Diva alert ⚠️

I think that now I’m one of those evil people in the movies that thinks an AI can’t be a person. I’m the guy saying that your robot girlfriend isn’t real. They’re gonna kill me during the matrix wars.

i fucking hate being an adult with a slowly increasing number of responsibilities its like one day you wake up and youre like aw fuck when was the last time i descaled the coffee machine

"theres gonna be a power outage tomorrow welp i better boil some water in advance!" "oh gee looks like its time to vacuum the carpet!" GET REAL?????? YOU SOUND INSANE

someday youre gonna be out of baking soda when it matters most and its gonna destroy you

I'm very very glad that my knee-jerk, gut-feeling, primal-instinct reaction to seeing a Default Influencer is embarrassment. I think this saves me from a lot of bullshit.

To be clear ☝️, absolutely not gender-exclusive. Some broccoli-haired shirtless 23-year-old man on enough trenbolone to euthanize a different horse starts talking about how to be a high-value male and I start thinking instantly about how I'd have 4,000 slugs use me as a jungle-gym before I'd want this man within cootie-contagion distance of me.

Respect for my soldiers… she’s saving him… the hons…

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.

One of worst things copaganda ever perpetuated is the rhetoric that if you aren't guilty of breaking the law, you shouldn't value your personal privacy against the state's surveillance and interrogation. That only guilty people hire lawyers when talking to police.