bagels for breakfast bagels for lunch toasting them good so they have a nice crunch. bagels in the morning bagel in the afternoon bagel big and round got me howling at the moon
untitled
Fai_Ryy
occasionally subtle
Claire Keane
EXPECTATIONS
d e v o n
Monterey Bay Aquarium
The Stonewall Inn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
official daine visual archive
cherry valley forever

blake kathryn
h
Interview Vampire Daily
sheepfilms

Origami Around
Phantogram Three
ojovivo

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@astronomical-bagel
bagels for breakfast bagels for lunch toasting them good so they have a nice crunch. bagels in the morning bagel in the afternoon bagel big and round got me howling at the moon

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I offered to come check on my friend's animals while she's away for the long weekend
She thinks I'm joking
But I'm ready
Wait. Are there 200, but to be numbered 1-250? Did I read those tags right? 😲
Yes there are actually 202 of them, the company sent 2 extra in the package, and I will be numbering them on the bottom with sharpie marker 1-250. This will ensure even if she manages to find all 202, she will never truly stop feeling like there might be a tiny duck somewhere unknown in the house. Lurking. Waiting to appear at the strangest time.
#sometimes you must be gently evil to your friends#so they know you love them enough
very very important
hey op i don't think those are frogs like you said
they're right those arent frogs op.
I meant to prank my friend by hiding hundreds of small ducks after saying I would hide small frogs, but it turns out due to some quirk of only 3 people on the entire Internet knowing what a prank is, it seems I have pranked hundreds of other people by saying I would put 100 small frogs in my friends house, when in fact the prank was that it was 202 small ducks.
an update. it has been over 4 months and they are still finding ducks
1 year and 7 months later:
#imagine the dread she felt when she found the first duck and realized op wasn't joking (via @robyn-goodfellowe)
The key to a good prank, imo, is that the person you're pranking should not feel bad. They should feel delight. My friend has 2 kids. She walked in the door from her vacation, and instead of having two cranky children to deal with as soon as she got home on top of everything else, she got two children excited to run around finding small ducks. My friend knows me well enough to know that when I say weird things there's always a chance I'm not joking, and she would have said no (and been respected) if she didn't want this. The prank was never that I was hiding the toys, just which toys they were, and how many would be hidden.
boomers break
Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.
This reminds me of the blood river in Antarctica. For like a century scientists had no clue why this river looked like, acted like, and felt exactly like blood. Turns out it’s just really high in iron.
"Blood River in Antartica" yeah right there's no way a river looks like bl-
...nevermind
Blood Falls isn't just high in iron, it's the byproducts of extremophile bacteria that have been isolated under a glacier in a iron- and sulfur-rich anoxic brine for the past 5 million years.
A compilation of Cub being a walking Scar encyclopedia (and being very proud of it)
[Transcript:
Clip 1:
SCAR: Etho... I dunno if you guy have heard about his poop hose. It often freezes in the winter.
REN: The what now?
CLEO: Sorry, what?
REN: Wait, what?
CLEO: What?
SCAR: He's got like an above ground septicー
CUB: Scar loves this, and brings this up at every possible opportunity. [SCAR laughs]
REN: What freezes?
CUB: [CUB laughs] He does! He loves this.
CLEO: I, I missedー What freezes, Scar?
SCAR: Okay, it's my favorite Etho lore.
CLEO: Okay.
SCAR: So, he's got an above ground septic tank that is just like, a hose. And it freezes at night, that sometimes needs... unfreezing.
Clip 2:
CUB: Why did you think about this specifically though, Scar?
SCAR: I was watching a video on it the other day. [SCAR laughs]
TANGO: [TANGO mutes and talks to chat] "Bikini Atoll", got ya.
CUB: Whatever Scar has most recently watched, Tango, that what is always on his mind.
TANGO: Yeah, yeah. [CUB laughs with SCAR] Very influenced by recent events.
CUB: Yeah!
Clip 3:
CUB: Xisuma, are you one of those people who like, subscribes to a streaming service, and then cancel the streaming service after a few months?
XISUMA: Yup. I just shuffle the streaming.
SCAR: My man.
CUB: Oh! [CUB claps] He's a streammaxxer! Let's go! [XISUMA laughs]
SCAR: We've got two streammaxxers here!
CUB: Streammaxing! Scar is a big streammaxxer as well.
XISUMA: It's smart! It's smart. Just stick to one platform for a lil' while, make the most out of your money, then move on to another one.
SCAR: Exactly. Exactly.
Clip 4:
SKIZZ: I have a buddy, whose father like, worked there sometimes. You know what I mean? Cause he's likeー
SCAR: Did he fly on Janet?
SKIZZ: I don't even know what that means.
CUB: Scar is deep, deep, deep into the Area 51 stuff. Just so you know. [CUB laughs] Just beware.
SKIZZ: I mean, when you say "did he ride Janet?" you might want to clear up what you're asking. [SKIZZ laughs]
SCAR: Janet Air is the third party contractorー
Clip 5
CUB: [CUB reads out a resub message] says, "5 months, yippie! Some time ago you said Scar told you he was the Ore Snatcher. Was that true? Or did you just say that to mess with the hermits? Also similarly, have you told any of the hermits that you were the Jingler before the official reveal?"
Scar actually did not tell me, but I knew. [CUB laughs] I know Scar quite well, and I've been around Scar enough to know how he types on signs, and what spelling mistakes he makes on signs, and how he operates in terms of like, how he like, plays the game. So I knewー I was like 99% sure it was Scar, because I actually came up with the idea for the ore snatcher. Back in the beginning of season 10, close to the beginning of season 10, on a stream with Jevin, Scar and Joe. So I knew it had to be one of those people.
Jevin was not on enough during the time when the Ore Snatcher was active, for it to be him. And Joe I suspected wouldn't be the Ore Snatcher because he livestreams so much and would to go through so much extra work, to get the Ore Snatcher stuff done. So I suspected Scar from the start, and then once I saw the sign I knew 100% it was Scar. And I said it was Scar from the very beginning and nobody believed me! Nobody belived me!! They all thought it was me trying to pin it on Scar or something, oh my god!
Transcript end.]

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all you new fandom members need to QUIET DOWN oh my god you're going to get us KILLED. we're happy to have you but if you keep talking about BULLSHIT like PUBLISHING fanfic for MONEY, Anne Rice is going to come back from the dead to KILL US. looking at YOU, maurauders fans, heated rivalry fans, byler fans...out here giving out interviews to news channels SHUT UP. we're going to have to start setting off firecrackers to keep the rent down.
#unfortunately the kids raised on hustle culture and lack of privacy don’t know much about discretion online and letting hobbies be hobbies
Tags from prev.
Andre 3000 in Honey Magazine, 2002 shot by Marc Baptiste
rip magnus archives crew but I'm built different. if my boss was literally all-knowing and couldn't fire me, I'd be in his office all day asking him questions about everything. I wouldn't use google anymore. I'd be like "what's the rarest kind of tree frog" and he'd be like "shut up please shut up" but he'd tell me the answer every time.
and then I'd go home and immediately call him and be like "hey elias I forgot what time I put the burekas in the oven, how much longer should I leave them in"
and he'd be like "I hate you so much. you put them in 12:42. they should come out at 1:12"
if I don’t make it back from where I’ve gone, just know I loved you all along
kyaa

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Silly mouse boy
Decay
phantom thieves & co.
Yall seen teen beach movie?
I inserted some lifers into it (^_^)
(Click for better quality)
AKJakhsajAJAHDKAJk I LoVE THiS

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WHAT EVEN WAS THIS SCENE
every day i walk into work and my manager says “here is the rule you must enforce” and i go “got it bossman” and i spend a couple days enforcing the rule and then my manager comes up to me and says “why are you enforcing the rule? we changed the rule yesterday and didn’t tell you” and i go “ok bossman new rule it is” and then a customer comes in asking to break the new rule and i say “sorry you can’t it’s the rule” and they say “but you don’t understand the rule doesn’t apply to me” and then my manager comes out and says “they’re right the rule doesn’t apply to them” and i ask why and my manager says “it just doesn’t.” and then the next day we get rid of the rule entirely and no one remembered it existed in the first place.
anyway this sounds like a metaphor for neurodivergence or something but it’s not this is just my fucking life