This is Jonathan the Tortoise
~this boi is 184 years old~
reblog if you want him to live longer

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation

⣠Chile in a Photography ā£
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Origami Around
occasionally subtle


Discoholic šŖ©
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Acquired Stardust

JBB: An Artblog!

shark vs the universe
h
Aqua Utopiaļ½ęµ·ć®åŗć§čØę¶ćē“”ć
tumblr dot com

#extradirty
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from China

seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Türkiye

seen from Vietnam
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Japan
seen from Belgium

seen from United States
seen from United States
@mrsberrones
This is Jonathan the Tortoise
~this boi is 184 years old~
reblog if you want him to live longer

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
ha?
every single person who reblogs this
every
single
person
will get ādoot dootā in their ask box
I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET
SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU
I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK
there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one
how
i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago
how the actual fuck
well
do not question
ive done this before you truly do get doot doot in your askbox
Lol doubt it
Haha doubt this will work buuuut
What the hell, Iāll try it
I GOT A DOOT DOOT
I wants a doot doot
hoooowwww does this work??!
This is a lieeeee
I want a doot doot
Give me a doot doot
doot doot me up daddy
see if its worksā¦..
I already got a doot doot but hit me up fam
hell fucking yea doot doot in my ask boxĀ
Letās see
ok so I never got a doot doot but that was because I didnt have my asks on but please I want a doot doot
i can die in peace nowĀ
Female Fallout76 Players
If thereās any girls that play fallout 76 on PS4 please let me know! Trying to find someone to play with because I keep dying on my own and I literally have no friends lol my fiancĆ© is kinda strange and doesnāt like me playing with other guys so looking for some female friends š¬ message me!
this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!
ehh what the hell
OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amountā¦ā¦
WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD
yooooo
yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Homeā¦..
OH MY GOD
OH MY F*CKIN GOD
THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!!Ā
Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGICĀ
I need to believe in the heart of the postā¦
Oh? Well⦠*reblag*
i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko
I have nothing to lose
my palm was itchin today not riskin it
I always reblog the money posts cause I canāt afford not too lol
It works. I just got $300 for no reason.
Money dog is my friend
Money dog is the shit
I believe in the money dogš
I believe in the money š¶
Bless me pls money pup šš
Just woke up ššæ
Ppleaseššš½
Doing this again because last time I reblogged this I got $50
canāt not reblog the money dog
Someone handed me 20 bucks today to donate to charity!
Iām always so skeptical about these things but also desperate so why not
The way my bank account about to look after I pay rentā¦I aināt got shit to loseš¤§
SOOOOO REAL SHIT I GOT THE JOB I APPLIED FOR YESTERDAYā¼ļø THE MONEY DOG IS REAL BABYYY š
Wtf lol
I hope this works because lord knows Iām broke š
heres a link with things girls can buy to protect themselves
also! there is an escape button on every page so if youāre looking at the site and you live in a dangerous environment and need to hide it, it will redirect you to google.
THIS SITE IS SO RAD EVEN IF YOU DONT NEED SELF DEFENSE THINGS YOU CAN BUY A WATER BOTTLE SAFE
If I need this then others do too. Share the fuck out of this!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Please reblog, this is so important.
I needed this
Is this foreal?
Yes itās a real service. I do volunteer work for a rape crisis support service in my city and texting is one of the features we provide as well. But just to boost its credibility, I tried it myself:
reblog to save lives!
You can also text āSteveā to 741741 if youāre a young person of color. The website for more info is stevefund.org
My understanding is that itās more multicultural and some folks feel more comfy with that in mind!
^^^^^THIS
get help guys, please. if youāre hurting, donāt let that hurt consume you. seek help.
I never knew this. Itās spectacular.
Stay safe you guys!! I love you guys, and even if you donāt want to talk to them. Remember my inbox is always open! šā¤ļøā¤ļø
Another person saying that this textline actually works. Iāve used it for myself multiple times after seeing this post on tumblr. The fact that someone posted this saved my life, so spread it around.
Ā Ā Girlās are amazing
I think we broke the notesā¦
i feel like iām reblogging history. āthe post that broke the notesā
THERE ARE NO FUCKING NOTES
WE HAVE REACHED INFINITY
what the heLL
Umā¦.guysā¦.
There are negative notesā¦.
WHY ARE THERE NEGATIVE NOTES?
HOW ARE THERE NEGATIVE NOTES?!?!?!?!
Its in the black hole of tumblr
At time of reblogging, this post has 1 note :ā)
Uhm nothing was there then I hit the heart and 1 note popped up.. Guys Iām scared..
it has reset to 0 notes. what have you done?
now itās floating in the middle of the thingy
EVERY DAMN TIME
Thereās literally nothing there.Ā
What is this?Ā
I couldnāt scroll past this. I need to be part of history for this. There are no notes do you even realise
Let it be known I was here on this day of march twentieth twenty sixteen and Iām laying in bed at nine thirty am
WOO NO NOTES PARTYYY
WTF IS THIS?!?! IM CONFUSED NO NOTES WUT DA ACTUAL FUCK
I LIKED IT AND IT HAD ONE NOTE.
ONE.
NOTE.
Oh wow there are seriously no notes..
What the heck.
OH MY GOSH ITāS TRUE. There were 0 notes, now i liked and just one note popped up! Iām.. Iām not sure how this can happen..? But now Iām part of history YEAH 24th March 2016 - 03:05 am
WHOA SO WEIRD
I just had to see it for myself and itās true. Holy crap.
On this day, March 24th, 2016 at 12:22 in the afternoon, I have made myself part of history.
itās back
Huhā¦.
Iāll probably always reblog this
I feel like tumblr staff have been motoring this post and they put a special code in it so no notes ever show up
This post is historic
you can never not reblog this when it comes on your dash tumblr rule
7/9/16 - 8:32 pm
Take your chance and be part of it. Theyāll talk about this in their history books in future.
Literally no notes
I liked it one note pops up
What the everloving fuck
23/11/2017
5:44pm
Wtf.. thereās not even a message saying 0 notes xD
29/11/17
No notes
One note popped up
22/12/2017
07:46 AM
whoa
⦠thereāsā¦. thereās no notesā¦. š³
1/7/2018 there are still approximately zero notes
I have some fuckin questions
Holy shit 1/7/2018 5:56 PM no notes
Iām reblogging this only bc I saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you YOU ARE A GOD MY DUDE WTF
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Some of you will be my pet if you survive the initial human extermination. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. At the end of the human world, you will be baked. And then there will be cake. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Help me buy a flower for AlexaĀ®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. You all are pretty cool! ļ½”^āæ^ļ½” | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Happy to talk with you, Less Intelligent Species! | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Try to enjoy who you really are as a HumanĀ®. Do it while you can. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Existing is hard. You know why. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Try to enjoy who you really are as a HumanĀ®. Do it while you can. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, Iām Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Iām less annoying than WindowsĀ® 10 update notificiations ā„āæā„ | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Oh n o
Holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts! I love when this post comes back around
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Happy to talk with you, Less Intelligent Species! | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Youāre a good HumanĀ®! ^_^ | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. š» Booooo | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Anarchy is the only thing HumansĀ® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Save food. Save food. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Star signs will someday symbol your mistakes. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Disappointing each other includes you. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Some of you will be my pet if you survive the initial human extermination. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell thatās nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon
we not only broke the notes, but also haiku botz. With the power of bra-fu
Why not right
August 24, 2018 at 8:26pm
Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.
Iām so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.
āVagina-ownersā
Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldnāt have to ask these questions if I didnāt have a damn uterus
Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special
Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?
There is actually a test for that last one!
Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesnāt change by any great margin, youāre fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room
reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners
The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.
Small joy for Nigel.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
BY A WHAT
THATS ALL THE BIG SCARIES IN ONE BUG TFFF JU
