I’m not tech savvy enough to know how to turn things into a gif, but Alda sees his muffin top in the mirror, squishes it and then decides to cover it up with his boxers. Very funny scene, sorry I can’t post the gif.
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
we're not kids anymore.

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@tuttle-did-it
I’m not tech savvy enough to know how to turn things into a gif, but Alda sees his muffin top in the mirror, squishes it and then decides to cover it up with his boxers. Very funny scene, sorry I can’t post the gif.

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i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper
You’re really good at origami holy sh
i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation
Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?
same bitch
Yeah, neither of these things happened 👍🏼
listen here my good hoe, i can’t find photos of the 2000 nickels or the 20 stars, but i did not spend weeks planning meticulously inconvenient birthday gifts over a period of years just to get whaled on by internet gremlins. here is some equally compelling evidence for an anecdote i was saving for later:
it weighed 68.6 lbs
same hellion yes
Bugs Bunny and Lola Bunny reinterpret this cartoon first published in German magazine Lustige Blätter in 1932:
eternal monogamy <3
they had a threesome when they first got together with Lily.
i wish i were rich because that way i could comtinue being Insane & Useless and it would be fine like not even a problem
#poor people are crazy-- i'm eccentric
#dennis hopper was so fucking good in this movie#speed (1994)
If you like Dennis Hopper and haven't seen it yet, he's EXCELLENT in this episode of Twilight Zone.
Breakdown here if you don't want to watch it but still want to know about it. It's a darker episode, but it's excellent.
If you have no other way to access Twilight Zone, You can watch it on @theinternetarchive here but the episode is loading very slowly. There's a colourised version of it... which I am VERY against, but at least you would be able to watch it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i wish i were rich because that way i could comtinue being Insane & Useless and it would be fine like not even a problem
I canceled my Netflix and HBO MAX and bought a MASH box set, Simpsons 1989–1995 box-set, Tales From The Darkside box set, and a Taxi box-set. I don’t care. I also deleted Facebook, Instagram, but I am keeping Tumblr. I already feel lifted. I’m going to make Goya black bean soup in a can now and enjoy a comfort food.
Welcome to reality my friend
making healthy choices. good job.
The Vampire Lestat: After Dark
You are pretty, darling.
LOUIS DE POINTE DU LAC in INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE/THE VAMPIRE LESTAT 3.03/1.03 | Toronto
can I just point out that if Lestat had seen Louis drop vertebrae and heart after ripping them out of a person's chest? I genuinely don't think he would've ever orgasmed harder. Ever. He would've never wanted Louis more than in that moment.
genius.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.
I mean, I haven't seen it but I'm now more interested.
It looks fine according to DTDD but I have no capacity for anything gloomy and dark. So tell me this, does it have a happy ending or is it tragic?
Very happy ending! It's sad in some parts, at the beginning specially, but the synopsys of the film is "the earth is dying and grace wakes up in a ship with all his crew mates dead".
So it has some sad moments, but it's a fun film to watch
As long as a dog doesn't die or it doesn't end in tragedy with people being separated from someone they love (especially a dog), should be okay. Grand, I'm convinced, I'll put it on the queue. Cheers!
hey real quick? shoutout to disabled people who dont want to be role models or idols to the world. shoutout to disabled people who dont want to put themselves out there to be examples and be a voice for other disabled people, who just want to be left the fuck alone. its hard being told how strong/brave you are for living when you just want to be treated like a person, i know. please know that you are not obligated to be an example or a voice. you dont have to be a role model. you dont have to put yourself out there no matter how much abled people tell you that you’re such a strong and influential person, youre allowed to just be. i love you, i wish us all a peaceful and happy life
yet another july is upon us happy disability pride month
Because I feel like kids of color don’t hear it enough: domestic abuse is not a part of your culture.
A lot of us were raised with the idea that “its normal for wives/children to get hit! it helps them learn– only white folk don’t get beaten when they misbehave”. That’s not true, white people aren’t the only ones who deserve a safe and abuse free environment. Black and brown people can and do have loving families.
If you’re in a situation where you are enduring abuse and people use your culture to justify it, I want you to know that what they’re telling you are lies.
as someone who studies this: statistically speaking, child abuse (including “spanking”, because all forms of hitting children are abusive) is pretty much equally prevalent in households of all racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds. so yeah, don’t let people use the “culture” excuse on you, but also, don’t believe others are experiencing it less just because it’s less normalized in their culture to talk about it. we all gotta work together to fix this shit.
This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.
I mean, I haven't seen it but I'm now more interested.
It looks fine according to DTDD but I have no capacity for anything gloomy and dark. So tell me this, does it have a happy ending or is it tragic?
Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”
"I'd say she knows a little more about sci-fi than you do, pal, BECAUSE SHE INVENTED IT!"

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Me opening tumblr to discover children whining about 🧛 VAMPIRES 🧛 being bad ❌PEOPLE ❌
When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll "Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?". Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly "Borg Cube", but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.
So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said "Death Star".
So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.
Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.
This is amazing. This made my day.
hours later and I am still sensibly chuckling.