LOVELE$$

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

i was obsessed with the eruption of mt vesuvius as a kid, you know, ad 79, destruction of pompeii, the good shit. anyway when i was 9 my aunt was living in naples in italy and we went to visit and she was like do you want to climb mt vesuvius. and i was like hwaaa? you can do that? and she was like yeah i actually do a marathon up it every year let's go. so me and my mum and aunt and cousins all trek up this volcano in the middle of summer and it's yknow, a volcano. very hot and full of rocks. and we get to the crater and we're looking down into it and i'm like woah... this is what destroyed pompeii... and my aunt is like yup. got 'em good. and my little 6 year old cousin pipes up 'what would happen if it erupted now??' and me and my aunt just immediately, in the exact same tone, say 'we would die.'

[excited about an aro friend getting a boyfriend] congratulations! [remembers that presenting romantic relationships as a universal goal to be achieved perpetuates amatonormativity] I don't care about your relationship at all [trying to reaffirm that I am supportive of aromanticism] and I hope you break up

I wish irl grinding was as fun as in videogames tbh. Like yeah i need to go to work a thousand times but after that i have enough materials to buy a house. But alas, houses arent real

I hate how the advice for avoiding burnout is all "if you feel like everything is a chore you're making yourself do, you should rest and do things you want to do voluntarily :)" like the fuck you mean want to do. I don't want to cook a nice homemade meal, go outside to spend time in nature, make cutesy fun little crafts, read books, or do any of that shit. Those are also chores I make myself do. Self care is a chore. Either I am up and making myself do shit that I don't want to do because people are making me and I am supposed to, or it's phone in bed. There is no secret third thing.

my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell

wow. so your hobbies are "reading" and "going on walks to look at nature"...? got anything that isnt MEDIA CONSUMPTION 🙄?

[ID: tag: #birdwatching? You know that’s just animalslop right? /end ID]

GOING TO KILLLLLLLLLLLLL......my shadow self