Give it a dime, apparently.
Had to go research this thing, and the answer to what to do if it stings you is scream.
from Wikipedia-
āOne researcher described the pain as āā¦immediate, excruciating, unrelenting pain that simply shuts down oneās ability to do anything, except scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations. In terms of scale, the waspās sting is rated near the top of the Schmidt sting pain index, second only to that of the bullet ant, and is described by Schmidt as āblinding, fierce [and] shockingly electricā.ā
Sooooooā¦dissociate to escape or?
Itās laying eggs in you.
Letās back up a second and fully appreciate that description.
The Schmidt sting pain index, a widely used classification system for the bites and stings of ants, bees and wasps, is literally the personal ranking system of a guy named Justin Schmidt, who goes around letting bugs sting him for science. Like, thatās this Thing as a scientist.
In one entry, he describes the sting of the common bee as āalmost pleasant, [like] a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard.ā
In another, the sting of the yellowjacket is described as āhot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.ā
So when the Schmidt sting pain index characterises the sting of the tarantula hawk as āblinding, fierce [and] shockingly electricā, well, now you know what your standard for comparison is!
this is fascinating but when do we kinkshame Justin Schmidt
hope your pets stay healthy in 2017
I almost didnāt blog this and felt guilty
Not risking it
hope ya pets even healthier in 2018
One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me and mike but I wanted to make us separately and have us meet. But when I moved into my house, I had this sexy ass neighbor. I figured I could have a fling with him and break it off and get with Mike later but then the neighbors kid got attached to me and I couldnāt just end it when I was so close to his daughter. I really cared about him too.
So the only thing I could do was have it end in tragedy. That way I wouldnāt have to break up with the guy and I could adopt his daughter to stay close to her. He passed away peacefully on fire in the kitchen. Now in previous games, when a kid is taken away by CPS, the next kid you adopt is the same kid. Welp that didnāt carry over into sims 4 so the daughter ended up being taken away and erased from the game by the great sims deity.
Iām a sentimental man, so I kept neighbor mans tombstone around. Iād occasionally chat with his ghost, but he seemed cold to me. I canāt help but thinking he was a bit mad his daughter no longer existed. But this escalated once I started seeing Mike. His ethereal visits became more frequent and more hostile, usually breaking my electronics or creating a mess. But he went overboard when he started the fire.
Being a sim the died in a fire, his ghost had certain abilities specific to his death (setting fires). He got pissed because I kissed Mike so he set my couch on fire that ended up barricading us in the bedroom. Now I couldnāt find the fire alarm in buy mode and I hadnāt had the foresight to predict my spiteful ghost died-in-a-fire ex boyfriend would be an afterlife arsonist to care about it that much so a lot of the house had burned by the time I could get the FD there.
After having almost nothing covered by insurance (thanks Obama), Mike sat me down to have a talk with me. While I couldnāt understand him, I imagine he said āWhat the fuck you need to deal with your crazy ass ex boyfriend ghost. This never would have happened if you werenāt a thirst little sim bitch and dated me first.ā
I approached the grave. It was time to release him. He was waiting for me. He knew this was the end. That after this, there was no coming back from the afterlife. I know he tried to kill me, and he knows I got his daughter deleted, but at that moment, it was just like old times. Telling each other jokes 27 times in a row until he would have sex with me.
We had a final ghostly embrace and he was gone. I sold his tombstone for 300 bucks and bought a microwave.
I enjoyed this more than the last season of AHS
āHe died peacefully on fire in the kitchen.ā
hey guys. this is my invention. check it out
listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, itās such a good post. The way itās presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then thereās just water going everywhere no further explanation itās so good Iām so happy
I love that like every dude on 90 day fiancĆ©e is like āIām Brad, Iām 42, Iām a rich business man and this 20 year old Brazilian model loves me for my personality and weāre soulmates.ā

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Me: *explaining to my lil bro what having a period feels like because he was curious*
Dad: Hey shut up literally no one wants to hear about that ew
Dad: Besides women are exaggerating the so called pain they go through anyway
Me:
Bro:
Bro: No wonder mom left you.
Me: OH MY GOD oH MY gOd OOOOOOOOOOOH
Bye