Nerdy Gay Mormon

Peter had a temper;

David had an affair;

Noah got drunk;

Jonah ran away from God;

Paul was a murderer;

Gideon was insecure;

Miriam was gossiper;

Martha was a nerve wreck;

Thomas was a doubter;

Sarah was impatient;

Elijah was depressed;

Moses stuttered;

Zaccheus was short;

Abraham was old and

Lazarus was dead.

So I’ve been reading terf rhetoric (Not a recommended activity) and learning a lot of new vocabulary. Also, really being kind of surprised at some of the firm opinions re: the trans experience (from people who have not experienced it). But some questions seem worth responding to:

Why are trans women so overly feminine in their presentation sometimes? We’ve spent a lot of time and effort convincing people gender isn’t based on rainbow-heart-sparkle-unicorns so what’s the idea with embracing feminine stereotypes and calling that your gender?

There’s a problem here with stereotyping trans-women (the trans experience is diverse). But I understand a bit where you’re going. Some personal thoughts:

1. Trans women learn about being girls from media and magazine covers too. Our impressions of how women should act and behave are further skewed by the patriarchy we are raised to join.

2. Young women typically have figures in their lives that teach them women don’t have to be a certain way. We often get the opposite programming. Without an opportunity to adjust to the lived experience when we are young, we may have a poor starting point.

3. I happen to like lipstick and heels. I have never claimed my presentation is my gender. Quite the opposite.

4. Imagine a long desert crossing. You’re burning up, filthy dirty, exhausted and almost out of your mind with thirst. Then you encounter a clean pool of sparkling water in a beautiful oasis. You might just go a little overboard when diving in yourself. “But that’s the wrong pool!” says a certain type of feminist. Maybe… but see points 1 and 2 above and the final paragraph below.

5. And when you’re beginning something, you often don’t get it just right, no matter what area of life we’re talking about. (special thanks to all the women who have been kind and supported me. I have learned so much from you!)

6. Part of my presentation is getting rid of masculinity as thoroughly as possible. Removing body hair and concealing masculine characteristics while emphasizing feminine primary and secondary sexual characteristics (smooth skin and profile, hip/waist ratio, bust line) are part of that embrace. Same with classically feminine displays of clothing, hairstyles and cosmetics. Those visual cues help people perceive and treat me as a woman. Which is what I want.