a calculated hot mess

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

*producer about to make one of the worst seasons of television ever put to screen* surely writing purely in reaction to what the fans are saying on twitter will work out great for us this time

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

the mark of a real actor is if they did theater before they hit it big and continue doing theater after. if they didn’t do theater before, then they are hacks and if they stop doing theater after, then they are dilettantes who lucked out. obviously this applies to all actors ever and there are no exceptions.

my interview with the new ppl went so bad lmaooooooo

i forgot i was being suggested for a managerial position and had literally nothing to say when they asked me manager questions. i totally forgot to tell them that i had tried their product before and liked it. i rambled for like 3 minutes about how annoyed i was with the current owners. legendary flop performance ngl

i didn’t know perez hilton was a stage name that he purposefully modelled after paris hilton’s real name i thought she just organically had an evil gay wario or something

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her