You Wish This Were A 404 Error

i don't even care about seeing Stormlight Archive spoilers because everything is so complex that nothing makes sense to me. people will be like "omg i canot believe that Gringus betrayed Ethelson Caynor all because he ended up being the Soothsayer of All Eternal Light🙄" and "well!☝️ maybe if the Shedram Finsyer learned how to manipulate dust in her sleep then the Great Spenyislk wouldn't have gone extinct in the First War of the Sheild Boars" as if that means anything at all

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

The accuracy hurts 😭

what if hardison had to grift as a drag queen for a con (uhhhhh local long-standing club got bought by evil new management?? and the crew’s trying to oust them and reinstall the original owner), and more than eliot loves seeing hardison in the gorgeous evening gowns with the slits up the thigh and the mini skirts that barely cover his ass, more than he loves seeing hardison all dolled up in the silky-soft wigs and the colorful makeup that shimmers and pops against his dark skin, more than he loves smelling the fruity perfume that hardison’s started wearing and yeah yeah fine he likes the fake tits too, he fucking loves the fake nails because they feel so good combing through his hair and scratching his scalp. parker also loves to have hardison drag them up and down her back. for the whole length of the con as long as he’s got the manicure the three of them wind down every night by parking it on the couch with hardison in the middle and parker and eliot on either side, and hardison spends, like, a whole goddamn hour tickling parker’s back and eliot’s head. sometimes he says something like “i dunno, might get up for a snack” just to get a rise out of them, and when they moan “nooooOOOOOO” he says “is this all i am to you anymore??? just fake nails??????” and when they say yes he huffs and rolls his eyes but he’s also smiling. he loves seeing e&p all liquid and oozing into the couch, their brains practically drooling out of their ears (and—sometimes—real drool coming out of their mouths). they used to be soooo skittish years and years ago and now here he is with them wrapped allllll the way around his nicely manicured fingers. hey, yknow what?? he’s gonna start stocking up on press-ons. he can’t say he’s gonna keep up with the real nails once the job is over because they’re a bitch to type with, but he could glue some falsies on for a night and then just pick ’em off when he’s done. yeah, that’s an idea. because no way is this job gonna be the last time he does this for his loveys. no way no how. they are toooooo sweet like this. and they deserve the relaxation time too<3

“I asked ChatGPT-“ yeah okay I asked Victor Hugo and he talked about Waterloo for five hours

I worked in a supermarket for 7 years and I don't think I can understate just how much cleaning you had to do for it to look clean (it very often where not in the places you aren't supposed to see)

True for food service, retail establishments, gyms, outdoor areas, schools, religious buildings, office buildings, etc. People usually only notice when a space is NOT clean, meanwhile every time a space is clean it’s only because of the diligent work of janitors, maintenance staff, custodians, parks workers, or volunteers.

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

"they went from biology to physics" is an AMAZING turn of phrase

im about to maul someone.

"stories dont need conflict" girl anything can be a conflict if ur story is about chickens going on adventures the conflict is the fucking fence they gotta hop over. if ur story is about making a lovely cup of tea the conflict can be turning on the stove. like u literally cannot write a story without conflict

ALSO i hate mfers who say this shit and then go "thats why i like ghibli movies cuz theyve got no conflict" OH YOU MEAN HOWLS MOVING CASTLE, NAUSICAA, PRINCESS MONONOKEY CASTLE IN THE SKY ETC THAT ARE ALL ABOUT THE HORRORS OF WAR

even the ones that arent about the horrors of war. in kiki's delivery service kiki growing up and learning to trust people and accept help is the central conflict of the story!! my neighbour totoro's central conflict is how the girls are dealing with their mom being sick and the responsibility they feel this puts on them!! i could go on!!

Ah, the "greater Israel" conspiracy. Otherwise known as the paranoid conviction that the Jews are itching to take over the very places many Jews had to flee to Israel from due to the level of severe, violent antisemitism present there.