It’s not a bad boarding house, as these things go.
We’re not allowed up to the fourth floor, for any reason – but I don’t blame the landlady for wanting her privacy.
Nobody but the landlady answers the strange willow-patterned telephone on the third floor landing.
We all lock our windows on full moon nights.
No couples are allowed, ever. Only single women and girls.
And sometimes, if you go down the hall to the kitchen late at night, there’s a strange black door that’s never there by daylight.
For some reason, it’s hard to get new lodgers to stay. I don’t know why. It’s a little strange, maybe, but the meals are good, Mrs Hallow the landlady is kind, and the rent is ridiculously cheap. I’ll take the strange black door and the phone that rings even when there’s no wire going to it over rats in the walls and cigarette ash in the food any day. My last boarding house was like that. I like it here.
I’d been living here for nearly two years when I lost my job working at the telephone exchange. It wasn’t my fault – they cut the night shift back, and one of the girls cut was me. Mrs Hallow told me not to worry – as I was an old lodger, she’d let me work for room and board while I looked for another job. She’s so nice, I don’t know why people say she’s creepy. It’s not her fault she’s so tall and thin, and her bones show through her fragile old skin.
I worked hard, wanting her to be glad she’d kept me. One of the jobs she gave me, since I was used to working nights, was packing lunches after supper. For the Night Gentlemen, she told me, but didn’t say more. Every night, I packed twenty lunches in twenty tin pails and filled twenty thermoses with strong coffee. I made sandwiches, and boiled eggs, sliced pickles and cheese, and packed a paper napkin into each pail. I was to have everything done by eleven, Mrs Hallow told me, for the Night Gentlemen came at midnight to collect their meals, and I should be in bed by then. By morning, the pails were all gone. By evening, they were all stacked neatly in the kitchen again, clean and ready to be filled. I never saw them come, but I supposed it must be while I was sleeping.
Then I started to worry that my lunches were dull. I baked cookies for the lunch pails, and pies and pasties. I put in different kinds of fruit and vegetables each day. The Night Gentlemen worked late hours, if they came for their lunches in the middle of the night. They needed to eat good food. I looked through Mrs Hallow’s old recipe books and tried new dishes, like german apple pancake and potato dumplings. Mrs Hallow was pleased, and said she would pay me a little wage in addition to my room and board, if I didn’t mind continuing. She was getting too old, she said, to make all those meals every night.
I had been working at the boarding house for nearly six months when I really messed up. I’d burned a whole batch of cookies to a crisp, so I had to start all over, and I didn’t have time to decorate them before evening. It was Valentine’s Day, and I felt so bad that I decided to stay up late to finish them. The Night Gentlemen didn’t come until midnight, so I had time… I thought.
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Okay, you know what? Given that over the last week I have seen at least one of the common myths of "things you should not do in the heat" come over my dashboard, let us quickly go over this:
If it is hot, you will need to drink more than normally because you are sweating. You can drink too much, though usually your body knows how to regulate it.
Yes, if it is liquid and not alcoholic it counts to your drinking intake. Yes, drinking lemonades, coke and whatever counts. All of it is still mostly water with some sugar and flavors added. It is fine. Be careful about taking in too much caffeine though, as it is a mild diuretic (means it makes you pee more and hence lose more water).
Yes, you also need electrolytes as you sweat them out. But you do not need to drink sports drinks. Eat some yoghurt with fruits, or some watermelon with salt, or maybe cold soup. It will refill your electrolytes.
No, it is not dangerous for you to sleep in front of a ventilator. This is a complete myth that has absolutely no basis in science whatsoever and literally originates with an Urban Legend. Especially with the recent heat wave in Europe for a lot of people the alternative is the possibility of heat stroke. It is fine. Sleep in front of that ventilator. Just make sure you are not getting too cold.
No, using sunscreen does not stop you from taking in Vitamin D, unless you are permanently using super high standard sun screen and are reapplying it every 6 hours as intended. And let's face it: you are not. Your skin gets enough UVB to make Vitamin D, don't worry about it. Skin cancer is worse.
Yes, switching between a very hot outside and a very cold context (be it super high AC or just jumping into cold water) can be a danger for your cardiovascular system, though unless the weather is very hot or the water very cold making the contrast very extreme, it is normally not a danger to people who do not have otherwise issues with their cardiovascular system. Though being a bit careful and allowing yourself to acclimatize is not a bad idea in general.
Yes, you should definitely not leave any living thing in a car while it is hot. Just don't. Cars heat up while standing very quickly and will become a death trap. If you leave an animal or a child alone in the car for even just 5 to 10 minutes, they might die. Don't do that shit.
