go forth and make mischief

(opening my ribcage) and this is where i keep my hot stab of shame

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

What?

it would probably move faster if your phone wasn't encased in green gelatin

the liberal media won’t trick me into removing my protective delicious gels

my uh, close internet friend broke up with his girlfriend over financial things but the more he describes it the more i think its insane he ever stayed. She wanted to be engaged before they even moved in with each other, no prenup, she's 60k in debt, he has like 100k in assets, she's a Divorce Laywer. Can you imagine getting rushed into marriage by a divorce lawyer. lmao.