:|: White Bear :|:

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

Haunted house horror movie where the humans are house flippers and the audience is rooting for the ghost to kill them before they tear down all crown molding and paint all the wood.

we used to get christmas episodes of television. halloween episodes. valentines. we used to get television that felt like part of your life. like it was happening alongside your life. now we mostly get 8 episodes dropping all at once every two years and they don't have time for any of that. i miss characters living alongside us

You also purchase CDs once and as long as nothing happens to them you get to keep them forever.

and if you have a computer with a disc drive, you can move the content of those CDs onto it and then burn it onto future CDs. it doesn't even have to be the same album. you can make a playlist with physical media. you just have access to all of it, at your whim, with no unskippable ads being shoved in your ears. it's really nice!

these days the circus isn't funny and the bread kills you

I miss the good autocorrect

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

one day i will crack my back in a way that will solve all my life problems