I think this is the single funniest artfight rule. Like....I guess?
WHO DID THIS
Rockwith Aleaf
hello vonnie
Jules of Nature

gracie abrams

bliss lane
almost home
Monterey Bay Aquarium
will byers stan first human second
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
$LAYYYTER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Game of Thrones Daily
official daine visual archive
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Not today Justin
Today's Document
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@random-chaos-thoughts
I think this is the single funniest artfight rule. Like....I guess?
WHO DID THIS
Rockwith Aleaf

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this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
i know what i’m doing dw
Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?
Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck
POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK
desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”
You're failing.
You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY
Pluto is Roman, not Greek
?????
Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.
I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me
HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*
I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe
Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano
FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER
wrong.
Achievement Unlocked:
Lightning Bait
You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.
FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN
I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz
For science
OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND
HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE
ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)
POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE
HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE
APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE
KRATOS: GOD OF WAR
HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE
APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE
ares is the god of war, not kratos
WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN
I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore
op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao
Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book
hey is this still post of the year or
how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?
I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK
Reblogging this as I’m going to see The Odyssey today. Maybe then I can figure out what the fuck is going on.
When I ordered some new push pins I didnt realize they were heavy duty extra long and 'slanted for stability' which means if they drop on the floor they land like this
I'm just gonna throw them out. They're too frightening.
50 of them is 50 chances to have to go to the hospital
The sound you make when you step on them
“So... We got the exploding diarrhea. Here's my advice for anyone who doesn't have it yet:
It's going to take a minute for the government to pin down where this is coming from, and then issue a recall, because the FDA has been gutted. But, I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt : this is coming from Taylor Farms produce, and you will see them recalled.
You'll want to avoid all Taylor Farms produce in the grocery store. They supply McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, about any fast food place you can think of.
Raspberries, watermelons, cilantro, and the veggies you're hearing about are not causing this many people to get sick. It's the shredded lettuce, specifically, that's the problem. But, you'll want to stay away from every type of produce this company puts out, because one strand of shredded lettuce is all it takes to contaminate bushels.
Taylor Farms is the source. Taco Bell proactively pulled their produce from their restaurants. You're going to see other fast food places doing this, and probably will see that before the government names a source. The FDA knows this, but they can't come out and tell us all until there's proof, which takes resources and research, which takes manpower, but the FDA has been cut by about 20-30%
During the Biden term, onions at McDonald's had ecoli. We knew this because DNA testing was done quickly and they were able to narrow it down to one place that caused the outbreak. And, it was traced back to Taylor Farms. This isn't going to be solved as quickly though.
When you get this, make a virtual appointment to your PCP - a "same day sick" appointment. Tell them someone in your family just tested for this and was positive and was prescribed Bactrim. If you go in person, they're probably going to make you poop in a cup and wait until results come back to prescribe.
You'll know when you get this. Trust me on all of this.
You'll want to stay hydrated because this parasite damages the lining of the small intestine. Your small intestine, in turn, secretes more water into the gut, and less nutrients and liquid are able to remain in the body. So no matter how much you shit, you're going to want to drink. A day of this leads to dehydration if you don't increase your fluid intake, and a few days will land you in the hospital.
If you have headaches, weakness, muscle cramps, dizziness, or an increase heart rate - hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Go to the ER for fluids if you can't drink enough.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Brought to you by America's 250 birthday celebrations, workforce reduction in the FDA and CDC, and viewers like you.
Please feel free to share this.
And, MAGA - don't blow up the comment section. I argued with y'all on COVID bc I was afraid y'all would die, but I really don't care if you get explosive diarrhea.
And no, ivermectin will not help this at all.”
ive been trying to be careful about fact checking things lately, so i do want to add a disclaimer here that this is, and unfortunately is likely to remain for a while, just rumors. personally i think it's still a great idea to follow this advice, because the current cdc and fda are completely worthless right now and waiting for them to do their jobs is gonna be a bit. but i just wanna caution folks (not op) to be precise with their language lest we turn this into a useless game of telephone. do avoid taylor farms, but be aware you are doing it out of reasonable suspicion and caution, not from a place of evidence.

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The cashier at Whole Foods just treated me like the village idiot because he told me to “look for the three little lines” on the app and i was like “I’m not seeing a hamburger. I see meatballs. Is that it?” And he said “maam you are looking for Three Little Lines”
For those unaware
“Haha remember when murder-hornets were gonna be a thing? What a nothingburger.”
Yes, because the Washington state government activated like a sleeper-cell and ruthlessly, systematically hunted them down and annihilated them.
“Y2K came to nothing amirite?”
Yes because an army of software engineers working around the clock, losing sleep, and busting ass till the last minute prevented it from happening.
“Remember the hole in the ozone layer?”
You mean the one that was fixed through rigorous world wide government action?
One of the root problems of our society is a refusal or inability by media to articulate that all those “it’s gonna be an apocalypse” disasters were not disasters because we collectively did something about them.
The good news is this is actually quite correctable. I maintain my firm belief that we as humans are capable of solving almost all of our problems, when we decide to do so.
And I still think that’s going to happen. I don’t know when or how, but I do know that abandoning hope won’t help bring it about.
And I refuse to let the cynics own a chunk of my heart.
is that a nothing in your pants or are you just normal to see me
String identified: tat a tg at a t a t Aa, a ! g a a.
Closest match: Facelina auriculata genome assembly, chromosome: 15 Common name: Slender Facelina
(image source)
The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in
Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks
There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.
And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona
We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

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Oh baby fight
See them jousting
So cute, I love it!
I love you Bamf but that was just dumb
turns out when you specifically seek out extremely pathetic and clumsy women to be your knights and maids they arent very good at being knights or maids
you think you’re so funny don’t you. GUARDS. OFF WITH H- no- no its okay dont cry guards its okay im sorry i raised my voice its okay no im not mad at you
what I've learned from having other people edit my work is that I have a sick addiction to commas
there have been four editing passes on my spider sex book, and each time they take away so many commas. no fresh commas are being added, this is just a continued culling. if you see a comma in the final book please understand that it survived so much

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the truth is the most discourse poisoned weirdos among us are not even on tumblr at all, they're walking around the physical world acting like normal people until their sleeper activation topic comes up.
when I was in undergrad I had this professor who spontaneously decided in the middle of a class on, as far as I could tell, a completely unrelated topic to go on a bizarre tirade about how human pregnancies are actually 10 months long and saying it's 9 months is a patriarchal attempt to minimise women's suffering. she very confidently justified this by explaining that there are four weeks in a month, so 40 weeks is 10 months.
when someone pointed out that a month (except February) is actually four weeks and two to three days, and that 40 weeks (280 days) is a lot closer to 9 months (275 days) than it is to 10 months (305 days), she told him to stop mansplaining.
then a girl pointed out that the actual length of a typical human pregnancy isn't even 40 weeks, it's 38. I think we all collectively blacked out after that
Buckle up children, cause I have a short story.
It just happened this week. It all started with some guy. This person placed in order for a new Bible. Nothing out of the ordinary. But when they get the package, they realize that this was not the Bible they ordered from Amazon. Oh no, it’s this.
Now once this picture is posted, everyone starts explaining what the book actually is, what Gravity Falls is and giving recommendations in overall they’re taking it really well .
Now this isn’t the funny part. Sure, getting the complete opposite of the Bible is one thing but then this happens…
 you couldn’t write better material than this. It’s been verified to be authentic story. The entire Gravity Falls Sub Reddit has gone wild over this.