The parts my editor cut

HOW IS MY SISTER STRAIGHT UP CARRYING A GUZHENG?????

being an adult is always like i have to go to the store i have to go to the store i have to go to the store

this is so much funnier if you assume the DM is God.

This is how I'm gonna explain dnd to people from now on

have you even tried becoming the favored and cosseted concubine of a powerful warrior woman

some people really do need to start reminding themselves that the answer to "why didn't the character just do [something entirely different]" is often simply "because then there wouldn't be a story"

the plot chickens

why do 70,000 people have as bad of a sense of humor as me

I have heard a variant on it that I really like: "You cannot hate yourself into someone you can love."

it would be so funny if all fire actually came from the fire dimension, so putting out a fire would be like putting out a cat at night

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

not me though. im girl with tanktop

we are goig to GET you

seeing people say "this trope has been done to death" as if that's ever stopped anyone from eating bread. BREAD HAS BEEN DONE TO DEATH FOR LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF YEARS AND WE STILL WANT MORE BREAD. write your chosen one AU. write your coffee shop meet-cute. write your 47th iteration of "there was only one bed" because guess what??? we're still hungry.