Unbutton Thy Pants & Let That Belly Out 🥵🤩

The 'girlfriend effect' isn't a biological phenomenon, you pathetic excuse for an athlete, it’s just the sound of your discipline evaporating the moment you found someone willing to tolerate your mediocrity. You didn't just let yourself go, you collapsed. You went from having a core of steel to a core of soft-serve, and now your chest looks like a pair of sourdough loaves fighting for space under a cheap t-shirt, fatso. Calling it the 'girlfriend effect' is the most cowardly way of saying: 'I have the willpower of a toddler in a candy store and no longer have the discipline to lift anything heavier than a fork.' You’re not a former athlete, you’re a cautionary tale in a gym-shark shirt that's screaming for mercy across your stomach. Those aren't moobs, chubbs, they're emotional support pillows for the ego you lost along with your abs. You didn't get comfortable in the relationship, you just became a human beanbag. The only thing 'ripped' about you now is the seam on your favorite pair of jeans, pudgemaster.

I love seeing the transformation over time

I’m gonna give you some advice, bro. When you have a fat body like that, it’s better to not flaunt all that chub around shirtless in your too tight swimming trunks anymore. Maybe you’d better spend that time in the gym to try to work all those excess pounds off, instead of only taking in more calories at the beach, fatso.

He can’t get enough of his own pudge, it seems. He’s constantly touching and squeezing it. That’s the reason they don’t want you as a model anymore, tubbs. Maybe you can try plussize modeling?