Fly high and Dream big

they need to invent hormones that turn you into a dragon

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

@sineala

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

actual footage of first contact makeouts

And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.

Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.

#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)

I was drawing a bunch of pentagrams in my notebook during math class because I was bored and I think I drew 150 pentagrams in total before a devilish-looking guy wearing a red suit broke down the door of the classroom and yelled “wHAT the fUCK do you wANT?!”

this username escapes me every single time

Hey katy I know what house we’re stealing in the event of an apocalypse.

AGREED.

I don’t know!!! It’s a GIANT table with engraved names.If they AREN’T using it for DnD, they don’t deserve it. But the mine shaft leads to two bedrooms, one of which the fake rail you can see outside leads into, but it’s blocked by a window. Two MORE bedrooms are a floor above and lead right into each other. Like I cannot figure out how you’d get into the other bedroom without waltzing past the bed, the tub that isn’t enclosed, and the open bathroom sink. There are three microwaves (so far) in the house, and only one is in the kitchen. Everytime I think this place can’t get any weirder it DOES.

Right? I’ve gone through what I THINK is the whole house three times now on the 3D tour and every round just raises more questions.

the pony is out for blood

It's a beautiful day and you are a horrible horse

Every day horses wake up and choose violence

this is such a specific emotion that’s unique to the sibling experience and if you don’t have siblings, please understand that this emotion does not contain nearly as much anger or annoyance as it does bafflement, fondness, and too-tired-to-process-this

The whole “capitalism gave you the Internet” thing is especially funny if you actually work in network infrastructure, since one of the first things you’ll learn is that many software technologies that are absolutely critical to the day to day functioning of the Internet are being maintained on a volunteer basis by small, decentralised teams working in whatever free time their day jobs leave them, and that we’d have a crisis on our hands within thirty days if any one of those maintainers were to get hit by a bus and nobody stepped up to replace them. Like, the whole commercial edifice of the Internet rests on the continuous unpaid labour of a relative handful of people who are essentially just doing it for fun.

Hey does anyone have that painting of the Argonath but they’re dabbing? I don’t need it for anything but I do want to inflict it on all my followers again.

Thank you!

Posts that would kill a peasant from 1173

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

Ok, who’s been keeping this post from me? This is top tier, beautiful artwork and I want to know why I’ve never seen this before.

@world-heritage-posts

though I still love Chronicles of Narnia the older I get and the more I learn the clearer it becomes to me why it would have driven Tolkien completely insane

The Santa part almost ruined their friendship

Tolkein is the nerd that complains that characters’ costumes and weapons are impractical and Lewis is the nerd that thinks the designs fuck

It can be difficult to understand just how routine-oriented cats can be if you’ve never owned one. If my oven timer goes off and I’m slow responding to it, my cats will run and fetch me and lead me right to it, because the beepy thing means the human is supposed to go into the kitchen, and are they the only ones around here who give a damn about the Rules?

One night my partner decided to stay up and play video games whilst I got an early night, and the cat responded to this by running from the bedroom to the living room yelling, because only ONE human had gone to bed and so IS IT BEDTIME OR NOT HUMANS, MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, THIS IS NO WAY TO RUN A HOUSEHOLD.

My cat wakes up 5 minutes before my alarm every day. If I get up early and turn the light on, he wakes up, squints and blinks but follows me into the kitchen and sits VERY ANGY wincing at being awake too early but refusing to be asleep if mom is awake. And just glares at me.

This is the definition of Chaotic Evil.

NOOOOOOOOO

I kept saying “why are you like this” more and more, and then it was just “no, nooo. nO, OH GOSH WHY”

I went from “Gosh, that was a close one!” to feral anger very very quickly

HAHA! EVIL

Jinkies

Jeepers!

Zoinks!

Ruh roh!

FUCK