One day I'll be sand on a beach

at the JRPG cafe, and the drink sizes are sod, soda, and sodaga

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

...

this is the only funny addition to this post

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

nothing is sexier than a bloody lip on a man…. nothing is sexier than a man with a bloody lip pulling you in for a kiss

Alan Turing and Ada of Lovelace did not invent computer science for the girls and the gays to claim they can't do math

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

the most sexual emotion a man can feel is fear

Now why would Tumblr user twinktorturer say something like this