I never saw people say stuff like this enough when I was a teenager, so Iâm saying it now.
Iâm in my mid-thirties and I have never had sex. Iâve thought about it and could have had one or two opportunities if I put in more effort, but I always decided against it because I just wasnât into it at the time.
I can safely say that I do not feel I have missed out on anything. I was perfectly capable, by myself, of learning about my own body and boundaries without anyone else there to muddy the waters. The immense pressure that was there in my teens/twenties to Have Sex Just Do It is basically gone. Iâm vibing. Iâve got my routine by myself in bed that I enjoy, and thatâs enough for me.
And in the unlikely event that I ever decide to have sex with someone in the future, I donât feel at all like Iâm lacking some essential Knowledge or Skill that would âmake it goodâ for someone else. I fully expect to ask my partner out loud what they like and to receive an answer clearly communicated and to relax and have fun. And if itâs a disappointing experience, Iâm fine with that too. It is what it is.
Sex is just not that big of a deal. I suspected it as a teen, and Iâm more sure of it now. Itâs fine to have it or not have it. Itâs whatever.























