Why did I make this?

Primus Tachonis is an all-purpose personal tragedy creator sure to spur your character to adventure specifically so they can get his ass. Whether you need an old money asshole muscling in on an institution beloved to your PC or an evil sorcerer to slaughter their entire family Primus Tachonis has the magic and the social station to create whatever tragedy is required to serve your backstory.

Primus Tachonis is so versatile as a backstory tool he has professional D&D players raving:

Primus Tachonis killed my character's best friend and now she has to figure out who she is without him! -Laura Bailey I wrote a light backstory because I was still feeling out the setting and my dungeon master used Primus Tachonis to turn my brother into a statue! -Travis Willingham Primus Tachonis is trying to take over my character's magic school and endangering her students, and she will not have that! -Marisha Rey I had intended my character to have a tense but ultimately repairable relationship with his father, but then my DM used Primus Tachonis to rip his skull from his head. Now my character is on a quest to kill every member of Primus' noble house! -Matthew Mercer My character was a happy and established local playwright until Primus Tachonis had his little brother executed. Now he's taken up the sword again in his brother's stead! -Liam O'Brian I needed someone to murder my character's wife and daughter and my dungeon master suggested Primus Tachonis, and I couldn't be happier with the result! -Robbie Daymond Even works on members of his own family! -Alexander Ward

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

pyrrhic task: you can get it done but it's going to cost you

medean task: you can get it done and you don't care what it costs you

dionysian task: task that might not be -better- if you do it drunk, but -will- definitely be more fun

hegelochic task: it was a simple job, but your name will be recorded in the annals of history for how impressively you fucked it up

task of theseus: a project for which the parameters have changed so many times that you're not sure it IS still the same task

But, crucially, the books manage all of this while having stakes. There are the relationship, personal level ones-- will these orphaned kids become friends? Will they learn to overcome the traumas of their respective backstories? Will they learn to master their magic?

And then there are Larger, life-threatening stakes... but crucially, not 'save-the-world' level. Pierce made the excellent choice for the first quartet (when the kids are like ~10-12 ish) to generally have the threats be natural. An earthquake, a forest fire, a pandemic; there's a pirate raid, but even then the framing feels more like a force of nature. As the kids age, the threats do become more human, but remain generally localized. A crime syndicate, a serial killer. The focus of the story remains what can we do to improve things, here, now, where we are?

Lady Ramkin made herself a cup of cocoa and listened to the rain gurgling in the pipes outside. She slipped off the hated dancing shoes, which even she was prepared to concede were like a pair of pink canoes. But nobbyless obligay, as the funny little sergeant would say, and as the last representative of one of Ankh-Morpork’s oldest families she’d had to go to the victory ball to show willing. Lord Vetinari seldom had balls. There was a popular song about it, in fact. But now it was going to be balls all the way.

lol.

also, i have a headcanon that at some point, vetinari is compelled to organize some kind of ball, but it turns out the facilities at the palace just aren't up to snuff at all. perhaps he's left them in disrepair ever since the Dragon Incident -- really! that long! or just uses it as extra storage space. there's some bits & pieces about him maintaining the Bloody Stupid Johnson garden, and the zoo, and the racehorse stable, just because he's reluctant to change things; & that he keeps leonard around just because he likes hanging onto anything that might be useful later. so i think the palace unfortunately has a bit of an Old Furniture Problem bc vetinari is not in favor of throwing things out. thus -- it ends up in the ballroom. thus -- there is no ballroom, so much as there's a very big, fancy storage room

so, anyway, upon being compelled to arrange a ball for visiting dignitaries, he's got no place to put it. luckily, it turns out sybil, although about as much of a packrat, has managed to maintain a fairly decent ballroom at ramkin manor, it'll be lovely with a bit of fresh paint & some airing out (to get rid of the dragon smell). it's a great idea. the big fancy ball goes great. vimes shows up for about half the night before slinking off, sybil charms everyone to bits, vimes & sybil & vetinari are all sort of in the capacity of being each other's plus-ones...