a better friend.
Like, yeah. I keep my council of advisors around because they give me supply, but that’s also kinda why I’m good to them
No one makes a dog fully loyal by just beating it. You train a dog with treats. My friends compliment my art and tell em they like being around me and that I’m a good person- why shouldn’t I reward them?
Food and art and favors are things I have plenty of. I don’t mind giving them some.
besides, the more I care for them, the more they love me. It’s a feedback loop I’m constantly feeding into because it brings me lots of supply in return.
Empathetic people end up being sad logs when you’re suffering, anyways. I don’t have that problem. I can actually help with things.
I am not manipulating my friends in the way that a lot of people think narcissists are primed to do.
I am simply using positive reinforcement to get what I want. And for the few people I don’t want dead, the thing I want is my supply. Why shouldn’t I be generous? Happy friends are loving friends, and love is what I want.
damn i think my narc crush's blog got nuked :(((
