constantly confused

kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

worst part of being an adult is how often youre forced to nag. you Have to be annoying or youre never getting anything done. which is unfortunate considering how common it is to teach kids to never nag and be annoying ever

a professional i am paying money doesnt show up w zero communication and IM the one who has to feel guilty for having to call him and ask whats going on. because when i was a little kid i would get yelled at for nagging. joke world

I feel like tumblr should be bigger fans of The Blues Brothers. It's a movie that has everything we value as a community. Attention and respect to pioneering black musicians, open hostility to nazis, open defiance to police, Carrie Fisher with a rocket launcher and flamethrower, a soundtrack that goes hard as hell, John Belushi so blasted on cocaine that he continues to do somersaults despite having a broken ankle. It's got it all!

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

Oh HELL yes.

*guy who doesn't know anything about sports and has never cared about sports in his life* hey did you know womens professional baseball is returning after 70 years and the games are going to be streamed for free on youtube and the season starts august 1st

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

This post made my water break

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

WHAT

God, I love this accursed website.

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

Happy July 2nd, 2024, guess Marceline is 7 now

Happy July 2nd, 2025; she’s 8 now (5am for me)

Happy Birthday to my Marceline, 8 years ago today (July 2, 2025) she came into this world five days before her due date to see wtf was so funny 🤣 this post, like many other things, are on a long list of topics to discuss when she’s older lol

Happy 9th Birthday Little Marceline!!! (July 2 2026)

It’s July 2 2026 internet, help me wish a Happy Birthday to my brilliant and beautiful 9 year old, Marceline! I’ve shown her (most of) the comments and she says “thank u internet 😁😁”

Need to be taken apart and reassembled like a broken watch . Not in a sex way I just think they should put my joints together right this time

rebecca black was right. It’s Friday

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust