Mybookblog

Ahh, it’s back

i have disproportionately strong feelings about this.

one-sided platonic feelings always hit me so hard. like. i want you to love me like a son, but to you i’m not much more than a servant. i swore our oath of brotherhood out of real devotion, and you swore it out of convenience. i want to go to the ends of the earth and the depths of hell for you and follow you until the end of time, and in your mind that’s no more than what i owe you

“Why would you stop in hell?” has changed my brain chemistry

crazy how i find myself thinking i've got a handle on it all finally and then i see the ways that other people tangle their lives together so easily and live so easily together with their friends and i feel like that girl at the top of the stairs painting by norman rockwell

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

Where am I

everyone tells me that ADHD isn't an excuse for being lazy and that there are people with ADHD who have overcome their symptoms and are successful but every day I drag around an invisible dopplegänger of myself who is horrible and listless and always complains. and he is so heavy. I'm ambitious and I'm passionate but he isn't and the problem is that to get anywhere in life I have to grab him by the leg and pull him along the whole way, kicking and screaming, and sometimes it gets exhausting. sometimes he pulls me down with him. and it gets a bit difficult to explain to people why I'm lying down on the floor in pain when they can't see him.

I've never heard ADHD explained this way....but it's such a good depiction of it.