woooOoOoOoOOOsleep deprivation

being very fat means that sometimes you will encounter a chair that is so spindly, so fragile, so delicate. sometimes you will encounter a chair that is made of matchsticks and dreams. and has a seat the size of an ipad. a chair that resembles a newly born deer taking its first shaky steps. being very fat means that sometimes a thin person will offer this chair to you as a seat and not even think about it. meanwhile you, the fat person, if you listen very closely and with an open heart, can actually hear the chair whimpering and coughing like a sick victorian child. a thin person will offer this chair to you, a very fat person, and you have to look at them. and then the chair. and then your hips. and back at them. and be like. let's be real. can we please be real for a second. can we please use our spatial awareness right now. like it's okay we are allowed to use our spatial awareness when it comes to my ass. it's all good.

Up late singing and microwaving loud as fuck

Moved out so I could be loud! But now I have a husband that I love so so much I refuse to wake him up with loud even if i really really want to.

Im going to come to your house and wake your stupid ass husband up

Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man

reaching up to get it off of the fridge and the big tshirt im wearing as pyjamas rides up and the reader sees my panties

knowing when not to open the comments is a skill

blocking tip: you don't have to wait to have a negative interaction with someone to block them. you can block them without ever interacting with them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone being rude to someone else and preemptively blocked them

"why'd they block me? we've never talked" bro if i see you being nasty to the bartender i'm not gonna chat you up