Lizard-jim

a core part of being on tumblr is watching the site kick itself in the dick

Gave a gamer girl a hickey call me the Mark Applier

no

Call this guy the Mark Denier

no

Call this guy the Mark Replier

Dogs are machines that turn normal toys into wet yucky toys

For anyone keeping up with the Stranger Things "secret good finale" conspiracy (yes, it is just the Sherlock "secret good episode" thing with a new show.) the current theory is that tomorrow, in place of SNL, the actual finale of Stranger Things will air. They are presenting this as something plausible, and not something that Lorne Michaels would have beaten the Duffer Brothers to death over if they even suggested it.

The subreddit also has a 60 page masterdoc of all their evidence, if anyone wants to archive that for the inevitable youtube video that's going to be made.

I can't wait for the video essays

why don’t they make a baby pope.

having to elect a new pope every ten years because they keep dying is super inconvenient. if it’s a baby that’s a solid 80 year streak right there. and a baby is basically a clean slate so he can be influenced by the forces of good and evil as he grows. we’ll see what god really wants

i feel like tumblr doesnt know about the pain and suffering that is english tap water,,,, girl there are stalagmites inside me

Lmao op lives in the south. The tap water up here is from fucking springs. It's so clean and fresh and has no stalagmites whatsoever. Cope and seethe southerner

My bones are so strong from all the chalk I've been drinking that I could mull you into a fine paste

You guys are like a two hour drive from each other

I had a dream where I uncovered that jd vance killed jonbenet ramsey

I cannot believe thirty years after his most dastardly crime JD Vance killed the pope. How much longer will we let this continue

Gonna be so real if a 12 year old traced my art and put it on their school binder I would be so fucking honored

i would levy a lawsuit against them that would leave their family in ruins