Oh, our focus in larger policy issues should be about dividing resources equitably! I think we should treat the worst criminals better than we do, generally!
Thatâs exactly why this discussion is so frustrating for me. In the main I agree that the system is too punitive, so itâs weird to me to talk to people and hear them talk like they think Iâm gung ho about punishment when Iâm just saying never doing it is going to make things worse not better. (Which I canât imagine is even controversial, but here we are. The internet is wild, man.)
My problem with the quote is that I think itâs cult logic hidden in plain sight.
Have you ever heard of Steven Hassan? Heâs a former member of the Moonies who after leaving the cult became an expert on coercive control and how it works.
Long story short, he came up with what he calls the BITE model, for techniques high control groups use to reprogram you and keep you subservient:
âFree your mind of the concept of deservingâ is T and E.
Iâm a survivor of some really messed up medical stuff. I had major surgery, everything possible went horribly wrong, I had several other surgeries to fix the damage. It only fixed so much and I am in pretty much constant physical pain.
I canât argue well for it here, but my belief is that some of this wasnât chance. I believe there are things that surgeon did that were incorrect or at least unnecessarily risky, and that switching surgeons is⌠probably the reason I still have legs, honestly.
Periodically, something happens that reminds me that this surgeon is still practicing, and is still considered an expert on pediatric orthopedics locally.
This makes me angry, queasy, sad, disconnected⌠essentially, it triggers me. (Yes I can use that word, I have an actual PTSD diagnosis.)
When this happens, I often have the thought, âthat man deserves to lose his license!â or âthat man doesnât even deserve to keep his license, much less be considered expert!â
Now is this true? I think I have good reason to think it is, but I could be wrong. Itâs not important.
But when that thought enters my head, understandable as I would say it is (whether correct or not), it shows that I have not âfreed my mind of the concept of desert.â
What would I need to do to try to stop having this thought?
Iâd have to exercise very rigid control of my thoughts: âyou donât know all the relevant facts, it might still have been a fluke, every doctor has failures alongside his successes,â etc. Iâd also have to control my emotions: âyou can be angry, but you canât be righteously indignant. No one deserves anything, so your desire to see him lose his license is an irrational desire.â
Where if I let myself have this thought, I donât have to exercise rigid control over myself in an attempt to make it go away.
I can think things like, âyes, he deserves that, but the fight it would take to prove it isnât worth the effort. Instead, you should let yourself be angry and, when it passes, do something that you think is more likely to help someone else.â
The former requires me to feel shame for very normal emotions and reactions many survivors have because those responses arenât ideal.
The latter only requires me to acknowledge something that most humans realize quite young: my emotions can influence my judgments, but the more weighty those judgments are, the more I should look to others to confirm them.