Lively Of The Mind

“Thought 007 could never be a woman or black? Well, she’s both! James Bond will hand his licence to kill to actress Lashana Lynch’s character when he retires in new film script drafted by Phoebe Waller-Bridge”

-  🎀The_News_DIVA 🎀‏

“Prediction: Whiny dudes will be shaken AND stirred.”

And then 40 years later, Andrew Lloyd Webber found a lost cat poem that T.S. Eliot had cut from the cat book for being too sad for children, and ALW was like "woahhh. A cat....that's sad. That's deep, man. I wanna make a musical out of this"

So the producer assigned to the project was like "okay, I guess you could maybe read these cat poems as a satire of 1930s British society? We could probably do something sort of interesting with that, I'm thinking a cast of about 5 and--"

And ALW was like "no. Forget the satire. Also I want a cast of dozens and the most advanced special effects technology ever seen on stage. I've taken out a second mortgage on my house to fund this"

And the producer was like "wh-- you-- wh-- do you even have. a plot"

So ALW got a bunch of actors and writers and artists together and they holed up and did cocaine workshopped for 5 weeks, and at the end of it they emerged and said "the plot is that a bunch of cats are having a dance contest for the right to take a ufo to cat heaven :)"

I had like one, maybe two friends who were all like FUCK YEAH YOU PAINT IT WHATEVER COLOR YOU WANT, PURPLE BEDROOMS ARE AWESOME.

But when they actualy saw the finished bedroom, every single one of them was like, “Oh yeah, that’s really pretty.” (Well, the ones who supported me from the beginning were more like WOOHOO.)

I work in a decent sized, local, indie bookstore. It’s a great job 99% of the time and a lot of our customers are pretty neat people. Any who, middle of the day this little old lady comes up. She’s lovably kooky. She effuses how much she loves the store and how she wishes she could spend more time in it but her husband is waiting in the car (OH! I BETTER BUY HIM SOME CHOCOLATE!), she piles a bunch of art supplies on the counter and then stops and tells me how my bangs are beautiful and remind her of the ocean (“Wooooosh” she says, making a wave gesture with her hand)

Ok. I think to myself. Awesomely happy, weird little old ladies are my favorite kind of customer. They’re thrilled about everything and they’re comfortably bananas. I can have a good time with this one. So we chat and it’s nice.

Then this kid, who’s been up my counter a few times to gather his school textbooks, comes up in line behind her (we’re connected to a major university in the city so we have a lot of harried students pass through). She turns around to him and, out of nowhere, demands that he put his textbooks on the counter. He’s confused but she explains that she’s going to buy his textbooks.

He goes sheetrock white. He refuses and adamantly insists that she can’t do that. It’s like, $400 worth of textbooks. She, this tiny old woman, bodily takes them out of her hands, throws them on the counter and turns to me with a intense stare and tells me to put them on her bill. The kid at this point is practically in tears. He’s confused and shocked and grateful. Then she turns to him and says “you need chocolate.” She starts grabbing handfuls of chocolates and putting them in her pile.

He keeps asking her “why are you doing this?” She responds “Do you like Harry Potter?“ and throws a copy of the new Cursed Child on the pile too.

Finally she’s done and I ring her up for a crazy amount of money. She pays and asks me to please give the kid a few bags for his stuff. While I’m bagging up her merchandise the kid hugs her. We’re both telling her how amazing she is and what an awesome thing she’s done. She turns to both of us and says probably one of the most profound, unscripted things I’ve ever had someone say:

“It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.”

The kid thanks her again and leaves. I tell her again how awesome she is. She’s staring out the door after him and says to me: “My son is a homeless meth addict. I don’t know what I did. I see that boy and I see the man my son could have been if someone had chosen to be kind to him at just the right time.”

I’ve bagged up all her stuff and at this point am super awkward and feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. Then she turns to me and says: I wish I could have bangs like that but my darn hair is just too curly.“ And leaves.

“I’m attracted to women.”

Everyone turned and looked at me and I was like “uhhh” so I finished.

“I’m attracted to women and I can still do my job. Regardless of what someone in my class is wearing. I can still teach. So why can’t you?”

Do you love vultures?

You should.

Here’s why:

1, They are simultaneously the most majestic, and the most f*cking derpy of birbs. Observe -

2. THEY’RE SO FUCKING BADASS. We all know that they eat dead things. Eww, right? Wrong. They’re capable of digesting fucking rabies, cholera, hundreds of strains of bacteria that would straight up kill your ass given the chance. They deserve ALL of the respect, but they don’t get any, because ‘eww they eat dead things’. 

3. THEY ARE FUCKING AMAZING AT WHAT THEY DO - Some of the highest flying birds ever recorded, with amazing eyesight and smell. Vultures are highly specialised - yes, that means they sometimes have bald heads. So what? People are all over sphinx cats and those semi-hairless dogs.

4. If you think they’re ugly, well, look at these precious babs and tell me you still don’t feel anything:

I have more reasons, but, look, I’ll just get straight to the point: 

THEY’RE GOING EXTINCT, AND MORE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW.

Populations of some vultures have fallen more than 90% in the last 20 years, and that’s scary as fuck. Reasons for this range from livestock carcasses being contaminated with certain drugs, to poachers killing them off because vultures give them away. But whatever the reasons, they’re dying off fast, and we need to act before it’s too late. We need to help protect them and conserve them as much if not more than some of the ‘cuter’ endangered creatures. 

So what can you do? Here are some useful links if you want to learn more:

http://www.rspb.org.uk/joinandhelp/donations/campaigns/vultures/

http://www.hawk-conservancy.org/Documents/HCT_IVP_leaflet_2013_E_ver.pdf

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/africanvultures

http://www.tusk.org/vulture-conservation-project

http://www.save-vultures.org/

http://www.birdlife.org/europe-and-central-asia/news/international-vulture-awareness-day-%E2%80%93-no-cause-celebration

http://www.vulpro.com/

https://tristatebird.org/adoptavulture/

https://webcamvultures.wordpress.com/adopt-a-vulture/

http://www.wwfpak.org/species/Vulture.php

Please consider helping our seldom appreciated vulture buddies, either by donating, or even just by helping to change their bad reputation!! 

They really are amazing birds ~ thank you for sticking with my long-ass post 

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, PALS!!!! 

in the last year, I’ve visited several bird of prey specialist centres, many of which are now actively championing the plight of our vulture friends - trying hard to endear them to the public and supporting/ participating in overseas causes that help in various ways. One of these places was the Hawk Conservancy Trust which, if you’re in the UK, I HIGHLY recommend - both for the quality of the centre and the displays they run, and for the extensive conservation work they do at home and overseas!

Anyway, enough talk. It’s time to appreciate this sleepy boy. 

I was ecstatic. It was the closest I’ve ever gotten to a vulture, and the biggest grouping too.

Guy walks by with his dog. I’ve got my binoculars in my camera and I’m practically peeing myself with excitement. “What do you see?” he asks.

“Vultures!”

“Oh. That’s too bad.”

I look at him like he is an alien from outer space.

“Always a shame when something dies.” And then he walks off.

Um, dude. Things die. When you look at a hawk or a bald eagle, do you think, “Oh, what a shame, that thing is only alive because it kills things. Such a shame when things die. Damn, wish I’d never seen that magnificent creature. Now I’m just going to be depressed all day.”

No, you think, “wow!”

And if you think wow when you see hawks and eagles, then how much more noble are vultures, who have the same glorious carriage without being murderous?

(I mean, seriously. Have you ever seen a predator go after its prey? I was going to say “kill,” but not all of them actually kill their prey before they start eating it. And you think vultures are disturbing?)

Also, would you like the dead bodies of small animals to just sit in your local woods and rot until you can smell them from a quarter mile away? The vultures are doing you a favor.