Nerdy Gay Mormon

This is the third message to me and again it shows a lack of critical thinking or understanding complexity. You state “facts” which are easily disproved with a simple internet search and you exaggerate things to the point of absurdity in order to make the world seem quaintly black or white.

I did you the favor of responding to your previous two messages with respect and explanation, I responded as though you wanted a sincere response despite the tone of the messages. Since you didn’t comprehend the lessons I was sharing and failed to respond to the points I made, I’m assuming your worldview is too brittle to survive nuance and therefore you push away any idea that challenges your simplistic understanding.

I accept that remaining in a church that actively promotes homophobia & transphobia is a form of passive complicity. From an outside perspective, my presence can be seen as tacit approval of the church's teachings and I am part of a community that creates an unsafe environment for queer individuals.

I'm not silently standing by as harmful policies are enacted, I challenge the homophobic & transphobic teachings and attitudes. Also, unlike your accusation, I don't encourage gay people to remain. Most of my queer friends have left this church and I'm happy for them. As for me being in "church leadership," I'm a secretary, I have no authority other than being able to share my viewpoint in meetings when leaders council together.

I don't think that abandoning spaces entirely to homophobes is beneficial to vulnerable individuals, particularly those who are queer, young & required to attend by their family or who are in the closet. I provide an alternate viewpoint and an affirming voice.

I admit that there is a cost to leaving as it would damage ties with my family and friends, and would also mean abandoning my cultural upbringing. But also, I've paid a high price for being in this church, I've had many mental health issues because of it and am still dealing with the effects.

It's easy to stand on the outside and make judgements, I'm glad it seems simple to you. You're not the one who has to deal with the costs of staying or leaving. I do weigh the personal costs of staying versus the benefits, and whether the difference I can make as an insider is outweighed by the passive complicity.

Paying tithing to the LDS Church is a thing that I've wrestled with many times over the decades.

Before 2015, for many years I did not pay any tithing because I refused to donate to a church which used its funds to fight against equal rights for gay people. Once the Supreme Court made gay marriage the law of the land and the LDS Church stepped back from telling people to vote against legal protections for gay people, I then revisited whether to pay tithing.

Why would I pay tithing to the LDS Church? Most of what those funds are used for are things like paying for the building and utilities, for supplies, for youth activities, for education. Also, the LDS Church has a large network of food assistance to help people during times of financial hardship. Another reason is that paying a tithe lets me serve in positions which put me in situations I can voice my queer perspective. I don't get to direct how the tithing donation will be spent, so yes, it's something I struggle with, but if I'm still part of this organization then I want to use my voice to influence it to do better.

There are times I have paid tithing to the LDS Church and also made what I think of as an offsetting donation to other organizations. Sometimes I paid tithing to a different church or to non-profits, somewhere it will be used for purposes like feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, sheltering the vulnerable.

Since it's related to your question, yes, the LDS Church and BYU have a horrible history in regards to conversion therapy. They are responsible for much harm and even deaths.

We should also point out that the LDS Church announced in 2019 that it opposes conversion therapy and its therapists no longer practice it. In 2020, after negotiations with LDS Church leaders, LGBTQ leaders in Utah, and Utah lawmakers, a compromise was reached to pass a state law banning licensed therapists from practicing conversion therapy on minors in Utah.