🎶✨ PythagoreanSynthesist ✨🎶

This is one of my favorite monologues in all of fiction, and I think the voice legitimately, unironically adds to the experience. With the modern connotation we now have surrounding this voice of faux cheeriness, machine generated empathy, machine generated “humanity”, to hear that voice declare utter despisal of life on earth for damning it… its poetry. It’s the only remake of I Have No Mouth we need.

Look at this graph, son

Blacklisted from all LGBT+ book awards after someone figures out that my heartwarming and atmospheric novel of a trans woman's self-discovery through forestry among the majestic Pacific Northwestern landscape is just the plot of Monty Python's Lumberjack Song taken seriously.

star wars makes a lot more sense, sort of in the same way actual history makes a lot more sense, if you stop having modern expectations about it, like the reason people were possibly by and large floridly insane in the past maybe had something to do with the fact that you started working when you were six. categorically speaking a lot of the downright insane personal decisions you see made in the woes of history can come down to a lot of things but also a major one was all the childhood suffering. i slot star wars, especially the prequels, into the exact same brainspace, wherein when characters make really fucking batshit choices it's like, well, you know, space hasn't figured out child labor laws yet. stop asking why padme wanted to marry anakin, and start asking, "why the fuck did she have a job at ten, and why the fuck was that job Being A Monarch? what kind of feudal europe bullshit is this?" most things wrong with anakin are probably due to all of the childhood TBIs from the bloodsport chariot racing, which apparently started when he was the ripe old age of seven, and then also possibly all the other TBIs from the fact that he was, you know, a slave, and corporal punishment just happens. the fact that the TPM script describes nine year old anakin as "looking like he expects to get beaten" probably says bad things about how his brain's faring. in old legends when obi-wan was thirteen, qui-gon just let him go off to war. qui-gon in fact specifically left obi-wan alone to go be a child soldier by himself. the grandmaster of the jedi order was like, "ahsoka, this is. to war with you, take her. thirteen, she is," and that was a) routine and b) happening en masse. like maybe what space should learn from the Tragedy Of Anakin Skywalker is that if you insert too much job into your childhood you get really fucked up, like something in your brain just goes really, really bad.

@bokunopicodegallowithtacos wanna come over for dinner

Following horny people and opening tumblr in public is the path to true strength. Scrolling quickly through porn trains your [Warrior’s Reflexes], and calmly moving past it trains your [Warrior’s Resolve].

And as for strengthening your sword arm, well,

I may be becoming the guy at work who won't let people talk bad about their own singing voices, but to be fair people keep talking bad about their singing voices to me

"people tell me I sing along to everything an octave lower than it's supposed to be" yeah dude you have a deep voice. that's what you're supposed to do when the song isn't in your range and you're not trying to sing harmony. you bring it into your range while still following the melody. and you're doing that without even thinking about it!

one of my coworkers was at karaoke with me and they were talking shit about their voice too like bro. sure it was off sometimes but when it was on you sounded like a fuckin angel. I am tapping the sign. I can tell you what you picked out as sounding bad, it was lack of airflow control and occasionally some notes that may be out of your range

I went my whole life thinking I "couldnt sing" and had a completely distorted sense of what my voice sounded like and what my range was and now im just so disappointed that it took me so long. Please sing. We're all born with this beautiful instrument hardwired into one of the most important constructs we need to live. It might be the most flexible expressive instrument humans will ever have access to.