this bit in guards! guards!:
Lady Ramkin made herself a cup of cocoa and listened to the rain gurgling in the pipes outside. She slipped off the hated dancing shoes, which even she was prepared to concede were like a pair of pink canoes. But nobbyless obligay, as the funny little sergeant would say, and as the last representative of one of Ankh-Morpork’s oldest families she’d had to go to the victory ball to show willing. Lord Vetinari seldom had balls. There was a popular song about it, in fact. But now it was going to be balls all the way.
lol.
also, i have a headcanon that at some point, vetinari is compelled to organize some kind of ball, but it turns out the facilities at the palace just aren't up to snuff at all. perhaps he's left them in disrepair ever since the Dragon Incident -- really! that long! or just uses it as extra storage space. there's some bits & pieces about him maintaining the Bloody Stupid Johnson garden, and the zoo, and the racehorse stable, just because he's reluctant to change things; & that he keeps leonard around just because he likes hanging onto anything that might be useful later. so i think the palace unfortunately has a bit of an Old Furniture Problem bc vetinari is not in favor of throwing things out. thus -- it ends up in the ballroom. thus -- there is no ballroom, so much as there's a very big, fancy storage room
so, anyway, upon being compelled to arrange a ball for visiting dignitaries, he's got no place to put it. luckily, it turns out sybil, although about as much of a packrat, has managed to maintain a fairly decent ballroom at ramkin manor, it'll be lovely with a bit of fresh paint & some airing out (to get rid of the dragon smell). it's a great idea. the big fancy ball goes great. vimes shows up for about half the night before slinking off, sybil charms everyone to bits, vimes & sybil & vetinari are all sort of in the capacity of being each other's plus-ones...
the only drawback is that, from then on, the popular song aforementioned (upon the topic of vetinari "seldom had balls") has its lyrics updated to state that in fact, the duke & duchess of ankh hold lord vetinari's balls
