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orthoscheme

there are more weird small brown mammals than you could ever ever imagine

orthoscheme

You dont know this one

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libraford

A mole found its way into our house somehow and our cat has NO IDEA what to do about it.

libraford

Come to think of it, I also have no idea what to do about it.

libraford

If we're being really honest, the mole was also unclear of her motives, so I think we were all a bit confused.

dubiousculturalartifact

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

anyroads

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

homeofthebasin

I normally dislike these kinds of takes but this one works absurdly well. Who'd be the kind to brag with their full name to the cyclops? Who'd be immune to turning into a pig because they are already a pig? Who'd want to hear the sirens so badly that they'd tie themsleves to a mast just to ensure the sirens aren't as good singers as them? Who would get brutalized by hubris but still come home ready to kill a bunch of people for trying to get with their partner?

maddie-grove

I really like this website because somebody will be like “there’s nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic, bootlicker” and you can be like okay this clearly evolved from a valid point about how the US is too car-centric. But something happened to it.

jamiemccrimmon

decepticonsensual

Not to be all "the children have forgotten the sacred texts!" but I just saw someone refer to a ship between two people who are good friends in canon as a crackship.

Hon. No. Crackship doesn't just mean "not canon". It's difficult to imagine two people who spend significant canon time together as a crackship. Crackship is when you write Galactus getting fucked by Tony the Tiger.

decepticonsensual

Gotta say, my absolute favourite notes on this so far have been the number of people congratulating Tony on his rebound from the Grinch.

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tlirsgender

I'm not the first to point it out but fire lord ozai really had just a comically short reign. He fumbled it so badly. Imagine. You get the throne. You tell your gay son to go find a mythical hero who doesn't exist anymore so he'll stop embarrassing you & he really thinks he's gonna do it. Lol. Time to keep this war going for another hundred years. In the time it takes to crack your knuckles the fuckhead actually did it. But then he makes friends with the mythical hero who doesn't exist. And you're like hey wait. Stop that. You've already fumbled it unbelievably badly. Fucked it up on a scale most rulers could only dream of. You get pacifism blasted straight to hell. Your gay ass son is the new king. What the fuck. And then you like die in prison and nobody cares

tlirsgender

Cannot stress enough that he gave Zuko a purposefully impossible task (find the avatar) and three (3) years later he actually fucking did it. He gets like a messenger hawk or whatever saying hey the avatar is alive. Btw. & he's like what the fuck. & within six months of this he has fumbled not only the crown but also the war started by his great grandfather, ongoing for a full century, until YOU 🫵 (Ozai) tried to be funny. Little did he know the power of friendship was about to be hilarious

mankillercalledbunny

The answer to "How did these Ancient People do this????" is basically always

1. A lot of dudes. Just a ton of fucking people from beginning to end of the process.

2. Ancient people weren't stupid, they just figured shit out the same way we do: fuck around until you find out.

3. We're gonna plan this out and it's gonna take ten fucking years, and you will cope.

4. Sticks and string are surprisingly versatile and can be used for a variety of purposes, like moving stuff and making sure things are even and go in the spot you wanted to put them in!

5. I want to make this easier and more efficient to move. If I put this on the round thing and push, it will move. If I put this in water, it will move. If I get some animals and rope and have a whole bunch of them drag it, it will move. All of these things are a better option than one guy trying to pick the whole fucking thing up.

inkjie

soliloquy by an immortal cave painter.

pencil, ink, and ochre on paper

iphigeniacomplex

mind you before sinners we didn’t have definitive proof that it was possible to successfully make a movie in 2025

freakcliff

theee thing about spike is that sure he was evil but falling in love with buffy never fundamentally changed him hes doing literally the same thing he did for dru by changing his entire personality in pursuit of a girl he likes. hes literally always been this meme

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whetstonefires

the problem with knowing things about battle tactics is that an ever-increasing subset of popular media becomes impossible to enjoy properly because you have to sit there like 'wow Captain Protagonist good to know all those dead people on your own side are a direct result of your total lack of anything resembling brains'

whetstonefires

seriously i'm not talking about anything elaborate, just basic common sense, but common sense is so much harder to ignore once you've got systematized data to back it up, like

what do they even think a fortification is for???

what do you think a shield is for. what do you think ranged weapons are for????

make the other sonuvabitch have a hard time killing you without getting killed first! most basic goal of combat! why are movies so bad at writing characters who actually attempt this on even a very small 'army' scale?

whetstonefires

and like i said in the first post, it's not just that it's Dumb, the thing is that once you put the character in a command role, their ability to think their way through a combat situation with some degree of optimization becomes a reflection on their character on like. a moral level.

if your tactics are dumb and reckless but you usually win and it's just you punching people that's one thing. or even if it's you and five guys who've decided they like how you roll!

but if you are put in charge of soldiers. and you throw their lives away because you don't know what you're doing. that's not okay.

it's not always avoidable! one of the basic problems with armies! but when it happens in fiction it needs to be on purpose, to make sure the military elements of the narrative remain thematically congruent.

when you have a bit where Main Character is in command and then makes avoidable bad decisions and people die who didn't have to. either the protagonist has been put in a horrific position by whatever authority figure thrust them into a role they didn't want and weren't competent to handle, without support.

or the protagonist, voluntarily assuming a management job they suck at, has committed a grievous harm against others by not recognizing their own limitations.

even if they win! i don't want to be watching a movie where the main character squanders every tactical advantage and loses 40% of their forces totally unnecessarily for Narrative Tension, but the enemy retreats or gets eaten by a dragon or loses the MacGuffin or whatever, and then there's triumphant music and a party because They Won!!!

no! they fucked it up is what they did! this is some Light Brigade gaslighting shit! shut up. our boy just massacred people who trusted him.

chimaerakitten

This is reminding me of the extremely weird experience I had watching, of all things, The Kid Who Would Be King a couple months ago, because it was one of very few fantasy movies I’ve seen recently wherein actual tactical thinking is evidenced.

