what ifβ¦

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@meethmun
what ifβ¦

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Vinyl records are circular because it's an efficient use of space: the grooves that encode the music are laid out in a spiral on the disc, so that the needle only has to move as far as the disc's radius to read the entire thing. Before this clever idea was thought of, the grooves were instead laid out in a straight line, and every LP was a narrow rectangle more than a thousand feet long. To flip an album to side b at least two people were needed, one at each end, coordinating via shouted instructions.
so I would like to bring your attention to the fact that music can in fact be stored on very long skinny rectangles
they made them smaller to make it easy to flip to the B side though
they made them smaller
to make it easy to flip
to the B side though
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: π€€
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup
"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."
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No one: Tumblr gif makers: *downloads a 70GB video file just to make one gifset of some blorbo thatβll only get 120 notes*

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βSometimes βdadβ is your best friendβs controversially older boyfriendβ and itβs trinity santos bonding with jack
I cant go to my local libary anymore because last year when I stopped by a librarian was reading a book I wrote under a pen name years ago. This book sold under 10k copies and I've literally only heard people talk about this book online *if* I went looking for it so I went up to them and tried to start a conversation like "oh hey I've heard of that book is it good?" Like hoping for some real feedback and she goes "yeah I love reading things by queer writers" and in a moment of terror I was like "oh but- hold on, I thought the author was some old hetero white guy?!" A thing I thought because I used my own dead grandpa's picture for the author pic because grandpa never had internet. I fake looked it up and was like "yeah if he was queer its not public?" And without looking up this absolute unit goes "oh the author bio is obviously fake. I'd bet my left leg the author is a west coast millennial non-binary queer who has never lived on the east coast." And then proceeded to rattle off a dozen linguistic flourishes that are specfic to the pacific northwest that are in the book and several that are nearly ubiquitous in the state where I said my pen name lives that are somehow completely absent from the book.
So you know. Got read for fifth and didn't even find out if she liked it.
I didn't even know they had a category for that
My new pet peeve is people completely misunderstanding the term Male Gaze and making the term female gaze based entirely on that misunderstanding
the white boy of the month pushing his hair back and reading poetry for the camera is not the equivalent of the dehumanization of women in visual media by way of presenting them primarily as vessels for sexual gratification

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late summer / early fall thoughts
iβm always thinking about that news story where a three year old boy who wandered away from his house and ended up in the middle of the woods was found by this local great pyrenees farm dog who herded the kid back to his unrelated owners house. and the guy was like. whose kid is this
that dog must have been like. hmm. this isnβt a goat. some human must have left their puppy behind by accident. i have to bring this to management. surely my owner will be able to sort out whatever has occurred. that kid was like iβm all alone and scared and omg a big fluffy puppy is here to help. and that fucking farmer looking at his dog like. whoβs toddler did you steal???
I think it is very important that everyone see the good boy in question. His name is Buford.
Do people know this is the husband of the prime minister of New Zealand
And who is the guy burying him in the sand
The most PATHETIC lil baby sounds...
I love when little creatures who are entirely loved and well cared for have the BIGGEST baby reactions to normal things. Like yes sweet pea, you DO have the hardest life of anyone ever, for sure, and youβre SO BRAVE about this minor inconvenience of *checks notes* having some water touch you
There is nothing sadder and more pathetic than a baby marine mammal having to get into the water. They are suffering the most out of any baby animal ever. How dare they be introduced to their natural environment.
Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.
He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"
"What?"
He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"
"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."
Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.
Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

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I spent the month before my wedding (it was last saturday!) working on this huge angelgotchi tapestry to display at our reception! Really pleased with how it came out <3
Your pronouns sound like someone clearing their throat
you guys find new ways to hate crime every day
my gender is now canceled everyone stop perceiving it