oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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$LAYYYTER
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almost home
if i look back, i am lost
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@noodlersjones
Homosexuality explained in a German Children’s Book
‘he tells me jokes, just like dad does’ so this poor kid has to put up with two, maybe three times the dad jokes
That book is called Daddy’s Roommate. And it is one of the books that gets destroyed the most in libraries, forcing libraries to have to purchase it again. That’s right–homophobes keep destroying it, forcing people to buy more copies, which in turn keeps it in print.
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Organize. Unions work.
Like no offense to my friends and family but if I had the chance to abandon this timeline for a medieval fantasy land I would absolutely do it, goodbye student loans and depression hello cool magic shit and most likely an early death by the sword (as it should be)
Have fun shitting in outhouses and losing loved ones to the plague™
medieval fantasy, not actual medieval times you impudent fool
Have fun crapping in outhouses and losing loved ones to the Goblin Raiders™
That’s more the fuck like it
On the plus side, a lot of them have cool afterlives.
please read this story of a man accidentally discovering his wife is the world's best Tetris player
[image description: an excerpt of text that says:
“It’s funny,” I told Flewin. “We have an old Nintendo Game Boy floating around the house, and Tetris is the only game we own. My wife will sometimes dig it out to play on airplanes and long car rides. She’s weirdly good at it. She can get 500 or 600 lines, no problem.”
What Flewin said next I will never forget.
“Oh, my!”
/end id]
TL;DR on the article
The husband was writing an article on classic video game records, was surprised to find out that holding the Tetris record is a bit of a big deal, and mentions how good his wife is at it.
The guy he’s talking to mentions that the record is 327, way lower than his wifes usual scores of 500-600.
They travel to a tournament, and she goes to do her attempt. Just after she beats 327, and is climbing higher, a judge brings up to the husband that the specific version she’s playing actually has a different record of 545.
She overhears that she needs to beat 500-something, and keeps going, setting the record at 841.
I reblogged this last month, tagged it, and said “might as well see if it works.” I used this video as a reference to find all the forms that i needed (which is A LOT, especially if you’re a dependent) and sent them through the mail, not really allowing myself to hope.
dude.
$2,714 of medical debt from my top surgery - gone. im shaking this was such a weight on me for 2 years and it fucking worked. what the fuck.
re-reblogging and thinking about when i have another collection agency calling that i can just do this
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this video has cosnsistently made me lose it every single time I watch it since yesterday
cw: loud
Where that New England Gothic post
my personal favorite
Actors are too scared to be hammy these days I'm tired of people mumbling. Bring back that shakespearean shit. Enunciate like your life depends on it. I have audio processing disorder
AND I'm gay
hey. don't cry. I went to Mad At You island and none of your friends were there :)
why were you at mad at me island
clean-up duty
i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.
we built dick city
we built dick city on cock and balls
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Just when you thought cinema wins couldn't get cooler.
It's also harmful to Jewish people. The plot is just so, so wildly antisemitic.
And don't forget the general racism, fatphobia, etc.
Don't pirate anything Harry Potter related either. That still keeps her franchise relevant and gives her support, which she takes to be support of her views.
We really need to stop forgetting about the antisemitism
This is the most jaw dropping AITAs I’ve seen what the hell
Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated
Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-
Me: he needs to be sedated
Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-
Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off
Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate
Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him
Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him
Me:
A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file
Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:
Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasn’t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears
Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night
Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldn’t/wouldn’t move when we found him in the morning
Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels
Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash
Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4
Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasn’t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack
Tricked me into loving him forever anyway
Ripped an escape hole
in the patio screen door
in a single night
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!
Wow, amazing job Lily! No one will find that walnut now!
You'll never guess what happened next
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Caption: [Riddle me this, liberal. How child tremsgemder... when favorite movie at... six years old Barbie Mariposa? How child transgem when favorite color of kool aid pink lemonade? How-how not girl when in girl scout at twelve have pretty eye badonkerhers (rustling fabric) pretty pretty walky thumpers? How? How child not girl when hang out with sister? And cry sometime? How-how child... teakettle? When like book? Ho-how. How child... thermometer... when cannot kill spider? Have no primal hunting instinct, child no. Checkmate, liberal.]
This isn’t even parody it’s just how conservatives sound.
(op uses he/they pronouns!)
Yikes
the exclusionists have won. They’ve excluded everyone. My god.
For reference, “allos” = “allosexual” = “anyone who isn’t asexual / isn’t on the asexual spectrum” so, according to whichever galaxy-brained exclusionist wrote the screenshotted post, no one who’s ace or who isn’t ace is LGBT. Not a single one of us
By Allos, this can’t be happening
