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I’ve been binge watching the trainwreck that is Millionaire Matchmaker to tide me through the end of the Summer TV Wasteland, and it’’s making me imagine what would happen if someone asked Commander to describe “his type”.

*dies in a bullshit way*

they dont want to seem like they are defending that persons actions, so they defend something meaningless, like their looks, or even finances.

its also another form of tone policing.

when an physically demonic looking white person does something reprehensible, seemingly “nice” white people will swoop in with their calls of “ now now everyone,dont call them ugly or you’re stooping to their level!”

or in the case of this white man who didnt want to seem racist,but felt the need to defend Darren Wilson any meager way he can , “corrected” me when i called the murderers wedding “lavish”. in the name of “being fair” he said.

this is a way for them to defend people the inwardly respect and even admire,while trying to come off “fair” and “good”.

dont fall for it.

and white people are using the soft defense of “well now yung lady, just because he’s being mean and not pursuing  justice for your father, doesnt mean you get to be a big meanie about it!”

its International Vulture Awareness Day so what better time to post drawings of Foxglove’s funeral directing vulture moms.

On the left is Ms. Fifteen-Stab-Wounds Hubris, funeral director, caterer, and grief counselor. she’s a black vulture who grew up on the island and prides herself in her knowledge of obscure burial practices. she’s very outgoing and positive, which is sometimes mistaken for naivete. a mistake she is all too willing to exploit when she wants to mess with someone. she likes rabbit bars and has a few fidgety rabbit mannerisms.

On the right is Ms. Irresponsible-Botany Hubris, grave slab constructor, medical examiner, and cleansing insect handler. she’s a leucistic turkey vulture who was born on the mainland but immigrated to the island with her parents when she was young. she’s an artist who’s a little better with animals than people. she’s soft spoken, loves watching fights, and makes all of Foxglove’s jewelry.

they’re both priestesses who met during their training in the holy city and bonded over their strange upbringings on the island. they decided to return home shortly after they finished their training when they heard a few funeral attendant positions had opened up.

these positions just happened to be the worst. low pay, no time off, terrible conditions, upset customers, just generally terrible management. they took every hit without complaint (at least not to their bosses faces) and went about their lives in saintly servitude to the dead as they learned the trade.

then they opened their own funeral home nearby and mercilessly ran them out of business.

they were married in the empty shell of their former workplace, now known as their bug kennel/craft room.

quick facts:

for vultures, first names are always causes of death. the parents usually pick these from a meal they had while gravid.

family names are a little more existential but pretty much the same thing. Irresponsible took Fifteen’s last name since she never really like Folly.

they have two other children besides Foxglove, twin boys named Bee-Stings and Baking-Accident. they are very proud of all three of them, even though Baking accident set fire to that one guy.