Yes, you need to be extra careful about your medications. For once, most medications are not meant to be stored at above 25°C (don't ask me what this is in American units). But also a bunch of medications - especially psychoactive medications - will make your body worth at temperature regulation. So be careful.
Yes, you need shadow. Ideally the shadow of trees, because there is indeed a difference between that and the shadow of a building. But any shadow is good, especially during extreme heat.
In the same vein: be also careful about drugs during heat waves - like, the recreational type. Some of them work differently when your body is warmed up like that. Just... ideally read up online on possible side effects that might occur/be worse if taken during the heat.
Generally speaking: stay hydrated. Stay cool. Try to do it as well as you can in your respective situation. Stay safe.
Wait, is there a typo in the second-to-last bullet point? I would have thought the only difference between treeshade and building shade would be that the trees are worse because they let more sunlight through; am I missing something?
You are missing evaporation. Trees are alive and full of water, which constantly evaporates, making shadow underneath trees in general cooler than the shadow of buildings. This is also the reason why people are pushing for green cities, because anything green is lowering the temperature - and of course also green usually comes along with some natural ground which is better at heat exchange than concrete and helps breaking up heat islands.
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Wait wait wait I realised this may not be common knowledge so I want to share it. If you're making something and you want to make sure it is visually accessible contrast-wise, take an image of it and reduce the saturation to zero then stand back to the distance someone would realistically view it.
I should be very clear that this is not an exact replica of how someone with colourblindness of any type or other visual symptoms would see this -- this is just a hack to help a person with normal vision figure out contrast. I have VSS and my other diagnoses affect my eye muscles so having multiple types of contrast (e.g., colour as well as lightness or colour as well as texture) is really important even though my vision is relatively normal by optometrist standards.
you guys are getting the term housebound a little confused in my notes and it’s making my eye twitch as someone who is housebound and has been both housebound and bedbound.
housebound doesn’t mean “cannot leave the house under any circumstances”, but in fact means “can leave the house, on the requirement of needing assistance from either a mobility aid to avoid worsening symptoms, or with the help of another person, and leaving is going to take immense effort, exhaust me, and take me a long time recover from”.
Sorry for the flashbang random person online but I want to point out that it's remarkable how no matter which one of these creatures I draw, it's always someone's favourite, or at the very least they have happy childhood memories about it
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it sucks that the overwhelming majority of medical messaging around salt/sodium is "evil poisonous substance that you're definitely already eating way too much of," because like. you do still need it. (trust me, as a POTS-haver, I've had to completely rewire my own brain about salt.) and you need more salt when the entire northern hemisphere is hot enough to fry an egg on. ever tried sucking down the recommended 64oz of hydration per day entirely as water, only to find you're peeing constantly without any of the purported benefits of being "hydrated"? assuming you don't have another medical condition that causes frequent urination, your body probably needed more salt/electrolytes to be able to hold onto that water and make use of it. if there was ever a time to keep a sports drink/pedialyte/etc within constant reach, it's when the heat index is 110°F/43°C.
Writer Sign-Ups are now open for the Rusty Quill Mini Bang 2026
Writer Sign-Ups are now open for the Rusty Quill Mini Bang 2026!
Please read through the information carefully to understand what will be expected of you as a participant.
The sign-up link is at the end of the post under the spoiler cut!
You do not need to have decided what you will be writing at this stage, but please consider whether the fic requirements are compatible with what you have in mind, and be sure that you can commit to contacting us on the below deadlines to share your progress (or withdraw your participation if necessary).
Schedule for 2026 (all deadlines at 23:00 BST / 5pm CDT)
Writer Sign-ups: July 5th-12th
Full First Draft & Summary Due: August 30th
Artist Sign-ups: September 6th-13th
Match Send Out: September 15th
Check-in: October 4th
Final Fic & Art Due: October 18th
Posting: October 30th 23.00 GMT
Info for Writers:
Minimum Final Word Count: 5,000
Maximum Number of Fics per Writer/s: 1
Maximum Number of Writers per Fic (collaboration): 2
Confirmation e-mails for sign-ups will be sent out after sign-ups close; if you have not received a confirmation by July 18th, please contact us at [email protected]. We ask that you check your email (including the spam folder!) and reply so we can confirm that your registered email address is correct and you still intend to participate.
Participation Requirements:
You must choose whether to join the Mini Bang as an artist or writer. You may not do both.
Writers will require an AO3 account; if you do not have an AO3 account, please request one via AO3’s login page.
If you wish to write M or E rated fics you must be aged over 18.
All participants must read and adhere to the Expected Conduct guidelines (see below).
Fic Draft Requirements: At the draft deadline (August 18th), we will require a complete draft of at least 4,000 words. “Complete” means that the fic is written from start to finish with no indispensable scenes missing or left as outlines—think, “If I posted this right now, would I be happy with the story it tells?”
Ideally, you will refine and polish your draft in the remaining time, but it can also be your final draft if you prefer.
Drafts will be handed in via a form that will be sent out to you before the deadline. Drafts should be available in Google docs, or if need be in PDF format.
Summary Requirements: A form for the summary will be sent out to you before the deadline. Summaries should briefly outline the general premise, and include rating, ships, triggers and other warnings, and any other relevant details.
Eligible Fics:
Fics of any rating and with any warnings are permitted, as long as they meet the minimum word count (5,000), are centered around at least one Rusty Quill original podcast (The Magnus Archives, The Magnus Protocol, Rusty Quill Gaming, Stellar Firma, Inexplicables, Chapter & Multiverse, Trice Forgotten, Cry Havoc!, Neon Inkwell), and are tagged appropriately.
We encourage authors to take this opportunity to challenge themselves to take on a project that they might not otherwise—though please consider what is realistic in terms of the deadlines as well!
Fics must be stand-alone (requires no knowledge of previous fics to enjoy), complete (resolves all main plotlines within the story, as opposed to being part I of a trilogy, etc.), and previously unposted.
Crossovers are allowed, but the focus should be on the RQ podcast involved. For example: a fusion crossover with the Leverage Team replacing the LOLOMG in the RQG!verse would not be permitted, though the RQG characters in the Leverage!verse would be.
Please be aware that fics with obscure crossovers, common squicks, higher ratings, etc., may be more difficult to match, and thus take a little longer to get snapped up. We will do our best to find you a suitable match, though!
If you have any questions about the suitability of your fic, please contact the mods.
Matching Process:
The artist sign-up will include a list of the anonymised fic summaries. Each artist will select 3 fics which they would be interested in creating for, with additional preferences (favourite show/shows they do not follow, OTPs and NoTPs, Do Not Wants, etc.) indicated in the comment field. Mods will then match writers to artists, taking preferences into account as much as possible.
If fics are oversubscribed or if it is otherwise necessary for matching, they may be removed from the list of eligible fics before the end of artist sign-ups.
If you have an issue with your match, please let the mods know as soon as possible.
Do Not Wants:
In this event, you will have an opportunity to Do Not Want (DNW) the types of content that you do not wish to work on. Similarly, if you’ve had conflicts with certain people in the past and do not want to risk matching to them, you can include this in your sign-up or draft submission, and we will avoid matching you with them (details of these will not be shared beyond the mod team).
The mods will always account for DNWs within reason; however, attempts to manipulate matches via DNWs or otherwise acting in bad faith will result in the rejection of your sign-up or draft. We are also not private detectives, and will thus not be fielding any requests such as “do not match me with anyone who has ever drawn/written XYZ.” Please keep that in mind when considering whether this event is right for you.
Expected Conduct:
By signing up for this event, you agree to do your best to meet the deadlines. If you might need a little more time, please email the mods to explain your situation before the deadline passes. Those who miss deadlines without contacting the mods beforehand may be dropped from the event without further contact.
In order to participate in this event, you must be willing to contact the mods directly in the event that you have a question, concern, or issue with your participation (as in the deadline example above). We are happy to help participants with anything that arises, but cannot accept “telephone”-style communiques on behalf of others.
Be in regular contact with your match—if you’re going to be offline for a significant length of time, let them know. Radio silence from your match in events of this kind can be very concerning. (If you are having trouble getting in touch with your match, please contact us!)
Please take care to credit your artist/writer in your own final post.
Our Discord server has its own list of rules, which are listed within the server. If you decide to join the server, we require you to read and abide by those rules.
Be kind and courteous towards your match and fellow participants. This naturally means that all forms of bigotry and discrimination are prohibited, but even where those are not at play, you are expected to treat others with respect.
We, like Rusty Quill, have an “all headcanons are valid” policy. Harassment or mockery of those with different interpretations will not be tolerated. This does not mean you cannot discuss how you see the characters with others or that your artist/writer should not take it into account at their discretion, but insistence that any one interpretation must be adhered to is not allowed.
If you have concerns that a work or participant may be in violation of the rules, please bring it to the mods directly. Harassment of other participants (including but not limited to callout posts, name-calling, baiting, etc.), either publicly or in the Piles of Nonsense discord server, over their identities, fanworks, or headcanons will result in an instant default.
A full overview of the Guidelines can be found on our Challenge Guidelines page. We also have an FAQ. (Please note that blog pages do not work on the app - you may need to use a browser.)
The writer sign-up form can be found here.
Thanks for reading, and we look forward to working with you!
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