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Everyone in this family is hilarious no notes

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that-one-support

No one cared who I was until I put on the cage

pretentious-ravioli

baambastic

The Author’s Barely Disguised Desire to Dom Man Ray apparently

alienestrangement

blood and organs burst from truck in Netherlands

exitwound

the aftermath

teratocybernetics

not sure why my photo app only does this in this Rae Dunn-ass font but i had to

trangoldin

source

digitalmyyth

you should draw something related to grace and stratt being weird and really always attached at the hip

their relationship is special to me

she needed. a chair

#project hail mary

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technofeudalism

merely-another-fool

lesbianmarrow

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

redeyye

roseschmits

Tentacle pots and Spider pot

Porcelain

Available on www.roseschmits.com

Free UK shipping, worldwide shipping available

ashoss

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

amnesiaguy

of all the stupid things i’ve posted on the internet it’s very baffling and awesome that #mytwig had such a lasting impact. anyway long live #mytwig

I try to walk dramatically out into the water never to be seen again but it turns out after a brief dip the ground plateaus pretty far and fifty feet out the water isn't even touching my knees and everyone can still see me and I try to play it off like I was just going for a little walk but everyone can tell

#got yelled at by a lifeguard for being too far from shore which is very easy to do accidentally when the water only comes up to your ankles

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json-derulo

toby just did something so smart that I worry it'll sound like I'm making it up

json-derulo

we have one of those air purifier things. it's roughly the size and shape of a small end table and situated about halfway between the kitchen & living room to mitigate cooking smells/smoke/etc. the intake is through the top, and it pushes the purified air out through a vent on the side.

now, we've already seen toby make use of this in the past. he discovered that since it pulls in air from about eighteen inches higher than his nose can reach and expels it at his height, he can use it to get more smell data on current kitchen happenings. when I start cooking, he goes over to it and starts sniffing. but he's now advanced even further in his use of this particular tool.

lately, I've noticed that after drinking water, toby goes over to the vent and stands near it for 10-15 seconds or so before continuing on his merry way. I couldn't figure out why; usually, nothing that would produce interesting smells was happening. but when he did it today, I watched him more closely, and I saw he was gently swiveling his head from side to side. really weird, right? why would that help him sniff it better?

dear reader, this dog was using the air coming out of the vent as his personal beard dryer.

json-derulo

⬆️ one of the greatest scientific minds (and biggest haters of Wet) of our generation

inthefallofasparrow

json-derulo

when we started talking about getting a small-breed dog I was like, "I will NEVER turn into one of those people who treats their little dog like a doll or an accessory by forcing them to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Dogs HATE that. They should get to be DOGS, and that means not having to wear anything but a HARNESS and being FREE to ROLL in the MUD." and then I adopted a dog who throws a fit if you try to take him for a walk without letting him pick out a bow tie first. a dog who loves wearing pajamas so much that I'm about to spend a disgusting amount of money on several sets of linen ones for summer. a dog who watches me wave at him to follow me through a mud puddle and just stands there blinking up at me like, "are you fucking serious? and get my paws wet?"

json-derulo

me: I will raise him no differently than the two 80-lb labs I had growing up. absolutely no hoity-toity frou frou little yapyap dog stuff. he's gonna be a good ol' fashioned, rough-and-tumble, capital D-O-G—

—never mind. the boy yearns to be ensweatered

json-derulo

to celebrate the popularity of this post, I ordered him another set of the linen jammies in yellow. now he looks like paddington bear

the etsy seller threw in a little miniature hermes silk scarf as a freebie and I dare you to tell me he doesn't know how handsome he looks in it. whenever we take it off of him he broods like he's a wealthy victorian orphan child in desperate need of a seaside holiday to restore his delicate aristocratic constitution

tasty-tiktoks

#save

icecreamwithjackdaniels

Frank Paton (English, 1855–1909), "Witness my Act and Deed", 1882

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escapedaudios

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

pathogenflock

"he would not fucking say that" but about injuries. he would not fucking recover that quickly. those scars would not fucking heal like that. he would not be fucking able bodied after that. he would not be fully lucid after that.