Single & Gay vs Single & Straight
Many members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints seem to think that as long as theyโre both beingย โchaste,โ that thereโs no real difference for single people who are gay or straight. The Law of Chastity applies equally to both.ย
Probably the biggest difference is that within the Church the straight person has a clear path they can follow and the gay person does not.ย
Letโs say itโs a straight man. He can date women, fall in love, get married & possibly have children. These are all ways to express his attraction, his orientation.
As a married man, in the church he may have the opportunity to serve as a bishop, stake president, or mission president, all positions forbidden to an unmarried man.ย
There is no path inside the church for a gay person to fully express their orientation, in fact, doing so may result in their expulsion from the church. Their orientation is just as natural and normal as anybodyโs. Their desire for romance, sex, relationship, and/or family is just as strong and beneficial and God-given as anyone elseโs. However, they are forbidden fromย โacting on it,โ and that means theyโre also restricted from achieving the top goals of their religion.ย
Gay members exist on an island where they are not included in Godโs Plan, at least not as the Church teaches it. They are to live a life and hear teachings that are actually harmful to their well-being. What is their purpose in life? What are they meant to do? Surely being miserable for Christ isnโt what loving Heavenly Parents want for their lives.
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Well, I said thereโs no path inside the church, but there is one, which is to act as if they are straight and marry someone of the opposite biological sex. History shows that the overwhelming majority of these marriages fail, at some point the gay partner stops wanting to live aย โlie,โ and finds that not being authentic about how they experience romance, attraction, sexuality, and so on is causing them distress.
Iโve heard the comments of straight members who think the gay partner should just suck it up and remain in the marriage, but what if the situation was reversed? What if a straight person was living like theyโre gay, will their orientation ever change to be gay? Is it likely that at some point theyโll tire of this and want to more fully express themselves as straight? Breaking up a family is painful, but would a straight person be seen sympathetically for wanting to live as a straight person?