I Need A Nap

what kind of forgotten god are you

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

me and my buddies are building a silk road between our houses to make trading of spices, tea and oils easier

“It’s photoshopped” honestly in the age of AI that has a homey sort of nostalgia to it. Remember when people used to put effort into faking things?

photoshop fakers are like the villain with moral standards now

Hell, I would rather it be the jankiest of 'shops than the best of AI. Show me it meant something to you

Every joke a person could tell is 100x funnier if it's drawn shittily in ms paint than if it was made with ai

In theory mornings are wonderous. In practice fuck all of you

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

personal agenda. Personal.

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

@funnier-as-a-system

[image description: a sign that says, in all uppercase: it's you vs you and one of you has to die / end description]

this is literally the 92 bulls

MICHAEL JORDAN DID NOT HAVE DEATH RAYS COME OUTTA HIS HAND

it’s called a fade away jumper

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom