Random

go ahead. do it. hit the twin towers.

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

the way you can resent your parents but also sympathise with and ache for them… so sick

bro oh my god … vanilla extract

vanilla extract smells wonderful but tastes horrific on its own. but mixed with sugar and flour and cream it tastes just like it smells. we need the support of others to reach our full potential

no man is an island everyone is vanilla extract

everytime you reblog this tumblr gets gayer

i love how french accents sound so much theyre so funny and delightful. i wish they werent attached to french people

oh time for my antidepressant! *sucks ur cock*

Solution: Full body armor and masks. You don’t see people shipping themselves with Sauron!

…………..you think?

…………..don’t look up Sauron on AO3

Nothing fails to crack me up like this post - the vain hope that somewhere out there is some awful nasty thing that there is not also a person whose kink that is, the idea that covering something up won’t make people obsessed with finding out what it looks like underneath, the surface level understanding of Sauron and complete lack of knowledge of the Silmarillion and it’s fandom, the fact that Sauron was canonically hot as fuck, the amount of Sauron erotica I have seen, God this post never gets old

I’ve watched this over and over again and I laugh every time

I’m still trying to figure out what he was hoping to achieve by diving headfirst over the banister like that.

Bold of you to assume cops have any thought process other than “im a cool action hero”

Rolling down the stairs like a fucking slab of ham lmao

I’m at my dog sitting job in a pretty old countryside farm and the lady who does the cleaning up here told me this morning that there are old tunnels (now closed up) running from the house to the church (1km) and I did not want to know that

Imagine what could come from there? Ghouls, ghosts, vampires?

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

consider the coconut

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

This post is a journey

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

I MEAN where’s the lie

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.

Reblogging for that last exchange.

@shanastoryteller

These are all very important things that required your attention. They’re doing a good job.

These are all very important things that required your attention. They’re doing a good job.