The Witch Hunter

this is a very relatable meme but i cannot stress enough that if you haven’t watched the good place you’re going to be very surprised to learn what words are being replaced here

official boob post

Babe, are you okay? You reblogged Nick Barlow’s Clusterfuck/Keep It Together again

tbh it’s a red flag that the inventor of chiropractic got the idea from a ghost. bones are like the #1 thing ghosts don’t have

You're just saying that because your a sick pervert who gets off to themes and ideas

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

Don't be shackled by the idea that going out can only be done with a group of friends, learn to feel comfortable going alone [remembers that encouraging consumerism isn't progressive] into the deep dark woods

Cecil Gershwin Palmer, character of all time. He's gay. He has lyme disease. He's a PTA uncle. He's terrified of mirrors and for good reason. He's a cat dad. He's a DAD dad. He fell in love with his husband the first time he laid eyes on him. He got a barber run out of town. He regularly leaks classified police and government information on his radio show but kept his adopted son secret for ages. He has a complicated and tumultuous relationship with his mother. He's a gossipy bitch. He's in love with the job he was destined and cursed to have. He wears fanny packs. He's cried on air as many times as he's laughed. He has a true crime podcast. He calls his husband Kittycake. He has been a my fictional friend for over ten years.

he's helping!

i fuckign queued this and forgot abt it and got scared cuz i thought i was hacked or smth. anyways happy june eleventh

reblog while its still true 

wait one fucking second it is June 10th the time police lied to me

I need to hit eva stratt with a car [remembers that people might read that as "I want to brutalize a woman for being mean" and not "I want to put Character in a Situation"] hit her with a car lovingly [remembers I do actually sympathize with grace's whole deal and that was pretty fucked] but not too lovingly [remembers about the 4.5 billion people] well unless she'd like it to be more loving [remembers about antarctica and the sahara] wait I probably can't hit her with a car if she's in jail [remembers that I believe in restorative justice] she should be mitigating the harm caused by her actions instead of being in jail [remembers I'm a prison abolitionist] no one should be in jail [remembers what this post was about] I need to hit a jail with a car [remembers I can't drive] I need to hit a jail with a bicycle and also eva stratt is there

I need to hit ryland grace with a car [remembers pure sweet fuck all] why am I on a spaceship with mysteriously well toned muscles

#you try to hit eva stratt with your bicycle but she’s dutch so she parries and sends you flying into a canal #there wasn’t even a canal there the dutch can just do that (via @abstracted-psychopomp)

​hold on i have to look something up

yeah he’s autistic