the grim reaper

it’s infuriating when the customer is wrong yes we all know this. however it’s probably 10000x worse when the customer is right, because what do you MEAN my coworker deleted 7 of your fucking accounts off of your profile when you just wanted to edit them and now I have to deal with it??? i can’t even be pissed that you’re being a bitch about it because i would be too!!! fuck!!!!

Roommate asked if they could use my (dad’s) hbo account to watch hotd i said dude go ahead if i logged in on the tv you can watch whatever on my accounts you could watch gay porn and they went “i did. We all did.” Heated rivalry

i recently found out what the * * * that sometimes separates parts of a text is called and youre never gonna fucking believe it

more ppl need to get hooked on this drug called album in order. not enough people on album in order these days

therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now

Oh fuck dude, you smoked that weed? That's the forever weed. The weed that makes you high forever. Hope you're having a good time because it's permanent. Also I hope it's okay, but I just invited 100 people over, and if they find out you're high you're FUCKED.

terrified for when they make me compete in the wasian olympics and it's me and markiplier doing couples free skate against alyssa liu and shane hollander

Sometimes in a professional setting you’ll come across someone in their 60s who just cannot open a PDF in their email. And the thing is. They’re lowkey not old enough to be acting like that. You guys were in your early 30s at the latest when email took off. You’ve actually been doing this for longer than I have. Get real and click on the damn attachment.

only a matter of time until bob dylan onlyfans

inshallah he will be drank

@sneakystabbythief