Guys, I wanna write my own book and I have everything outlined and I just-
Yes, I love my world and characters, but they aren't my blorbos. I don't wanna write this. I WANT TO WRITE MOLLYMAUK HAVING A GOOD TIME!!
IF I COULD GET EVEN A QUARTER AS MUCH WRITING DONE TO MY ACTUAL BOOK AS I DO MY MOLLYMAUK/KINSLEY/LUCIEN FANFICS, ID HAVE A THREE BOOK SERIES BY NOW!!
I know I can write long stories with over arching plots, powerful conversations, and engaging moments. I know cause I do it as a hobby. So why is it failing now that I need to do it? Why can't it seems as good as the fanfic I re-read.
Yes, I re-read my own fanfics cause I made them and they cater to my taste. Who wouldn't?
Either way, I just find myself getting really irritated at myself. Because I know I can sit down and write for 3 days straight. Why can't I do it for the book I am pouring all my hopes and dreams into? Why isn't that occupying my mind in the same way. I've drawn these characters. Filled them out and made them rounded as best I could. I made them from pieces of myself. Shouldn't that make it easier?
Okay this drove me nuts for years but I think I cracked it for myself last year (ymmv obvs, we are all different)
It’s simple: fanfic is less work in the same way that rp is less work than writing fanfic. Someone else is there with you, taking part of the load
It’s not all on you to build and carry the emotional weight, you’re already coming in with a love of the characters and the way they’ve developed and where you’re going, and you know everyone who reads it has that too
Someone else has lifted one end of the beam for you, and given you these wonderful characters you can put in any AU until you basically are writing an original novel but with those familiar faces
It’s very intimidating to know you’re the only person who’ll be creating that world for a book, even if you love it and you adore your world and your creations
No one else has the other side of the beam
Even taking them from yourself, telling yourself their stories and histories and knowing everything about them, you’re the only one who knows right now and you can’t predict how people will react to them
(And that’s scary too, because when you put so much of yourself into something what if it flops? What if no one else likes it, or they interpret things differently? What if people Read It Wrong and decide your well rounded well built characters are flat and one dimensional because they’re not interested in the depth)
Original fiction is a much bigger risk, and doesn’t come with a community built in to gush about your ideas at 2am and encourage you to do deranged things to your characters
It takes longer to build up steam when it’s just you stoking the fire, and that’s okay. That’s normal, and it’s good.
Original fiction and fanfiction are two very different beasts and honestly? Doing both for 20 years? The skillsets are comparable and getting better at one will help your technical ability with the other, but the process isn’t remotely similar
You can’t juice yourself up for original work by trawling tumblr, looking at art, or screaming into a discord, so all that energy has to come from inside you. It will come, and the more passion you can build, and the more outside sources like beta readers and friends you can enthral, the easier it’ll be
There’s nothing to feel bad about. You love your story, your world, your characters in the very best way possible. It’s just the difference between working alone and having a crew in the stands, however big or small, screaming and cheering you on
You’ll still get to the end given time, energy, and kindness to yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with honing your skills with 200k of fanfiction in the meantime
(Also you can’t do oneshots of your novel-length-story characters until you finish the novel length story and that fucking sucks)
(I mean you could my fairy bard mother stuff is still out there but no one Gets It yet)