And like, granted, it wasn’t especially brilliant tactics, but it was weird as hell to be watching a bunch of middle schoolers fighting hell zombies display a better understanding of concepts like fortifications and ambushes and traps and bottlenecking an invading force than most purported “good leaders” in fantasy with far more adult target audiences

whetstonefires

#it is possible that the kids were good at tactics #because being a movie for kids meant NOT letting their Allies (other children) get massacred #for later dramatic payoff #so instead they’re allowed to make good choices and not die

rip that could very well be

arachcobra

It’s funny, despite being the grandad of the genre, I seem to remember Lord of the Rings doing battle strategies pretty well. The only big exception is when Aragorn challenged Sauron and that was deliberate to get the guy’s attention.

whetstonefires

Yeah, because Tolkien was 1) a soldier and 2) a medievalist and also 3) a person who gave a shit about things making internal sense, so he couldn't have abided writing really bad strategy that was meant to be read as good, and he was equipped to know the difference.

Most fantasy is not written from that baseline, and Tolkien while a huge influence is often overblown in terms of impact because he's a respectable antecedent as opposed to, say. Conan the Barbarian.

emilysidhe

Off topic, but this comment,

Tolkien while a huge influence is often overblown in terms of impact because he's a respectable antecedent as opposed to, say. Conan the Barbarian.

Actually explains so much the actual state of fantasy as a genre *and* why there’s such a huge difference between public perceptions of Tolkien’s work and what’s actually in the books

everythingfox

He’s so cool

tractorgoth

nucleartourist

toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account

the fact that on my way out of seeing the hadestown proshot with my sibling i was walking to the theater exit and without even thinking about it i turned around to see where they were... yeah. yeah.

toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account

like. you can be frustrated at orpheus. you can be heartbroken for orpheus and eurydice. you should be. but when you're walking together and your loved one isn't right next to you that instinct to turn around and check on them is as natural as breathing

json-derulo

my top travel tip I've never seen anyone else recommend is: choose a lamb to slaughter.

now, it's important to note that you can't just pack or buy something with the sole intention of leaving it behind to appease the forces of chaos. nor can you throw that candy wrapper in the hotel room trash can and call it even; if it's indisputably garbage, it doesn't count. the sacrifice must be chosen from among the actual belongings you brought with you, and you shouldn't designate it until you're packing up to leave.

with your eleven o'clock checkout time or uber ride to the airport fast approaching, take a final, grim inventory. the ideal lamb to slaughter is something small, lightweight, easily replaceable. of little monetary and no sentimental value. a spare USB-C cable that's sorta worse for wear, but still works. one of those little travel toothpastes—not quite empty yet, but you can snag another at any drugstore. the nub of an eyeliner pencil you could've used for another week.

take the lamb out of your bag, kiss it goodbye, and place it on the nightstand or bathroom counter or wherever you would've left it if you'd just accidentally overlooked it while packing up. then, to karmically cancel out any additional effort the housekeeping staff will have to expend to dispose of your lamb, gather up all the sheets and towels in one easy-to-grab pile on top of the bed, and leave.

I used to lose stuff every time I traveled, and they were usually things I'd actually miss! but it hasn't happened once since I adopted this superstition a few years ago. and sure, the practical explanation is that it naturally forces you to think about everything you brought with you and check in the places you'd be most likely to leave them. whatever. I find it way more fun to believe the universe craves chaos and blood and expensive prescription eyeglasses yet is reasonable enough to be negotiated down to a half-spent ballpoint pen instead

stephexmachina

when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.

stephexmachina

AND SO IS BEING SOMEBODY'S MOTHER‼️

stephexmachina

it is about being a woman. hope that helps!

vibrantstarfire

reading comprehension questions for the notes:

is wanting to be a wife and mother a requirement for being a woman?

why might OP be annoyed with replies assuming that this post is about being aroace or transmasc if a woman doesn’t want to be a wife or mother?

are there reasons unrelated to sexuality and romantic interest that might make a woman not want to be a wife or mother?

are there reasons unrelated to gender identity and expression that might make a woman not want to be a wife and mother?

core concept: what is gender essentialism?

is it gender essentialism to imply that all women inherently want to be wives and mothers? could this be what OP is critiquing?

look at the notes OP responds to. is it gender essentialism to imply that being a wife and mother is so affixed to womanhood that to not want to be those things means you’re incapable of sexual/romantic feelings, or not a woman?

what trait are you perpetuating when you assume that women who do not want to be wives and mothers must be aroace or trans? is it gender essentialism?

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senatortedcruz

Wonderful photo

disgruntled-neighborhood-wife

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

squareallworthy

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.