Mistborn Hero

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

The whole "Elvis sighting" thing is hilarious because, like, the first documented career Elvis impersonators began working over twenty years before the guy even died. I wonder why a public figure who has a whole industry of people who look and sound like him would generate an unusual number of posthumous sightings? It Is A Mystery.

an interest passing feels like being abandoned by the evil spirit that had taken possession of your body

pulling out hanks of grass and sighing listlessly. i kind of miss being posessed. isn't there an evil spirit somewhere that wants to possess meeee

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

you'll get the urge as an artist or a writer to say out loud the things you're worried about "the proportions are off" "kind of out of character" "i'm not good at summaries" "didn't get as much detail as i wanted" "i made a mistake and here's how" and that's the self-conscious part of your brain telling you "it's bad and if you don't tell them you know it's bad then they'll think you're stupid" but you've got to ignore that little voice and pretend you think it's good or else that little voice is going to ruin your life

I truly adore fanfics where Hannibal is Will’s sugar daddy, but I know for a fact that man doesn’t give a fuck about designer brand clothes. I’m gonna still eat them all up, but realistically Will would get another dog

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane