#cluster b

​I wish living wasn't this difficult for me. Things hurt deeply and even when they don't, my reaction is always emotional. I react emotionally before processing anything and that's what fucks up my relationships and my attempts to do well in life. I wish honesty and being genuine were as easy as lying and theatricizing my persona. I wish my memories weren't tied to the attention I received in that moment. I forget too many things, I really feel like I don't exist sometimes. I wish my mother had paid attention to me even when I wasn't provoking her, throwing tantrums or trying to make her laugh. I wish she had been interested in my personality when I started to bloom. I wish I didn't have this disorder

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narcissistic abuse ISNT REAL go kiss ur local narc they need it

I get violent.

i dont really get the whole sadism thing i mean i know its pretty common amongst other cluster-b lads but i personally despise when people cry or suffer about things that i did. if i say or do something "bad" to someone it's because i consider it meaningless and i'm not expecting the person to react strongly over it but sometimes they do snd it annoys me badly and i can't understand why people do bad stuff LOOKING for those strong reactions becajuse it's so awkward man Stop crying bitch you're scsring me

All this to say that yes, staying grounded in observable, present reality matters. Of course the future isn't entirely fixed and you have a large amount of say. But is it really being "realistic", or are you needlessly wavering on something your soul knows to be true because you're trying to find some proof that isn't even required?