Shiloh Pell

(Pie -> cat courtesy of https://affinelayer.com/pixsrv/ )

I work with neural networks, which are a type of machine learning computer program that learn by looking at examples. They’re used for all sorts of serious applications, like facial recognition and ad targeting and language translation. I, however, give them silly datasets and ask them to do their best.

So, for my latest experiment, I collected the titles of 2237 sweet and savory pie recipes from a variety of sources including Wikipedia and David Shields. I simply gave them to a neural network with no explanation (I never give it an explanation) and asked it to try to generate more.

Its very first attempt left something to be desired, but it had figured out that "P”, “i”, and “e” were important somehow.

e Piee  i m t iee ic ic Pa ePeeetae  a   e eee  ema iPPeaia eieer   i   i i  ie e eciie Pe eaei a

Second checkpoint. Progress: Pie.

Pie Pee Pie Pimi Pie Pim Cue Pie Pie (er Wie Pae Pim Piu Pie Pim Piea Cre Pia Pie Pim Pim Pie Pie Piee Pie Piee

This is expected, since the word “pie” is both simple and by far the most common word in the dataset. It stays in the stage above for rather a while, able to spell only “Pie” and nothing else. It’s like evolution trying to get past the single-celled organism stage. After 4x more time has elapsed, it finally adds a few more words: “apple”, “cream”, and “tart”. Then, at the sixth checkpoint, “pecan”.

Seventh checkpoint: These are definitely pies. We are still working on spelling “strawberry”, however.

Boatin Batan Pie Shrawberry Pie With An Cream Pie Cream Pie Sweesh Pie Ipple Pie Wrasle Cream Pie Swrawberry Pie Cream Pie Sae Fart Tart Cheem Pie Sprawberry Cream Pie Cream Pie

10th checkpoint. Still working.

Coscard Pie Tluste Trenss Pie Wot Flustickann Fart Oag’s Apple Pie Daush Flumberry O Cheesaliane Rutter Chocklnd Apple Rhupperry pie Flonberry Peran Pie Blumbberry Cream Pie Futters Whabarb Wottiry Rasty Pasty Kamphible Idponsible Swarlot Cream Cream Cront

16th checkpoint. Showing some signs of improvement? Maybe. It thinks Qtrupberscotch is a thing.

Buttermitk Tlreed whonkie Pie Spiatake Bog Pastry Taco Custard Pie Apple Pie With Pharf Calamed apple Freech Fodge Cranberry Rars Farb Fart Feep-Lisf Pie With Qpecisn-3rnemerry Fluit Turd Turbyy Raisin Pie Forp Damelnut Pie Flazed Berry Pie Figi’s Chicken Sugar Pie Sauce and Butterm’s Spustacian Pie Fill Pie With Boubber Pie Bok Pie Booble Rurble Shepherd’s Parfate Ner with Cocoatu Vnd Pie Iiakiay Coconate Meringue Pie With Spiced Qtrupberscotch Apple Pie Bustard Chiffon Pie

Finally we arrive at what, according to the neural network, is Peak Pie. It tracks its own progress by testing itself against the original dataset and scoring itself, and here is where it thinks it did the best.

It did in fact come up with some that might actually work, in a ridiculously-decadent sort of way.

Baked Cream Puff Cake Four Cream Pie Reese’s Pecan Pie Fried Cream Pies Eggnog Peach Pie #2 Fried Pumpkin Pie Whopper pie Rice Krispie-Chiffon Pie Apple Pie With Fudge Treats Marshmallow Squash Pie Pumpkin Pie with Caramelized Pie Butter Pie

But these don’t sound very good actually.

Strawberry Ham Pie Vegetable Pecan Pie Turd Apple Pie Fillings  Pin Truffle Pie Fail Crunch Pie Crust Turf Crust Pot Beep Pies Crust Florid Pumpkin Pie Meat-de-Topping Parades Or Meat Pies Or Cake #1 Milk Harvest Apple Pie Ice Finger Sugar Pie Amazon Apple Pie Prize Wool Pie Snood Pie Turkey Cinnamon Almond-Pumpkin Pie With Fingermilk Pumpkin Pie With Cheddar Cookie Fish Strawberry Pie Butterscotch Bean Pie Impossible Maple Spinach Apple Pie Strawberry-Onions Marshmallow Cracker Pie Filling Caribou Meringue Pie

And I have no what these are:

Stramberiy Cheese Pie The pon Pie Dississippi Mish  Boopie Crust Liger Strudel Free pie Sneak Pie Tear pie Basic France Pie Baked Trance pie Shepherd’s Finger Tart Buster’s Fib Lemon Pie Worf Butterscotch Pie Scent Whoopie Grand Prize Winning I*iple Cromberry Yas Law-Ox Strudel Surf Pie, Blue Ulter Pie - Pitzon’s Flangerson’s Blusty Tart Fresh Pour Pie Mur’s Tartless Tart

More of the neural network’s attempts to understand what humans like to eat:

Perhaps my favorite: Small Sandwiches

All my other neural network recipe experiments here.

Want more than that? I’ve got a bunch more recipes that I couldn’t fit in this post. Enter your email here and I’ll send you 38 more selected recipes.

“reminder that blood sucker is a slur”

“vamp-born-vamps are valid if u got bitten later in life you’re not part of the vamp community” 

“What about satyrs?’

“You can wear shoes”

“Just a reminder that if you appropriate mermaid culture you’re a piece of shit”

“Actually we don’t mind because a lot of our culture comes from humans”

stop fetishizing incubi

stop fetishizing incubi

stop fetishizing incubi

stop fetishizing incubi

Support veelas who seduce random townspeople

Support veelas who take shepherds as lovers

some zombies can’t eat brains due to physical conditions that make them too weak to gnaw through the skull

some zombies can’t digest them

some zombies just don’t like the taste

hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty

hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty

hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty

hydras with nine heads are just as valid as hydras with twenty